I seen my oncologist just over two weeks ago and to be honest i am no further forward . All i know is i have a cyst 5 to 6cm on ovary with a solid area and a normal c125. She dosent know if there is any cancer there . I am have surgery on the 14 of August to remove both overies and fallopian tubes. I get so depressed i cant think of my first unborn grandchild which is so selfish of me but i am so scared i wont get to love him or her like i want to . I have found a friend on here and we exchanged phone numbers and she does give me hope and raises my spirits and i cant thank her enough . My son finds out the sex of the baby tomorrow and i so want to go but i am terrified i wont be in its life for long if im in its life at all sorry for moaning on i know alot of you ladies are so strong so why im i so dam weak ? Hope your all doing well
Love tracey xxx
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Trossyann
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We all have our moments when we wobble and you are so new to all this worry.
I encourage you to be in the moment, and not rob yourself of the miracle of the upcoming birth of your grandchild. Every moment is precious. Every moment counts. If you can go with your son, please go. You can do this.
I am so scared of the unknow my there is so many things running around in my head i want to be a good nana but i cant get passed the thought i am going to be really poorly if and when i have chemo. I will go with him and his girlfriend as he wants me to he keeps saying everything is going to be fine . The funny thing is nancy why do i feel so well ? Thanks for your reply it means alot .
If you're feeling well, run with that feeling and savour it!
Everyone heals from their surgery at a different rate, and everyone responds to chemo differently. It's not a given that chemo will be a horrible experience. The anti-nausea drugs today are so powerful. I'm on third line of treatment and as soon as I get that queasy feeling, I take an anti-nausea pill and haven't been sick once. Yes, I've had fatigue, yes I sleep lots (naps rule!), yes I had neuropathy and bone pain, but most of that goes away after a while.
So, don't borrow trouble. You just don't know how your body will react to the chemo.
I've been overwhelmed at the kindness of the hospital staff and the people on this forum. They've all been so encouraging. You are not alone.
Thankyou so much nancy i will take everything on board and i am going to see my unborn grandchilds scan Now i have let some off my fears out i am going to relax till i go for surgery
It's completely normal to feel scared for the future at the stage you're at. We always say on here that the waiting is the worst bit. It sure is!
Why don't you give the Ovacome nurse helpline a ring tomorrow? (10-5) ovacome.org.uk. They'll be able to help you, I'm sure.
Things to hang on to, at the moment:-
They're investigating quickly, that's good.
Your CA125 is normal (mine was 545)
The cyst is quite small, which means, even if it's cancerous or borderline, they'll get it all out quickly.
You're getting rid of it, whatever it is. The op will not be nearly as bad as you think, either.
In the meantime, don't google anything except the reputable sites...Ovacome, Target Ovarian Cancer and The Eve Appeal are all excellent with loads of support and info on their website.
Try to keep busy and do something enjoyable or soothing........going for a walk or listening to some favourite music, having a cuppa and a cake- they all help to keep us on an even keel.
It's definitely not a death sentence - my op was nearly 16 years ago. I'm still here, as are so very many of us.
Start thinking of good things in your life, especially that grandchild. Is there a support group near you? They're fantastic.
It's not a question of us all being strong and you being weak. We all have our wobbly moments. We just support each other and get through somehow. You'll get through.
Can i firstly say thankyou so much for your kind and soothing words . Some days i am not so bad but other days i am in turmoil thinking the worst outcome possible and i dont even know if it is cancer for sure yet .
I think i will give them a ring .
Thanks for the advice wendy i will take it all on board and settle myself down .i will go to see my unborn babys scan tomorrow we find out if its going to be a boy or girl 😁 i have to be strong and fight these i got a grandchild to look forward to .
It is the waiting it drives you insane it as me lol
Just a further note....I'm more than willing to help anyone I can. I made a conscious decision to help women in the same position as I am, in as many ways as I can. At the meeting ment I'm supporting elderly parents in their 90s, so life's a bit busy. I don't drop in here as much as I used to. However, I'm chair of the Essex gynae Cancer support group, anyone can look on there. There's also an open Facebook and twitter link on there that anyone can follow. copescharity.co.uk
If you're in Essex, do drop in and see us! We have fab coffee mornings and cakes. All of us in the group have 'been there'.
If you read my profile, you can see that chemo isn't inevitable. It depends what the results of your op are. Just because you're having an op doesn't mean you have cancer. They can only find out if you have, by operating. I'd had loads ads if gynae problems over the years, infertility, endometriosis, painful periods, massively heavy bleeds/clots, fibroids etc. It was a blessing to get on with the surgery, and I felt better than ever afterwards.
Wow you are a inspiration i am lost for words all that you are doing its a shame i live up north because if i lived nearer i would have popped in to see you .
Thanks for taking your time to talk to me i feel alot better now as i thought my head was going to explode .
Take care wendy and thanks so much i will have a look at that link on facebook.
I am from hartlepool if you have heard of it not alot have . Yorkshire is a lovley place all parts of it .
I hope there is a support group near me .
Thanks again for your reply
Take care wendy
I grateful Tracey xx
Hi Trossyann, everything is so huge at the moment that you are really getting upset over a lot of what ifs. I was in your place a long time ago. I had recurrence in 2010 and lost twin grandsons but the chemo worked and I lived to see my eldest grandson born 2011 and I have another since last July, he is one year old. So to tell you, your doctors have a plan, a plan that will work, you will get to meet your grandson and perhaps another few. I have enjoyed seven years with my older boy although they live far away. So you have to have hope. Your emotions are rollercoaster with so much on your mind. If they have asked you go to the scan tomorrow do please. When I held my little grandson in my arms at first I was afraid to love him but here I am six years later. So good things do happen hugs
And can i say sorry about your twin grandsons must of been so hard but congratulations on both your grandsons Aww that gives me some relief that i will get to see my first grandchild we find out if its a boy or girl tomorrow. I will go to the scan but i think like you did will i dare love this baby just got lots of negative thoughts going round and round in my head and i need to think positive. So pleased your here six years on . That gives me some hope i will be to.
Thankyou so much for your reply i feel a whole lot better when i hear some good news on here lifts my spirits so much
Do hope you are feeling much better soon. I know it is so hard not too worry but, how exciting to hear you have a grand child on the way.
Tracey you are not weak in the slightest, just human. It's fantastic you can be honest and open about your feelings. It's certainly the way I prefer to be and I will never change!
Sending you lots of good thoughts for you and your family.
I am feeling alot better thankyou and it is realky hard not to worry i have always worried about everything some people say i worry for England but that me i cant change .
Aww i feel so weak clare but i am so open and honest its the way ive always been . I know my first grandchild will find out tomorrow if its a boy or girl . Same here clare i wont every change thanks so much for your reply it really means alot
Seven years ago I thought that I would be lucky to live 3 months.I was so ill. My ca125 was 3000 and I had a tumour almost as big as my head,I ,I had the surgery and chemo in 2011 and in 2017 welcomed a grandson and great grandson in to the world,I have every intention of seeing these two boys reach their twentieth birthday.I am sure you will be fine,please don't let this spoil this special time,its not known yet if you have cancer and even if you do there is so much that can be done.try not to think too much about it tomorrow,good luck with your surgery, xx
Thanks so much for your reply and encouraging words . You really dont know how much i appreciate you and these amazing ladies who have taken time to respond to my post.
Can i say how happy i am to see your post and see your here gives me so much hope and congratulations on your grandson and great grandson . I like your outlook i need to start thinking positive like you the trouble is ive always been a negative person but its got to change . Your so right i should be concentrating on my unborn grandchild thats what ive got to do . Thanks i have my surgery 2 weeks tuesday i am used to going underthe knife as i had open surgery which they said was major gor a massive incarcerated hernia i looked 9 months pregnant than was January of this year . And 7 months in i get landed with this .
Sounds like you in that horrible interim period, between diagnosis & having a procedure, which I personally have found is the worst time mentally, as I found my imagination ran RIOT! I had a totally hysterectomy (everything went) 2 years ago & I found it wasn't too bad an operation (and was a lot easier than I had imagined I would be). While waiting for follow up chemo - I worried; not knowing what was to come. Try taking each day as it comes, enjoy EVERY day that you are with your children & grandchildren & don't waste your energy worrying about their graduation etc, just celebrate & live for the moment
Thankyou so much vhicky for your reply .thats the stage i am at surgery dosent worry me i had major surgery in january for a huge incarcerate hernia and had ct scan in may and was told in june i had a cyst so had a transvignal scan and c125 blood test done . I am having my surgery in 2 weeks two overies and fallopian tubes removed . Having i keyhole but i think i would rather have open and take everything. I havent no grandchildren yet this will be my first in December. But your right mentally i am a wreck glad to hear your surgery was a success.
Take care and thanks for the reply i will take everything on board
When I went to tell my son and his wife that I had Ovarian Cancer (3C), they counteracted my bad news with the fact that they were expecting their second child. My immediate reaction was ‘Well I’m not going to be meeting this one am I?’
Joe is now 15 months old and along with his brother Max are a joy to be with (as are my daughterks two children). Although I’m just starting chemo for my first recurrence, I am grateful for every day that I have with them. They give me the impetus to keep going and to stay strong.
We are all different in out approach to this disease, but I regularly post with problems which are quickly solved or put into perspective by the lovely folk on this forum. Do contact the helpline for support too.
Be kind to yourself - the waiting is hard, we all know that, but your low CA125 is a real positive. Good luck with your operation, best wishes, Ali x
Can i say first congratulations on all your grandchildren and so sorry you have had a recurrence but i am sure the chemo will kick the beast into touch sorry for my silly sayings ,i wish you alk the luck in the world with your chemotherapy. Yes i will give them a ring i think as sometimes my head feels as though its going to explode All the ladies on here are so nice and have some much strength its amazing i feel like i let the site down but i dont mean to i am just scared and i always have expressed my feelings rather than jeep them in .
Good luck and take care .
Thanks so much for your replyit means alot i feel so much better after chatting with you ladies .
Please don’t ever think that you are letting the site down - that’s why we are here - to support, help and show solidarity in the face of this disease. Most of us have been through what you are experiencing so we are the best people to help. Never hold your feelings in.
Its really nice to know there is people on here that take time to listen and i really appreciated your replys . I am one of those what as always said whats on my mind and i can never change that even in situations like this i cant bottle it up Take care Ali and thanks again
When I was told I had an 18cm tumour on my left ovary, I assumed I didn't have long to live. I think a lot of people think the worst. Now, 10 years later, I've had treatment, & I have further problems which are being treated, but I'm still alive & feeling reasonably well. During that time, my eldest grandson has reached 18 & hopes to go to uni in September. My younger daughter has married - I assumed I wouldn't live to see that happen - & she has since had 2 children. The youngest, my 5th grandchild is a little over 3 months old, & I met him 10 years after diagnosis. None of us know what the future holds, or how long we'll live, but please try not to give up hope, assume you will meet your grandchild. Someone has mentioned a support group in Essex. I go to one in Suffolk. There are a number of them in different parts of the country, so there may be one near you. I believe there is a list of some groups on the ovacome website. It's always sooo hard waiting for surgery & waiting to find out what's going on. Waiting is one of the worst things. But you can do it. Di
First can i say thankyou for your reply,and wow 10 years that really gives me alot of hope congratulations on all your grandchildren. And all the best for the future . I think i need to find a support group in my area i am from up north but i am sure there will be one .I am going to my sons and girlfriends scan today we find out if its team pink or team blue its took my mind off things and i have decided i am going nowhere soon ive got alot of livingto do so if it is the beast i will fight it all the way
Hello Tracey, my wife Suzanne goes to a gynae support group at the Maggies Centre in Newcastle (opposite the Northern Centre for Cancer Care). They meet at 11.00 on 2nd Tues of every month. You don't need to book, just turn up. Good luck with your surgery.
I felt like you Tracey but my grandson is now 17 months old and a new one being born next month and I'm down to deliver him. I worry he won't remember me at all but I'll remember him and all the happy moments we've spent together. As long as our grandchildren have happy, long lives I'll be happy. I didn't know my own grandparents and never met my birth mother and father. I've since met my sister. You never know what's round the corner.
Live each day and you'll soon find there are lots of them with happy memories.
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Update
Big decision to make!!
So far so good!
Bowel blockage 6 months post chemo
