Such An Amazing Group of Women!

[CynD]

I don't have much time today but I just had to take a minute to acknowledge the responses I got to my first post. What an amazing group of women! I responded individually to each of you but I don't see all my responses and it’s bothering me WAY more than it should. First, I’m pretty much one big open nerve at this point, but it was very important to me to give each of you the time you gave me. Time is no joke in cancerland, and I took a lot of mine to respond to every reply. When I didn’t see all of them show up I felt so defeated. It felt like the equivalent of sitting at the table with a bunch of friends but only speaking to some of them! It’s rude and it’s awkward. If any of you didn’t hear back from me after your reply to my initial post, my sincerest apologies. This wouldn’t be the first time technology failed me.

So… about here. I invited a friend who is 5 years out from endometrial cancer because it’s a place I know she will be able to appreciate, a place where she can contribute, and a place where she can interact with people from her planet! Here is bursting at the seams with honesty and the harsh realities of cancer. Within these posts are some of the most exquisitely beautiful and profoundly painful words I have ever read – heart affirming and heart breaking all in the same breath. I am so grateful to have here to come to, so honored to be a part of this family, and equally terrified to know the reason why.

Counting down the days to surgery. In my search for a roommate I encountered a crazy yesterday. When I decided not to rent to him he went off the deep end and texted some really terrible things to me: “I think you’re probably a bad person and that’s why God gave you cancer,” and “God sees all and it makes sense why he punished you!” There was more but I think you get the drift. I did manage to come back at him before filing a police report. I said, “You think God gave me cancer?! You think this is my Karma?! I think God gave me the kind of Karma that saved me from the likes of you!” He called and continued to text, and then he called and texted my friend Chelsea who’s been helping with the roommate search. It scares the living shit out of me that I came that close to having a psycho move into my home because I’m so desperate for money that ignored every red flag. This is the kind of guy that goes to Las Vegas and shoots at thousands of innocent people and thinks the ones that died had it coming. It was last thing I needed right now. Yesterday was really one for the books: potential roommate turns out to be a psycho, found a leak under the sink, never ate or drank a thing all day because every second was filled with BS and have-to’s, then I ended the day by getting into it with a “friend” that I’ve lost patience for. She is rife with stupid suggestions that she never thinks out before opening her mouth and I’m just sick of it. I was so riled by my day I never did go to sleep, and right about now I feel like I’m about to fall over! It’s like the punchline to that joke, “But other than that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?”

Ugh.

[Hidden]

Wow what can I say!

You had a lucky escape.

Ann Nora 🍀

[27-359]

Oh,!! What can I say. You had a dreadful day but it is over now. Take a deep breath and have no more correspondence with the psycho. Perhaps contact your friend and tell her about the day you had and suggest that perhaps you over reacted? We need all the friends we can get at this time.......Although to be honest I have dropped a couple as found I couldn't take any rubbish while dealing with cancer too!

Jenny

[Jessfrogg]

I can't stand it when a$$hole people try to blame karma or God on cancer. That doesn't have a thing to do with this mess. My sweet lady don't ever let anyone tell you that!! You did right by telling the physco off. I understand about the friend too cause I have been more stand off ish with the friends that are all about them and not listening or being encouraging to me. Be good to you. And we are hear to listen when you need it

[Mommoo65]

Gosh, your crazy, no good day is a great excuse to pamper yourself in any sweet, calming way you can. Funds are always low in my world and spa treatments or a weekend away to escape the crazies (or just all of the well meaning advice) is not anywhere near my wheelhouse.

So I draw a hot bubble bath and soak with a good book and blow bubbles at my cat. I ask my grandsons to massage my feet which usually ends up in a moisturizer mess and lots of giggles. I eat a candy bar.

The key is 'Don't let the bastards get you down'. And plenty of them come out of the woodwork when you are at your most vulnerable. You are fighting for your life, as we all are here. You have strength you never knew you had before. True friends support your decisions and hold you when you cry. Some people will fall by the wayside but if so, you don't need them in your life anyway.

Good luck on the roommate hunt. I had one once. Once. Lol

Huge hugs! Jill