Just catching up on other people's good news and I thought I would blog an update.
After my 4th round of chemo my CA125 leveled out and it was still quite high and I'd expressed several concerns about this during chemo that compared to other women that my levels didn't seem to be falling fast enough.
I decided not to have my 6th cycle of carboplatin and my consultant agreed with my decision. I had a CT scan on the 17 November and saw the consultant the following week. Basically the cancer hasn't changed its stayed the same so my CT scan isn't clear. I've read my CT report and there is cancer in my lymph nodes which I wasn't aware of. The report also refers to my liver and nodules in my left breast. The consultant said because I have a low grade tumour I could stay this way for years but I will need to be monitored. I'm having another CT scan in January and seeing the Consultant again in February.
Since being told my CA125 has leveled out my mood has been spiraling downwards. I feel sad about so many things not being able to have children, going through the menopause, not feeling very sexy and womanly and feelings that no one will love me or employ me with cancer.
I'm having to deal with a limited capability assessment for work as well and I'm expecting to be called in for interview in the New year. Just hoping they don't reduce my benefits too much I just about cope but I'm feeling under a lot of pressure to look for work when I'm just not ready yet.
I've been referred to the psycho-oncology team for counselling so I can work all this out in my head and develop some coping strategies. I had a chat with the mental health nurse on Monday as well and she asked me if I was looking forward to this year to be over and I said to her but it will never be over......