worried

Hi All,

Not been on for a bit but I have a question that I just can't stop thinking about. I was diagnosed with OC Grade 3b at the end of Feb 2017. I had major debulking surgery in the middle of March and my consultant told me that he had taken everything away (including my appendix) and that although the tumour had attached itself to my bowel he had managed to peel it off without damaging the bowel. I have now had 4 cycles of Paclitaxel/Carboplatin with 2 more to go. Thing is, I keep reading about people's cancer returning in different places and wonder if this could happen to me. My consultant says I should be ok but I'm worrying myself silly about this. Any advice, thoughts, comments. Hope you are all doing as well as you can be on this sunny Sunday.

June 27

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Everyone is so different and no two results are alike. I am at a conference with the OCRFA (Ovarian Cancer Research Fund Alliance) the biggest patient program/group for advocacy, raising money for research etc. Yesterday, at the start of the program, the moderator asked those who have survived one year to stand (me!), then 5 years, then 10 years, then 20 then 25 years. I cannot tell you how many people were still standing at "25" but it made me cry (happy tears). Some no relapses (the lady sitting next to me was diagnosed 3c in 2011 and has not had a relapse--same treatment as you--another lady has had two and worried about a third, but saying for today, she feels good and happy to be here). I think the focus needs to be on the here and now and that your healthcare team is watching you and you are in good hands. There are more treatments and better ones every day. Funny thing for me is I had no anxiety while being treated because the treatment was working and I was "doing something" but the minute it was complete, the anxiety went through the roof. I am working on that, and trying not to think about IF it is coming back as much (I an not having as much luck as I would like but taking a mindful meditation class starting Monday and keeping busy with other things--I think less about it when busy). As my friends and others who have been through it say---worrying does not change outcome so maybe you need to focus on the anxiety more than the "what ifs" (easier said than done for sure!!!!!). I completely understand!

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Thanks Maxjor. Some really good advice there. Think I am just feeling a bit sorry for myself at the moment. Just had 4th cycle last Monday and I tend to get the 'blues' during that week. I am really positive, and thankful most of the time and just need to keep telling myself I am 2/3rds of the way there.

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Hi Maxjor, very well put can't add anything else.

I would like to go to a mindful meditation. The ones I have done at home have made me more stressed so I have stopped doing them. Take care Cindyxx

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Hi june27, Maxjorhas totally nailed this. I can't add anything to what she's said, do try not to worry, big hugs & love ❤️ xx Jane

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Thanks for your replies. Just nice to know I'm not alone. X

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I completely agree with your worries. Last thurs I had my last chemo and am lethargic and feeling a bit down. I am now onto scan/onc meeting in the next two weeks. So nervous. I am now prob worried more as you almost feel proactive whilst having the chemo.

As the OC was in my lymph nodes I'm totally paranoid it will pop up in some remote bit of my body and will get missed by scans etc. I need to keep a cool head so really good to hear about all the ladies still battling. Thanks Maxjor! Please tell more about the conference.

Em x

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Good luck with the scan. I too found it hard when the chemo stopped and I was set free, I no longer knew where my bloods were at and I didn't know my CA125 levels. My weekly chemo routine had become my normal and suddenly I had no routine, it was scary but I got there and now only go for appointments every 6 months, I still have serious jitters each time before my check but it is what it is and we do adapt. Keep as well as you possibly can & take lots of care ❤️Xx Jane

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Good luck with the scan and onc. Keep us posted on your progress and stay positive, I'm sure it's half the battle we are all facing.

Jx

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Definitely agree that worry factor can play with your mind and be unhelpful to moving on after treatment finishes. If you can get busy again, get fit and get back to 'normal' or even try getting a better quality of life than you had pre cancer, as I find that less stress is the key to feeling better, then it does diminish the worry. I felt that negative stresses stuff in my life made me get cancer. Who knows! But stress less is preferable on so many levels. Judy being busy doing things you like as much as possible has to be good for you doesn't it?!

I am 3 years post treatment and feel great so worry less about recurrence now I'm happier

Does any of this make any sense?

Sending hugs and best wishes

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I had stage 3C, tumour attached to bowel, everything removed and the same chemo as you. My bowel is badly damaged but I still have it. I'm just over four years clear now so there is definitely hope for you. I live a normal life and do exactly what I want to do. I need help with laxatives to make sure I can go easily due to scar tissue damage but that's nothing.

Good luck with it all,

Best wishes, Zena x

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Hi,

I know exactly where you are coming from. I felt very weak and emotional after my 4th chemo. You just want someone to say you will be fine and it will never return but no none knows that and it is really hard. BUT there are so many women surviving and living full productive lives. I had OC in both ovaries and had spread to omentum and lymph nodes. Finished chemo at the end of Feb this year and am now back at work albeit reduced hours. I telephoned my oncologist because I have had a niggling pain and worried that it is back. She reassured me and said she would be very surprised and to try and focus on living and to ask my doc for a CA125 blood test to put my mind at rest. It is normal for you to worry as do I but try not to focus all your energy on it returning instead focus on getting better and back to hair and health. xxxx

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We all feel this way and all you can do is live your life as though the cancer will not come back. Try not to put things off 'just in case' and as many of the things that you really enjoy as possible.

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Thanks to all you lovely ladies who replied. It really is good to know that I am not unique in my worries. We all have our own private thoughts which can be good or bad in the darker days but I am now 1 week post 4th chemo and am starting to feel a bit better and suddenly life is good again - well relatively. You've all got me feeling much more positive. Good luck to all of you in this fight. Hugs & kisses xx

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My advice is to treat this beast as a friend that never goes away and shows up when it feels like it anywhere in your body! They have come a long way with treatment so p.ease try not to worry I feel you will be fine ! Worrying will have a negative effect on your immune system and you certainly do not want that, also if you can take 10 minutes out of your day and listen to meditation or spa music - believe me it,works wonders - as does looking at nature and taking walks!

Prayers your way!

Pat 🙏💕🇺🇸

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Your reply did make me giggle! Sound advice, though...

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oh good laughter is the best medicine! 👍💕

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Thanks ladies, I am taking all your comments onboard.

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