Firstly, I wanted to say that I don't want to look like one of *those* husbands who panics at every ache and pain post treatment.
But I might be!
So, we're now three months on from a big op and six or seven weeks away from the last chemo.
My wife had/has germ cell ovarian cancer- and we're four weeks away from an op where the surgeon "wants a look around and will remove anything dodgy".
My wifes blood markers were all in the normal range last time they were checked (about three or four weeks ago I think), and the surgeon said she's confident the chemo has worked. A specialist nurse also told me that if nothing is found on the exploratory op then shes on "follow up".
On the face of it- all fantastic news!
But....my wife has been suffering from stomach cramps, and last night while trying on holiday clothes, she said he stomach was feeling a bit swollen and tender to touch.
So....back on worry mode again now! She's not. She's not massively concerned and said even IF there is anything dodgy going on, she's having an op in 4 weeks time. (I think women are made of stronger stuff quite frankly). So, she doesn't want to speak to anyone about it (we're taking the kids abroad in a week ).
Am I over-reacting? Anyone else have these symptoms after chemo? I appreciate her stomach area has been battered from pillar to post with surgery and chemo and what-not....suppose it might be normal even this far out from chemo?
Written by
lesrouge
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I think that due to your wife having such a rare type, she's had different chemo and treatment plan to most of us? There may be additional side-effects etc
What I can reassure you, is that it's quite normal to be hyper- vigilant and concerned by every ache, pain, possible symptom at this point in time.
There are other non-cancer causes of tenderness & cramping. Perhaps the thing to do is just keep an eye on if the symptoms become more intense & with increasing regularity?
Post treatment there are some side effects that can become more/less intense eg neuropathy (chemo), adhesion pains (surgery). I had a period of occasional cramping spasms caused by adhesions 18m-2 years after surgery. They were really painful!
It may be easier for the person experiencing the pain (regardless of gender) to guage how significant / urgent it is to investigate.
I think I might perhaps relate to your wife's response though. Having got through the diagnosis, surgery and chemo to get such great news as normal markers and with exploratory surgery booked for four weeks time, I would be very resistant to entertaining anything that might broach this really important time together (normal levels & not having treatment) and no doubt much-needed family holiday unnecessarily.
I used to set my sights on certain points ahead and then all my energy and focus would be to get to that point, and to then reassess, plan, gather my energies and aim for another point ahead.
We all have really different ways of coping and managing. Be kind to yourself- you're concerned and asking completely reasonable questions!
Wishing you both hope & strength. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, Sx
Thank you. I REALLY try my best not to "baby-fy" her really. I want our relationship to go back to Husband and Wife rather than "care giver and patient".
But, I'm the worrier and she's not! Typical!
Does drive me slightly mental that she won't give someone a quick call about it. But, she's probably right- why waste energy worrying I suppose. If there IS a problem (however unlikely in actual fact) she's having a surgeon look at her in a few weeks anyway.
This b****y disease affects partners just as much as those they love but in some ways differently and harder. I know my partner would smile and nod knowingly at your comment (he's away with work!). Relationships do readjust and settle, though take time- beer, sun can surely help most things!
We had a holiday in Islay at the end of my treatment, so more whisky than beer! It took a little determination but we had resolved to leave thoughts and talk of what had happened and what future scan results might bring behind us and was a really special time when as you say, we were able to feel more 'like us'!
Take good care of you, Sx
We are all so grateful to have lovely worriers like you!
I'm afraid worrying becomes the new normal once you've gone through the OC mill. I would probably take your wife's approach and enjoy the free time before the next op.
Perhaps also worth bearing in mind that surgery leaves sensitivities which we didn't have before. Damage to nerves; scar tissue; not to mention fiddling around with internal organs like bowels which do not like being handled. This isn't something they tell you about. I have tender to touch pain from various surgeries over the last 8 years in different places. I've learned to live with them, most of the time at least.
Wishing you a lovely break with the grandchildren. x
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