So after 7 years it's got down and dirty. Not content with creeping back twice already (but at least having the decency to give me intervals of three and two years) this time the OC has left it a mere six months to come back - and not even creeping this time. Galloping, more like.
So it wasn't wind or IBS that caused me to have stomach ache every time I ate. It was a 4.5 cm tumour partially blocking the exit from my stomach. This being the largest of several tumours/enlarged lymph nodes which have added to the niggly back and abdominal pains I've been getting since just before Christmas.
I will be back on Carboplatin in a couple of weeks and my Onc is applying for Avastin which he seems confident of getting. I pleaded with him to tell me I will survive long enough to see my elder daughter married in 2013, but he side-stepped that question, as I knew he would. Nobody ever really knows, so I am just going to assume that not only will I still be around for the wedding, just maybe I may get to see my daughter's first baby as well. please God.
For now I am cross. Very.
Written by
PatsyH
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Go kick it in the b#lls! Choose the wedding hat. Please feel free to ignore - but can I ask if you are being treated with the NHS? I am interested to hear that you have been offered Avastin.
Love Lizzie
X
Hi Patsy
What a bummer!! But you've beaten it before and you can do it again. Just keep thinking about that wedding. Good luck with the treatment.
Love and Hugs
ChrisR x
Hi Patsy,
Not what you wanted in the new year. Stay positive and focused. I've now had my 40th wa,my 60th birthday and a new grandaughter (not that I've had a cuddle yet as she is in LA and I can't fly) that I wasn't expecting to be here for. Take all the help you can get (my local support group are fantastic, especially for reflexology etc and activities) and eat healthily, without being a fanatic.
You have got lots of great reasons to put up with yet more treatment - its still a bugger though. I've got lots of tumours too but I try not to think about it! Don't be too hard on yourself if your spirit flags at some point. It happens to the best of us and I hope you can lean on your family a bit.
We'll all be keen to hear if you get the Avastin and what its like.
Thank you all for your lovely responses. If we start a Rant Club (thanks for that idea Fiona) bagsy I be president on account of I can swear like a trooper when the situation calls for it!
I am being treated on the brilliant NHS Lizzie and am in East Kent. My first response when my onc mentioned Avastin was to say I thought it was nigh-on impossible to get. But he seemed confident that permission would be granted although it may take a while to come through. He warned me that the drug can cause high blood pressure, so I may have to take tablets for that, and also there is a low risk of a perforated intestine which involves a rush to hospital. I dont care what it does so long as it gives the cancer a hefty whack and buys me more time.
I think it will be February before my treatment starts, after my pre-chemo kidney function blood test on 24th Jan. I will definitely let you all know how it goes, especially if and when I get the Avastin.
Amen to that sister!!! BBFC and many times over again and again...turn that anger into energy and give it a good kicking!!!
julesxxx
Hey Patsy you,ve kicked its arse before Now you can do it again !! You go girl and beat this bloody disease once and for all. Will keep you in my prayers and thoughts and all of us with oc Healing hugs and love Lynn XX
A rant club sounds a great idea. I can swear like a trooper too when needed. I am sure it's the feistiness that keeps us going. Stay mad as hell - the emotions are going in the right direction. I've sometimes drawn a cancer cell and stuck pins in it! Try it, it really helps!
And, yes get the hat for the wedding and think of names for the first Grandchild
You rant and rave as hard as you can, girl! I can only echo what the other girls have said, buy the hat, choose the name and kick the bast*** to hell and back
Thanks so much Wendy and everyone else. It's been really heartening getting all your responses and to know that there are lots of decidedly unladylike mutterings doing the rounds among us. I reckon the BBFC Rant Club is already up and running under its own steam, so here's to all it's fantastic members. Rock on girls! xxx
Great club! How are you doing? I have just referred someone to this blog. Think it shows a real positive attitude and great sense of fun. I think you have had the imagination to put into words what many of us feel! Hope the hat-hunting is going well
two weeks ago, and after whizzing about high on steroids the following day, I then spent most of the weekend in my dressing gown in a reclining chair being a total slob. And pissed off. And with all sorts of niggly pains which kept me awake at night, for which my lovely GP has prescribed Zomorph slow-release capsules. So now, apart from the occasional sharp pain in my side, I can more or less forget that I have this FC and I have got positively blase about sticking a spring-loaded needle into the flesh (ample) around my stomach. One jab a day for 5 days to boost my bone marrow. So I hope there wont be any delays for my second lot of chemo next week. They say it doesn't make any difference to the efficacy of the treatment if there is longer than three weeks between each session, but I confess to not entirely believing that.
I have decided to look into a 7 day holiday in Morocco later in the year, although I wont book anything yet and would need to check with my onc. Looking on line I have found a stunning kasbah perched on the side of a rocky outcrop in the Atlas Mountains. Another world, yet only a 4- 5 hour flight away. It may come to nothing - along with the exotic location may also come exotic germs and viruses which I deffo dont want to encounter!
But it's nice to dream - and maybe make it a reality.
As you can tell, I'm not in a ranting mood today. This may well be thanks to the Zomorph which engenders a certain waffly floatiness to the proceedings, not to mention numerous 'crafty' moments, as in Cant Remember A F****** Thing.
You're remembering the important things .... to dream of better times and plan treats to look forward to. Hope the holiday in Morocco works out. It sounds wonderful.
Can I join this club? You sound fiesty enough to kick this ****** into touch again and fron your attitude it seems you will definitely be meeting your grandchild!
Welcome to the BBFC Rant Club and feel free to let rip! Doing so doesn't half make one feel better! It seems to me, looking at your other blogs, that you've had very similar treatment to me and have just finished Carbo/taxol which worked well for me twice. Have you had a scan since the end of chemo?
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