Feeling sad

[Bettyboop1013]

Hi ladies, I had a total hysterectomy due to endometrial cancer on February 15 2012. I am under so much stress at Home and now at My new job. My abdomen never healed and My pain never went away, I had a cat scan last June and I was OK now I am due again and I am so scared that it could come back maybe somewhere else. I also have to get a lap every 3 months for the next 4 years to be totally cancer free for good. My stress level is very high and My anxiety is getting worse, and I don't have anyone that has been through this so please can somebody help ease My anxiety.

[Hidden]

I'm sorry you're feeling low. I was wondering if the cancer was found to be contained at the time of your hysterectomy? Also, I was wondering what you mean by your abdomen not being healed? Do you mean the operation scar? I've had a lot of operations on my abdomen and my experience has been that it takes about a year to recover from major surgery despite the fact that doctors (being employers of the government effectively) try to get a patient back to work within 6 weeks or less these days. I don't think everyone is ready for work within that timescale. I certainly wasn't and have had two hernias which I feel were caused by having to carry things in front of me as part of my job. I think it's natural to worry about cancer returning. Maybe going to see your GP would help? At least you could talk through your symptoms and get a physical examination. I'm not sure what a lap is, but it's brilliant that your cancer seems to be curable. When I had chemo, I had a partial reduction, but it's starting to grow again.Having cancer is a stressful experience but people here have helped me through it so far. Like you, I feel a real need for the company of others who have been or are going through the same thing. I've also developed coping strategies like taking up patchwork quilting even though I've never got past the cutting stage and have a massive bag of bits and pieces and nothing else! I've also taken up sowing seeds. I think it's ironic that at a time I feel least alive, watching things grow all sturdy and healthy has become fascinating to me. I do find it difficult remembering things which is as a result of chemo and I get a lot of pain. Constant tiredness is a difficulty too and I think this is exacerbated by feeling very down some of the time. I tend to do things in little stages to help me to manage the pain. For me, as time has gone on and despite knowing that the prognosis isn't good in my case, the anxiety factor has dropped. I never thought this would happen but I've since heard it's a common experience. All good wishes are sent to you from me. x

[Bettyboop1013 in reply to Hidden]

TinaB, thank you for getting back to Me, My cancer was stage 1 grade 2 so it was caught in time and I didn't need any treatment just the every 3 month pap and the catscan every yrear. The GP down here in Florida don't talk to you about those things they said I have to talk to the oncology GYN. It's good that you can find somethings to help you relax, I had anxiety for 32 years so this only made it worse. L hope everything turns out the best for you, take care and please keep in touch xoxo

[Hidden]

Hi Bettyboop,

It is still early days for you... it does take a long time to get over what you've been through, I attend a cancer support group and a lady there had endometrial cancer about four years ago and she is doing very well...I know everyone is different but endometrial cancer has a better success rate than ovarian cancer (even though it is similar) so I hope you will take strength from this... but I know it is easier said than done it is so hard not to worry and it does leave a cloud over your life and harder still if you don't know anyone else with the same type of cancer...other people don't seem to understand you have come to the right place for support we all feel and understand what you are going through.. sending you my best wishes and thinking and praying for you love x G x

[Bettyboop1013 in reply to Hidden]

Gwyn, hope all is well with you today, you are lucky that you found a support group I looked but I couldn't find any and I feel so alone in My thoughts but now I have you guys and now I can talk freely to people that know how I feel. Thank you for the best wishes and the pep talk, take care and hope to hear from you soon.

[Hidden in reply to Bettyboop1013]

Hi Bettyboop,

I didn't actually find a support group for three years.... I was actually on a recurrence of ovarian cancer when I met a lady that introduced me to one, it is a Christian cancer support group (run by Anglican nuns)...it is actully one of the nuns that had endometrial cancer she is in her forties and she is now very well...the group is a support for all cancers (the lady that had ovarian cancer has since died) so I am alone in the sense that I don't know anyone personally with OC this site is such a good support as we are people going through the same... because even other people with a different cancer somehow have a different experience... it helps enormously to know someone with the same type of cancer..thinking of you love x G x

[Whippit]

Dear BettyBoop

You've come to the right place to make friends and get support in dealing with your diagnosis of endometrial cancer. You might also want to ask the hospital if there is a support group in your local area as this can help by sharing your experiences and meeting women who become close friends.

I'm sorry to hear you continue to have abdominal pains. I was told to do absolutely nothing for 6 weeks after a radical hysterectomy and followed that advice. I also took 6 months off work and I know I wasn't ready to return just 6 weeks after surgery as there are a lot of other things to think about with a cancer diagnosis.

I wonder whether you haven't had enough time to reflect on your situation and deal with the questions that crop up from that reflection. It may be helpful to see a counsellor who will help you organise and sort your thoughts and turn the negative worries into positive goals. I certainly think you should not put up with a home and work life that is stressful and makes you anxious. At the end of the day we all have choices. We might not like those choices but they are options nontheless and in actively choosing an option we reduce the feeling of being disempowered.

Please do start to put all these thoughts in order so you can tackle the problems. Keep posting if it helps. We're here for you.

love Annie xx

[Bettyboop1013 in reply to Whippit]

Annie, you are so right and the first person that realized that I didn't come to terms with My diagnosis and all I really talk about is the surgery but not why I had it. I only think about it on the 3rd month when I have to go for My pap smear. And I am so scared to talk and think about it that I keep it all bottled up inside. Thank you for caring enough to notice <3. Lots of love

[Whippit in reply to Bettyboop1013]

Dear Bettyboop

I'm so glad if you think it was a helpful post. It's never good to bottle things up but when you do talk you need to have it structured or else you will go off into orbit dealing with all the worries that are outed by talking.

Years ago when I was having a particularly difficult time and could only look back with regret my friend came round with a cutting from a magazine. It was a little red heart with the words, 'This is the start of the rest of my life'. They were the wisest words I ever read and it's good to recollect each morning that we're on the threshold of a new and better life.

Loads of love xxx Annie

[angelina]

Hi, I had surgery 30th nov 2011 and started chemo jan 2012....I can relate to what

you are going through at the moment. I think it takes much much longer than we

expect for our operation area to heal. My scar area took such a long time to stop

feeling sore and only last week I repotted a few plants and the bending over really

made my stomach hurt afterwards. I have lots of tummy troubles but my CA125 is

stable...not that I had a high count when I was diagnosed with OC but my Oncologist

reassures me everything is ok and it takes a long time for everything to settled down.

There is alway a niggly thought at the back of my mind that something isn't right but

as some of our friends have mentioned it takes time to get over our experiences of

having cancer. If you are feeling constantly depressed please go and see your GP.

I have battled with depression since finishing chemo and have finally had to seek help.

I have had counselling at the Mcmillan centre and also I'm taking antidepressants which

I didn't really want to take but they have been a big help.

Sending you my best wishes

Love Angie xx

[Bettyboop1013 in reply to angelina]

Angelina, it's nice to hear that you have been cancer free for 1 1/2 years good for you !. Most of My depression comes from the fact that My abdomen still hurts even to press on it but they can't tell Me why, all I know is that I had a lot of scar tissue on My left side (it only hurts on My left) and that My bowels were stuck to the wall of My left side so that's what I keep telling myself is the reason. I 'm happy that you have somebody to talk to and I have been on valium for 30 years now and My anxiety comes and goes, I guess I never thought of it as depression until after My surgery. I hope you continue to get better everyday, hope to talk to you soon xoxo

[Lizneild]

I believe it is very common to have anxiety/depression after the immediate treatment is over. I had extreme anxiety and made an appointment to see a psychiatrist on the NHS. However by the time I saw her several months later I was coming out of it. My GP had prescribed citalopram which seemed to help. A year later I am still taking it but thinking of lowering the dose. I also had an exercise I called "operation bootstrap". Every day I set myself a small but achievable task beginning with something tiny like putting flowers on the table. And so week by week in small increments I built up a sense of can do again. The secret was never to set myself something I couldn't do and never not to do it. Everything is easier now. I can take joy in little things again but I remember those dark days and feel for you. We are with you here.

This site is full of friends. Best wishes for brighter days, Liz

[Bettyboop1013 in reply to Lizneild]

Lizneild, I really like how you coped with your feelings and I never thought of that idea, but thanks to you I'm going to try it, maybe I needed to take small steps instead of trying to run. So it's good to hear that your doing well, I didn't have to get any treatment I have to go every 3 months to the oncology GYN for a pap to make sure it didn't come back I did the first year so 4 more to go them maybe I can breath again. Thank you again for your kind words and keep up with your goals, hope to talk to you soon, HUGS TO YOU