Feel I've got not where to turn..: On friday I... - OCD Support

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Feel I've got not where to turn..

Blue42 profile image
7 Replies

On friday I phoned and spoke to the lady in charge where my daughter has her counselling and told them how concerned I am about her state of mind and her behaviour. She assured me that she would ring our GP the on Monday an express how urgent the situation is.

She rang and no one rang her back. So she said she'd ring again today.

It feels like nobody's listening. Where do I go from here ? I had such high hopes that something was finally going to happen.....but I'm still behind the stating blocks with no where to turn.

Mean while I told my daughter that I wanted to go out on Friday for about 4 hours. After lots of angry exchanges I told her to discuss it with her counsellor as I feel I'm not being unreasonable. She claims the counsellor was on her side and I've just got to put up with it as its in my daughter's best interest to do as she says.

I dont believe she would have agreed with her. Surely my mental well being is just as important as her's. I've already uped my antidepressants. Am I just ment to carry on and hope for the best? Is that all I've got to look forward to?

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Sallyskins profile image
Sallyskins

I did hope that you might have some better news. Perhaps it will take a few days, though I can understand that you are impatient for progress. The GP may just be busy.

I don't believe for one moment that the counsellor said that you have to do what your daughter says because it's in her best interests. It clearly isn't, and it isn't doing either you or your daughter much good. Patients often claim that their doctor, counsellor or therapist says they can do something when in fact they haven't.

Give it a few days, if necessary prompting the GP yourself. And make sure you take the opportunity to go out on Friday. Don't bottle it or compromise.

A programme on Radio 4 earlier today, called 'Storm and Stress, about mental health in young people, talked to some girls who had been sectioned. They hadn't liked being sectioned, and protested vigorously but actually found the hospital a safe space and that it was in their best interests. They made friends and actually valued their hospital stay. It might be worth listening to it on the website as it could reassure you that hospital is the best option for your daughter and could do her some good.

Blue42 profile image
Blue42 in reply to Sallyskins

Thank uou for your reply.

I can't actually see me being able to go anywhere on Friday to be honest.

I was thinking if phoning the GP myself if I've not heard anything by tomorrow. I've already expressed to them my feelings that hospital is the best place for her.

I just feel that I've loosing my glimmer at the end of the very long tunnel x

Sallyskins profile image
Sallyskins in reply to Blue42

Do phone them, and make sure that they know the counsellor is concerned. Things must feel so bad at the moment, that you just want something doing immediately. It should be done immediately, but things don't always move as quickly as you want them to, particularly in our over-stretched NHS!

But don't give up, or feel you are making a nuisance of yourself. This is a case where two people's lives are miserable, and the doctors need to act.

It's a pity but when people need action most, they are feeling at their lowest and being persistent is a drain on their energy. But keep at it.

Blue42 profile image
Blue42 in reply to Sallyskins

Thank you x

Just want to hug you and say I care. You're in a tough spot. I've gone through tuff times I held my x husband always being home ( so to speak ) when I went through a trauma. I was not able to be alone some days. Eventually I improved with therapy a couple times a week ( it's needed when not coping ) & medication.

It's true it's not fair what's going on to you. It's slow. I don't know all of your details but it seems she is so far from being ready to be out of care. Is care in hospital not useful? You should be allowed to leave sometimes. Or have someone there instead or drop her off somewhere if she can't deal.

Part of anxiety is planning. A calendar might be useful a visual schedule to know what's coming up for her & you. You can even include free time scheduled. She has to adhere to it as well be sure to use something you can erase for rescheduling. You DO not have to live by her demands. Let her explode sometimes just acknowledge. Assure her she's doing better.

I so feel for you. You're not alone. You need to take care of you too and if the situation does not improve & you're hoping your pills doesn't work. You have to relent more intervention. Hang in. No guilt you have to set boundaries to care for yourself and her.

Blue42 profile image
Blue42 in reply to

Thank you for your support.

She has told me today that she is

hoping to moving out with her partner in 8-12 weeks. I hope she does as it will give us the time apart from each other that I think we both need. Fingers crossed x

in reply to Blue42

Her partner? Well if she's managing that hope it works out. Seriously good relief for you. Try to preparer her for times you have plans on calendar ahead of time maybe she can make " plans" around you lol. Awesome !!

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