My daughter as mentioned before has a snot and bogie nose touching ocd and she saw me touch
My nose this morning went into sheer panic had a major panic attack told me
Not to talk to her that she hated me and looked like was having a breakdown - does ocd really cause this amount of distress she told me I have ruined her life and she wants to go to sleep and never wake up - please someone help, I can’t do anything right or anything that will help
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
Hi Bunchy
That sounds extremely stressful - I’m sorry.
In answer to your question - yes OCD does cause that much distress but it doesn’t have to and certainly can become a manageable disease as part of a very fulfilling and happy life.
I know you don’t know right now exactly how to manage this but I think you need to let your daughter know that you have got this and you are going to find a solution and she is safe with you.
Tell her that mum/dad (sorry, you didn’t specify) is going to find her help and this won’t last forever. Tell her that you will find a solution and that she needs to trust you. Let her know that mummies/daddies/parents don’t always have the answers straight away but they are good at finding them and that’s what you’re going to do. Tell her that you know she is very scared but remind her that she is a good person and that right now her brain is just being very horrible to her and telling her lots of things that just aren’t true. Let her know that there are hundreds of other people like her who have the most awful upsetting thoughts but it’s because of the disease, and nothing to do with her. Remind her she is a good person.
Try to encourage her to do some meditation (free Headspace app maybe) or measured breathing if she can. If not then encourage exercise - jumping jacks etc during panic attacks. The body goes into fight or flight and exercising uses up the adrenaline.
Now - I think you need to address head on what she’s saying about wanting to never wake up. I’m sure this is just her way of expressing how dreadful she feels so please don’t be too alarmed by the following but as we always need to be serious about these things: you do need to acknowledge what she’s said about not wanting to wake up and ask her if she is planning to hurt herself and if so, how she is planning to do it. If she says she is planning to and tells you a plan - you need to ask her to hold off and you need to call your local mental health crisis team or ambulance ASAP. I’m sure she will say she isn’t planning anything but you must make her promise to tell you if that changes and that she will hold off on doing anything until you can help. I know it’s a scary thing to talk about but you need to be prepared just in case. But I imagine she is likely just having the most horrible time of it and doesn’t know how to stop it.
Meanwhile, you should go on OCD UK and read through their support pages for both you and for your daughter. It’s a very difficult and misunderstood illness so please look over their site, encourage your daughter to as well and learn learn learn as much as you can. It isn’t all about “hand washing” as the media would have you think.
You need to find a therapist that deals specifically in OCD (perhaps look into Skype/telephone sessions with Robert Bray of ocdrecovery.com). You also need to phone the GP as they may recommend prescribing something like an SSRI to help with the ocd (she’s very young though so I’m not sure what the medical call on this would be).
Please know you are doing the right thing just being here and asking for help. You are a good parent and I imagine anything she is saying about you being unhelpful is just lashing out because she is a very frightened little girl. I am 30 years old and OCD can still frighten me when I’m in a bad spell, so I can’t imagine how she must be feeling, it’s a scary disease. However it can get better (it certainly has for me and with treatment and time - we learn how to manage it well).
Reassure her that nothing she tells you will shock you (and be prepared to be accepting and loving if she does share any horrid thoughts because it is the OCD thinking them and planting them in her head and making her think she thinks those horrid things.) Research OCD as much as you can on official sites and arm yourself with knowledge.
You got this. Let us know how you get on. XxX
Hello thanks for your reply.
We have seen
A couple of
Counsellors and a clinica
Psychologist who had a bogie up her nose which is one of my daughter triggers, she jd a
Major
Panic attack we has to leave within 10 minutes and then throw our clothes in bin bags and shower and clean everything incase a bogie has got onto us anywhere !! Her bedroom is her sage space and for last 6 weeks no one can go in,
She has an area of living room that is full
Of all sorts and she doesn’t
Mind if bits
Of her food or anything is there as long as myself
My husband or older daughter doesn’t go anywhere near it or even
If we stand 2 metres away she will
Convince herself we have nose breathed
On her or her stuff and she has to wash
Hands hair etc - she says she is alone all of the time
And no one likes her , we have all been doing everything to help
Her but when
She get into a state she doesn’t listen to anyone and I say
Breathe etc and she just says no no no no no just go away
Leave me
Leave me alone but the m
Later tells
Me
I’ve left her when she
Needed me and she has
No one. It is so hard, it actually feels
Like she wouldn’t care if
We weren’t here as then no one could
Nose breathe have
Bogies or touch their nose. I have booked for her to do a Skype intensive course with the ocd treatment centre, it has will take o it savings bit we are so worried and CAMHs have postponed teice
Now and are no help
When I call them when she is having a panic attack. It also seems like she doesn’t want to help
Herself - she watches tv all day, can’t get her out in the garden, Ive sent her lots of apps to try including headspace and happily but don’t think she has even
Looked at them. I have bought book after book which she doesn’t read and I have researched and researched but she says no one has the same
As me I dot care about getting ill or germs I just don’t
Like it and when you touch your nose and touch everything else it’s all dirty.
I just hope the Skype intensive helps her as it is all of our savings and I just hope she can do the full week and
It gives her and us hope for the future.
Many thanks
Hi! I’m so sorry your daughter is experiencing this. And I’m sorry you are having to go through it. It’s is very stressful on everyone involved.
I am almost 35, been dealing with OCD since I was very young. Mostly intrusive sexual thoughts, although it has changed over time. Not it deals with my spouse and worried about what he’s doing all of the time. Trust me when I say that it has taken a toll on my almost 13 year marriage and my 3 small kids.
She needs to get help now. 14 is already a difficult age and one where OCD can really ramp
Up just because of hormones and changes in general. One thing my parents did was to not give in to my anxiety. I wasn’t diagnosed until adulthood, so they had no idea what was happening. They felt for me and were supportive, but they also showed tough love and wouldn’t allow my obsessions to take over their lives. It helps. As much as you want to do things for her and reassure her, that will only exacerbate the issue and create problems in the long run.
She needs to see a specialist. Exposure response therapy is great for this type of obsession.
Hope she feels better soon! Hang in there mom.
Thank you for your reply. It truly Is a horrid greedy disease and I can’t believe how much of her it
Consumes. Have you had intensive Skype therapy before, just wondered if it is better than weekly sessions that didn’t seem to be helping her xxxx we are not allowed to stand anywhere near her, be a th near her she gets affixed and not very nice and every suggestion we make she say no it doesn’t work for me, basically we do everything we can and she doesn’t care. She
Moans if we go into the living room as one side is where she has all of her stuff and she means that everything g gets contaminated by us yet her area has empty water bottles, make up, wrappers, it’s truly disgusting but I am afraid to move it because she goes completely
Mad. I actually feel like I am going mad, if we make a
Noise in our throats we have breathed all over her, have to not breathe when we walk past her - it’s is like living in a nightmare and on egg shells, I know she must be frightened and it breaks my heart to see her like it especially as she really doesn’t care about us anymore or how it is ripping us all apart
Gosh I’m so sorry.
I haven’t personally had Skype therapy. I would think it would help though! She’s going to have to do some tough things to get through this. You shouldn’t have to walk on egg shells in your own home. That will probably be part of the therapy if I had to guess, you will just ignore her requests to make you and your family accommodate this disorder.
The ability to reply to this post has been turned off.
Ocd sexual thoughts about other people
A thought 
Big girl pants on!!
OCD and trauma