Fed up of arguments: I'm sick of always being in the... - OCD-UK

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Fed up of arguments

Blue42
Blue42

I'm sick of always being in the wrong. My daughter is being vile to me again. She's been vile towards me and causing arguments for 4 hours now. I'm not aloud to be unset or try to get her to see her OCD is affecting her and she is being unreasonable as she says I'm the one causing it and I'm being selfish and only thinking of myself and how it affects me. Can't wait for her to just move out. Ive had enough. Her emotional blackmail is wearing thin. I feel like im falling apart.😣

13 Replies
Hidden
Hidden

I'm really sorry to hear that your daughter is being vile again. Of course you are also allowed to get upset, its only natural.. you are only human.

You are "not the cause of your daughters OCD " take it from me . x

Although your daughter might feel that way because tshe has no controll over it "which is nobodys fault" believe me. x

thats how she would perceive it, as her OCD is so strong and demanding , it's obviously took over the household.

You are not selfish far from it and neither is your daughter. x

You both have to think of "everyone at home " and how her OCD is affevting the whole family.

I am not surprised that you've had enough ., because have been and are still in the same position we have had a lot of arguments too.

so I can totally understand where you are both coming from. I reaaly do feel it for you and family.. xx

Blue42
Blue42 in reply to Hidden

Thank you xx

The only people in my house hold is me, her and her boyfriend. He's either at work or put the house until she tells him he can come home. He is always on her side which is why I feel all alone. I take the brunt of it all xx

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Blue42

Well... nobody should take tje brunt of it.. x

maybe when he does come home ,is it possible for you to explain to him how you feel , also ask him how he feels being dictated at to by her OCD ? I wonder if that would help at all? x

Blue42
Blue42 in reply to Hidden

I would explain to him if I thought he would listen. I've tried talking eith him in the past and it just makes matters worse. He blames me for everything and won'teven look me in the eyes while Italk to him and then he only grunts at me. I've not bothered if he's not spoken to me in the past as he's my daughter's boyfriend and they are suited. He will do anything she says. Even stopping out of the house for 18 hours, because she 'needs' him to. He will do anything she asks him to do as he doesn't want her to go in hospital. I'm fighting a losing battle where no one wins and she will end up there anyway. X

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Blue42

I'm sorry to hear that he has not

ever listened to you in the past which I dont think is faif at all.

Its absolutely terrible that he gives you all the blame and has no considerarion for you or even sympathize with you

. x

I understand that he is your daughters boyfriend and I am pleased they are suited thats good. x

Are you and your daughter still housebound? If she allows her boyfriend to go out and sop out for up to 18 hours ...

then why are you not allowed to go out? I can see where he is coming from doing everything her OCD demands him to, It must restrict hos life too

Maybe he could explain to her how her OCD is affecting you and him and nobody can live a life like that.

he is trying to save her from having to go into hospital which is the last thing any of us want to do isnt it?

Its horrible being in a lising battle where nobody wins because I have been there myself.

Thinking of you and your daughter. x x x

Blue42
Blue42 in reply to Hidden

Thank you x

I am allowed out to go to the local asda to buy soap for her as i am the least contaminated out of me and her boyfriend. But she's the only one who can buy her own food. He has complained to her that he has no life but she just turns it back on him and tells him how much worse her life is than hers. Neither of them take responsibility for how she is now.

I am not allowed out the whole atmosphere out side other to get her soap as the whole atmosphere outside is contaminated and she can't see where I am or out what I'm doing. X

Hidden
Hidden

I certainly hope not. I wonder if it eas possible that she went in voluntarily because at least they would find out what else was the matter and maybe get to the root of it all , also to assess her needs and make anothet diagnosis.

It simply isn't fair on you the way she is behaving. There is nothing selfish about wanting something for yourself, for wanting your own welfare to be taken into consideration, and for wanting a life outside her OCD.

She has kept her boyfriend onside while the pair of them live in your house. Her condition sounds so extreme that she really does need professional help, and if she won't accept it then it may have to be forced on her.

Start living the way that is best for you, and tell her that she can like it, put up with it or leave. Don't bluff. If she goes on this way, then it is you who will be in hospital and she will be forced to take care of herself. x x x

Hidden
Hidden

Well I feel that she could go into hospital voluntarily , or move out with her boyfriend as a couple get a place of their own. x

Blue42
Blue42 in reply to Hidden

She has been talking about getting a place with her boyfriend. I don't know how practical that will be or if she will even go. She has also talked briefly about going in hospital voluntary. Bit won't discuss it further x

That's great thanks x

The more you tell me about your daughter the more I think that she needs to be hospitalized. Her OCD is not going to get better of its own accord, and it is running not just her life, but yours and her boyfriend's as well.

Even if she would be willing to make a big effort herself, in a case like this intensive professional treatment is really necessary.

I know how she feels about going into a unit. I spent four months in hospital, and was very reluctant to go in. Once I got there I found that the treatment was helpful and I actually enjoyed being there for the most part.

Perhaps best not to discuss it with her if it pushes all her buttons. Stick to what you said about her leaving if she refuses to do anything constructive and if necessary get in touch with the council about it. But it sounds as though she could be coming round to the thought of hospital, and I can only hope she does, for her sake and yours.

Blue42
Blue42 in reply to Sallyskins

Thanks for you support x

I really do hope that she does go in hospital for her sake as well as mine. My GP increased my amitriptyline to the maximum does to help me stave off my depression as all I want to do is hide and cry. It's so isolating coping on your own. That's why it's so important for me to off load on here and have the support you all offer

I am truly thankful xx

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