To all my dear friends over there, on this site: You have all been such awesome, strong, helpful and compassionate people to each other. I have come to believe the very existence of RA and the other inflammatory diseases, actually affects the brain by stimulating the very compassion that is exhibited here. Maybe. Why not?
I know! I have promised you all a big blog, to tell you about my year of ups and downs, most especially the emotional roller-coaster of life in general.
I've had the experience of meeting a gentleman, seemingly very compatible with my own interests and philosphies, personality, sense of humor, all those criteria. Yet, he seemed not to be able to tolerate going out with me, with my walker. It seemed to really bother him to have to deal with putting it in the car, where to put it at a restaurant, or the theatre, etc. Maybe he felt it intruded on his image. I don't know. He just quit calling, or seemed rather distant, not so interested in conversation. So, I gave up too. Why bother? Another blow by the existence of RA! One more handicap.
That was back last Spring and early summer.
Ironically, my girlfriends insisted I sign up for Match.com I resisted, then thought, what the heck, maybe it's better that way. A computer will filter out the commonalities and match up ones more compatable. I gave that up after the free trial offer expired. Had several inquiries, just didn't feel interested enough to go to meet any one.
Then, in late August, I was contacted by a gentleman who had seen my profile months earlier and wondered if I could possibly be interested in writing back. He is an Electrical Engineer, had just been awarded a contract to set up an installation in London! He is there now, just about to wrap up in the next couple days, later this week and get home. We met before he had to leave, oh my, ladies.! He is French, born in Paris, though has been living in Canada until 15 years ago, when his wife died of breast cancer, and he moved to michigan, wanting to raise his son in the States. His son is now 24, working on his degree in Economics, in University in Scotland. He is intelligent, humerous, loves gardening, raises roses found around the world in different countries he has worked in. He cooks! Though he says, French quisine is too fatty, and he has become so Americanized, he really likes Taco Bell and Arby's roast beef
Before I agreed to meet, I told him of my RA, the surgeries and handicap, the walker, everything. I would not agree to meet him if I sensed he had any qualms about any of that part of my life. He said, Did I think he was the least bit concerned about how I walk?" That had nothing to do with the interests he had in my intelligence, personality, etc. He said at our age, everybody has something to deal with. We either accept it, or we don't.
Well, he has been my knight in shining armour! He loves my sons and grandchildren, loves the family gatherings, has never had much family, just being an only child himself, and having just one son. We plan to get his son and my crowd together over New Year's.
Then, back to August through October, my exhusband, the father of my 4 sons, was critically ill, in a coma for 29 days, with Shingles Encephalitis. He came out of that, but he has since passed away. I was with my sons to visit him all the while he was in hospitals, to be supportive of them and all they had to consider and deal with. During this time, I had explained to my friend what was going on and he too, was very supportive and understanding of my situation.
It has been a trip! Have had one major flare, affecting my left shoulder, left hip, right foot and ankle and left wrist. Took a Medrol dose pak, ie Prednisone, and things have quieted pretty much.
Now I will have part of my family here for Christmas dinner tomorrow, and am really looking forward to that. I get to use my china and silverware from my Grandmother, have decorated virtually every visible corner and am ready!
Merry Christmas to all over there! You get to have Christmas 5 hours before we do here
May we all have a less painful New Year! Much love, Loret