Hate to put all this to you as I may spoil everyones xmas cheer.
I am sick fed up, and got the blues. I had my discs removed, spinal fusion and spinal cage 3 weeks ago and it has been quite hard. I am not allowed to drive, wash up, iron or lean down. Now I can hear lots of you saying you lucky so and so and wish this was you but in reality its very very frustrating. My friends have been great and even came round for a xmas coffee and wrapping day last week ( i ordered everything via the internet.) My hubby is running around trying to look after me and cook and then his mum ends up in hospital and he now has her shopping etc to do. Katy is doing my breakfast and doing as much housework as she can after school, she also has exams. At the moment they are putting up the xmas tree and i am sat here feeling very glum. I normally do all these things and I think ever though i had the op and i am pleased as i can feel my hands and arms again, i am so exhausted. I think i am flaring as i have been off my ra drugs for so long now. I wanna sleep all the time, but wanna help with the tree. My mum comes on wednesday, but i really dont want the effort, and feel really bad about that. I dont know how she's getting from the station as i cant drive due to the op, i cant ask my friends again they are all busy with friends coming to stay. I havent even got her bed changed, I am always organised and the house always has loads of deccies, this year a tree and light outside that hubby put up and half of them arent working, so embarrassing to me, but cos hes busy I cant say fix them.
I also have shingles on top of my scar which has decided to look further frankenstein by keloiding. It hurts a lot. I have also developed very painful lumps all under the skin but following the lifelines of my palms, does any one have any ideas what this is. I have antivirals that are making me have very very bad diarrhoea and think i am getting thrush on my bum to top it off.
Now I know you are all gonna say xmas is just about being together but it doesnt feel that way. yeah i got the pressies, ordered the food, but there are cards for the neighbours that have to be delivered but my daughter being a teenager is too embarrassed to deliver them, so there they are sat there staring at me, as is the unfinished fireplace, nothing at the front door, no staircase done and feeling very useless.
dont know what else to say , am going to put my hands in hot then cold water.
Really struggling guys dont know what to do