Do any of us really tell our partners, male or female, how we really feel. I have just told my wonderful, supportive, husband, that he has no idea how much continuous pain I am in whether it is from joints or just non-specific burning horrible pain that will not register on a register. I begin to feel a 50 year old with crap (can I say crap?) non-specific pain which makes me want to spend all day in bed in a comfy position which I could stay in for days. This ruins his weekend and i end up feeling guilty without even having his input.. Sorry for two depressing posts but this is how I feel. At the age of 20 I started on two courses of chemo and I am now past sucking up GP advice, etc. I have had enough and would quite cheerfully, well not cheerfully, as I know what a mess I would leave behind and I HATE SUICIDES as think they are selfish. But .... Got enough drugs in the house, arranged dog care (I Love my dog). Sorry. If you think that this is one of those cries for help with no reason that tie up the emergency servicses . I would not have called them. Poor hubby would have had to have dealt with them on his own. How selfish is that. I still need a light at the end of any tunnel and can't find it. Sorry to be to downcast. But. Have had enough. Of everything. If we can get men on the moon, why can't we stop normal people hurting?