First step accomplished

First step accomplished

I had the family talk last night and made it known how I feel. I am quite proud of myself because I managed to do it without dissolving into tears. because I have this awful habit of feeling sorry for myself.

So anyway, I told my partner David what I feel I can try and do each day, told him that there would be days when I can't do anything and worked out a strategy for this to work. This involves letting my stepson do some work for us, getting straight and then letting him work on the farm two days a week. The money will just have to be found. I think he wants to have his own flock of sheep so that might be the answer. Instead of charging him rent he works for us... simples!

I don't know why such a big deal was made of it by me really. I suppose what I wanted was for someone else to come up with a solution, which would show that they actually understand what I am going through. I think that was asking the impossible of two farmers from the same Devon family...really. They are a breed unto themselves!

Hopefully it will work, with the extra MX and additional painkillers and the anti depressants, I think I might manage it.... we'll see.

Julie x

10 Replies

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  • Hi Julie :)

    That must have been a very difficult conversation for you to have. Well done you, you got the points across and between you reached what will hopefully be a suitable resolution.

    You now need to look after yourself and get on the road to recovery. Come the warmer days you might be ready to get going okay, in a limited way, but it's quality not quantity that counts (perhaps that doesn't apply in farming!).

    Take care Julie. You are doing so well,

    Lyn x

  • Hi Julie

    As you said simples, if we were Meercats we would be looked after by the group,and our children would be taken care of as well.

    But, we are independant strongwilled women and men who have RA, you just take care of yourself rest and take your meds.

    Do you talk to your chickens they say that they have a wonderful sense of our moods and illness and will take your worries away.

    Note to my self get a chicken.

    best wishes

    Tricia

  • Well done Julie, I'd say the relief of having organised the work will in itself do you good. I can't imagine life on a farm, don't think I have ever seen a real chicken ( except with roasties & stuffing). I think that you will now go from strength to strength, antideps are a godsend when you have this condition escpecially in early stages. x

  • Well done Julie, having to start that conversation was not easy, it can feel humiliating and depressing to have to recognise and admit that we are no longer able to zoom about taking care of stuff like we used to as fit, strong, capable superwomen, being the weakest in the pack is not a good feeling, but having an understanding family does help, and I hope it takes the pressure of you and that you dont feel so down. Take care x

  • Oh my what can I say. Yes it was hard, but at the end of the day I would like to keep my limbs and digits functioning as they should be and that much mean looking after yourself.

    Lyn you have been a tower of strength, thank you, your experience and your story has been inspirational..

    Tricia.. being a Meercat once in a while might not be too bad! The chicks do make me smile, I can watch them for hours and they following me everywhere.

    Gina I will send you a real live feathery one one day. The depo kicked in today and certainly was a godsend.,

    Lorrayne you are spot on! I.m a bit of a control freak really and always got an opinion and point of view so letting go is hard and strange for me.

    Thanks everyone x

  • Good for you, I hope that they remain supportive and understanding. There will be times when you feel better and more able to do things so just make sure that they don't start to take the good you for granted. Or that you do for that matter!!

    I'm wondering if these anti-dep's might be worth a go...

  • Hear hear everyone it is hard to make people understand RA. I had to break my hip and wrist last year to get a rest lol. But as I then had MRSA and I was away from home for six weeks my girls and mother certainly had a wakeup call. It is very hard not to try to do everything every day but you will learn. Make time for youself even if its just to catch up on rest.

  • WELL DONE!!, YOU ARE ONE BRAVE LADY XX

  • Oh well done Julie and long may it last love Sue x

  • Thank you everyone. What an encouragement. I went to coffee morning at our local village hall this morning! I am always being asked and I always say I can't because yakkety yakkety. So today I thought B****r it and I left the eggy peggys and went. Ahhh so nice to do. It is so wrong that like Sharon says, you have to break something before you can feel justified in having a rest. I also had encounter with a neighbour, when I said I had RA he knew exactly what I meant because he works with medical research machines or something and he knew a lot about the pain, so I had an ally at the coffee morning too! So most of the village now know what RA is and how debilitating it can be. Can'tr be bad thing to raise awareness.

    Thanks again everyone. and look after yourselves x Julie

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