I had the family talk last night and made it known how I feel. I am quite proud of myself because I managed to do it without dissolving into tears. because I have this awful habit of feeling sorry for myself.
So anyway, I told my partner David what I feel I can try and do each day, told him that there would be days when I can't do anything and worked out a strategy for this to work. This involves letting my stepson do some work for us, getting straight and then letting him work on the farm two days a week. The money will just have to be found. I think he wants to have his own flock of sheep so that might be the answer. Instead of charging him rent he works for us... simples!
I don't know why such a big deal was made of it by me really. I suppose what I wanted was for someone else to come up with a solution, which would show that they actually understand what I am going through. I think that was asking the impossible of two farmers from the same Devon family...really. They are a breed unto themselves!
Hopefully it will work, with the extra MX and additional painkillers and the anti depressants, I think I might manage it.... we'll see.