Haven't written anything on the site for weeks although I have continued to read various comments and blogs.
I went to our Occupational Health Department at work and it turned out to be a bit of a catalyst for an outpouring of grief that I think had been brewing for some time. And I thought I was doing so well!! Hey ho. Well, as you can probably gather, I am on my way back from La La land and some 5 weeks later (still got a couple more signed off) I have just started to think that life is somewhat less miserable. My RA has not improved and have now been on Embrel for about 22 weeks. I have transferred to another (more local) consultant and have an appointment for a couple of weeks time so perhaps that will be reviewed then. I was diagnosed with moderate to severe depression and am on antidepressants which seem to be working well now. I am also resting more and doing what my body tells me although the nights are still bad and pretty painful. At least being off work I can allow myself to manage my condition and have stopped beating myself up about letting everyone down and feeling guilty about absolutely everything.
My surgery have been brilliant. I am looking for a local part time job whilst I am still employed as I was driving for too long and working long days which I know I cannot sustain. I am not sure if that will prove successful but I can at least try. My husband, who has seen a vast improvement in me, thinks I have gone to La La land rather than returned from it as I am more chilled than I have been for about 18 months!!
Love to one an all out there and especially those who are having a particularly bad time of it. Caroline xxxxx