Sorry to have to come here to offload. I just feeling so upset.
I have been off work sick for the last month. I had covid which turned into a chest infection. I went back to work after 2 weeks and 3 hours into my first day back I realised how unwell I was. I went back to the doctors and she said it was very nearly a medical emergency. I had acute exacerbation of asthma and needed more antibiotics and steroids.
Anyway. It’s two weeks later and I have another week off. Hopefully I will be able to go back on MTX and then begin a new biologic (long story) before I go back to work. I’m still feeling a bit chesty though.
Well, today I found out another member of my team has been off sick for a week - high blood pressure apparently. She’s lovely and I do feel for her. But the rest of the team have sent her a bunch of flowers and some sickly sweet messages on our team WhatsApp group for me to see. No one has even asked if I’m ok.
I do have a fair amount of time off sick due to RA and coughs and colds. And believe me, I would rather not be ill. But this has made me feel so rubbish. Like no one believes I’m unwell or that I have a long term health condition. I am so fed up with this. I find work exhausting enough without now having the feelings my colleagues can’t stand me.
Sorry for the rant xx
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Pink75928
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quite honest with you pink , them sort of people are not worth you getting upset over, there obviously in some sort of click with each other , don’t be worrying about them there not worth it , and your better off not going back to work until you have got yourself sorted with your meds , stuff em I say ..xx
Yes deffo don’t go back until your well , if you go back before and then have more time off you will start being monitored, as is what they seem to do nowadays , I had 9 months off couple years ago because of big flare up and eventually got onto biologics ,and never looked back , and the people at work are colleagues not your friends by the sound of it xx
woah!!!!!! That is terrible! So sorry. Why are people so thoughtless? I’d be feeling the same as you. Jeez. The company should have some sort of policy so this doesn’t happen. It isn’t you though. This person had one advocate that made the flowers happen. Others would have just gone along. Take care.
Oh dear that is thoughtless and I feel for you. Sometimes though we do when feeling under the weather take things to much to heart and yet it isn’t nice unless your colleague has something you’ve missed going on as you were off. I don’t know but it does sound unusual so could be you’ve missed something.
Large box of good chocolates I recommend the Chocolate Umbrella in West Malling. It's a bit far to go but sells hand and home made chocolates. So lovely ...... I might find myself there a couple of times year its like the Candy Shop in Rochester but on speed. I like fudge it just hits the spot as does gin !!! xx
I’ve had the same thing, I’m in a group of friends who make a big deal if others are sick but not a thing when I am.. maybe we don’t shout loud enough!!!!😩
Hope you feel better for the rant, we all do that sometimes. Although I no longer have to work I understand your feelings , why are some people with long term health issues treated differently . I just had a BCC removed from my face and plastic surgery under local anaesthetic it felt like going for a tooth out. Many women would have been emotionally drained at the thought of a cancer being removed from their face and many men too.Its done now and is healing nicely then another lady has a cut finger and has to go to hospital for a dressing to be put on. Trust you are feeling a little better now and will soon be back at work with no tea and sympathy,take care😘
Sorry to hear this unfortunately it happens as I too found out but it’s hurtful. I really feel for you. I have recently had similar experience not work related though. ( That was a long time ago). I had foot surgery on both feet at the same time in Feb ( not recommended) 1 toe pinned & 1 toe end amputated after previous pinning went wrong. I couldn’t go to my normal Pilates classes for 3 months & still not allowed 7 months later to do some of the exercises. Did anyone ask how I was during this time? No. But when one lady said I’m not too good today the instructor said oh no what’s wrong? She said I didn’t sleep well last night. The instructor said oh no that’s awful!! 🤷🏻♀️I’ve no idea why people are like this. I find it hard to deal with tbh. A friend said to me just this week. Remember nobody is your friend! I thought that odd as I thought she was 🤷🏻♀️ Oh well. Guess they are not worth it hold your head up high. Just remember you are the better person. Take care x
Sorry to hear you're experiencing this Pink75928 , RA can be isolating enough and this sort of thing makes that even worse. I've come to the conclusion that often people (especially work colleagues, who perhaps don't know the realities of your day to day) just don't understand what they aren't experiencing themselves, especially with conditions that don't necessarily have visible manifestations. It can lead to quite dismissive-feeling behaviour which is hurtful. Remember we understand how RA is on here, your medical challenges are valid and significant, and so is the disappointment and hurt of them being overlooked at work. But remember the problem is your colleagues' lack of understanding and compassion for all this - nothing to do with you. I hope there's something you can do to treat yourself, take it easy, and please don't feel under pressure go back to work too soon! Your body needs time to recover and if you're changing medications, that takes time too. Wishing you all the best.
I am so sorry to hear this and think well there is one person you can be kind to and that is yourself. So if you can buy yourself a bunch of flowers take time choosing and arranging ones you like, perhaps buy a box of chocolates or something you like to eat and show yourself a little TLC. Sometimes even if we are not used to it, showing ourselves some TLC can help. 💐🌼🌷🌺
I completely understand as I had same issues when I was working I had to retire from nursing after nearly 40years in the same trust, they gave me a retirement gratuity but I never had even a card from my colleagues and my daughter who worked with me at the time said the leaving collection she started went missing, it’s real stab in the heart when you know yourself that you have supported your colleagues and listened to their problems, move on like I have and I agree with Pippy treat yourself these people are ignorant to the problems we have with RA,
Thank you all so much for being so supportive and understanding. I’ve treated myself to a nice lunch. Thank you Deliveroo!
I definitely am still unwell. I’ve finished my antibiotics and steroids a week ago, and I’m back to a hacking cough again. Will just continue taking it easy.
Thank you again guys and girls. Hope you have all had a lovely weekend xx
I'm sorry, I know how crap you feel about this. When you do re-start work, can you work from home? If they couldn't care less about you, why go in & witness their indifference?
I think something similar has happened to most of us - it's like it's not a "proper" illness or something. I remember being off on long term sick and being told by my line manager about someone else on the team also on sick leave - but she was "extremely unwell" I was told, as though I wasn't! People give away what they are really thinking one way or another. Needless to say, the other person received flowers and cards whereas I received nothing. It hurt back then but is pretty meaningless to me now. Take care - we know!
Completely agree with Patsymay13. Don't be letting it get to you (easier said than done). Join in the comments wishing your colleague a speedy recovery, sly little message you know what it's like not being well.
Then you make damn sure your ok before you go back, you aren't getting any thanks or appreciation for going back early.
I can only say they don’t know how much we suffer pain , only we do, also my friend had Covid and end up with Pneumonia, don’t let it upset you some people are false , we all behind you chin up , speedy recovery 👍
Sorry for your lovely workmates lack of empathy! You have an invisible illnesses, why cause they can't see anything. So unless you grow extra tentacles or spitfire, they can't see it. I am quiet happy with that as I don't have to listen to their tales of woe. I sorry you have been ill, and wish I a speedy recovery, go back when your body says it's ok. Xxx
They’ll find out one day what it means to have a chronic illness, at the moment they’ve probably got no idea. I also have found that people seem to think you ‘get used’ to being unwell - if only! Hope you keep treating yourself and get the meds sorted soon. : )
Well, WE know your struggles! And we are cheering you on! Sometimes you’re popular, sometimes you’re not. Has little to do with you. Ignore it and when you return, be your best cheerful self!
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Off meds for a little while
Finally a little light! 
Just feeling so very low
