Hi all. I am so fed up. And worried sick. The short version of the story is I have skin cancer. I know it’s very mild, and easily solved so I should count myself lucky. But it’s like a black cloud hanging over me.
I recently started a new role at work and am back on probation. If I fail probation I go back to my old role. I can’t explain how unwell I feel - both physically and mentally. I’m having a flare, even though im now on biologics and somehow convinced myself it was the magic cure. I’m just getting over having covid and if im honest the last thing I want to do is go to work and fake being ok. I have a private GP appointment this afternoon, and I am hoping so much that he offers to sign me off work. At this point I don’t care about my new role.
Is this a bad attitude to have? I’ve always loved working, but I just can’t face it. Sorry for moaning
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You're not moaning as you have a lot going on with health,job , physically and mentally coping with it. I understand and I hope the Dr signs you off work as stress isn't helping you hence the flare up. All the very best and hope you feel better soon.
As you say, on the whole skin cancer is easily dealt with & in most cases is quickly removed….so try not to worry….especially as you have a new job to concentrate on.
I had a basal cell carcinoma on my face & I was concerned, but it was removed by my dermatologist in his office…I drove myself there & back & when the stitches were removed that was the end of it.
That was about 5 years ago, there is a hardly visible scar,& I have had no further problems …..so concentrate on getting the flare under control then hopefully you won’t be so stressed….you got the new job on merit…don’t let this setback spoil that. Take a deep breath & soldier on,
sorry you are in a sad place. Things will get better. Work can wait. Get your cancer seen to and go back to your rheumy. There are many drugs to try if the one you are in is not working for you, sending you my best wishes. Can you not get a NHS doctors appointment?
lm sorry to read this but as you say its mild, my husband had it over a year ago and the tiny operation on his nose has resulted in an invisible scar but the black eyes were pretty spectacular. Try not to worry and as Deeb said the chat she had with wave was great so could that help ? I don’t know but it might just help and I hope you get some help from the GP. X
sometimes it’s a pile on when there are so many issues and then a new one pops up (the C word no less! Being right in the middle of med changes, its the unknown that increases stress. I have taken a break away from everything! I need to sort this all out and it takes time. Another month or more for MTX, and upcoming doc appts should give some answers. I feel useless and can’t imagine what others think. But when I focus on small gains and don’t over do it, I move forward. Part of the day yesterday I actually felt good and it scared me to think I might over do it.
Somtimes it just feels as if it's one thing piling on top of another and you just feel you need time out from it all.
I have found in the past that it helps me if i write it all down on the left side of one piece of parper and then write what I can do about it, or what others are doing about it, or sometimes 'grin and bear it'.
For me it helps to get things in to perspective as I'm not good as sharing things, especially difficulties, with other people. It's taken me ages, for example, to stop saying 'fine' when people ask how I am. Now I say 'As well as can be expected' or 'still breathing'.
I had two lumps removed from my skin the end of November and some cream for the other precancerous lesions....they are very common, but it doesn't stop you worrying. I was a bit surprised how relieved I felt when I heard back about the histology that they hadn't spread beyond the margins of skin removed!
Hope things get back into proportion for you soon and you don't feel so down.
I'd say give yourself a break. It's not a bad attitude, you are coping with a lot. I can offer my sympathy. It's so hard sometimes working with a lot of health issues going on.
I have in the past asked to be signed off for a couple of weeks. The couple of weeks gave me time to re-group and then I went back to work with a better frame of mind. If you do get signed off for a couple of weeks think of it as doing the right thing for your job, not having a bad attitude.
Things just get on top of you at times….we do have to cope with this condition on top of ‘life’ 😖As someone else said…speak to Dr…you might need something to lift your mood, also be signed off for a bit. Take care
you’re all so kind. Thank you. I have been signed off for two weeks, with the option to have more time off or go back part time. Whatever is needed. I had some info come through from Cancer Research today which has eased my mind a bit. I think I just needs a few days to be sad - I’m giving myself til Wednesday - and then I’m going to put my big girl pants on and face everything
It is understandable to feel like you do when faced with so many issues at once. None of these issues are minor and you are overwhelmed by it all. Explain to your doctor exactly how you feel. Would going back to your old role be a bad thing? Do you have HR at work? Is there someone you could talk to and ask if you could put the new probation on hold until you feel better? GP may give you something short term to help you through this rough patch. I hope you feel better soon and more able to compartmentalise your health problems. Lots of healing hugs.
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