Firm or soft mattress

[Castroll]

Hi all

I am purchasing a new mattress in your opinion which is better for joint pain/ back pain - a softer one or a firm mattress. Now I have RA I wonder what would be best.

I am looking at a sealy posturepedic ortho firmness 4 or 5.

Regards

[Hidden]

I prefer a firm mattresses if they are too soft my back plays up and I find turning over or getting out of bed difficult as tend to sink into the mattress and can’t roll

[Castroll in reply to Hidden]

Thanks I know what you mean too soft can't get out of bed

[AgedCrone]

Looks like you are going to have to try out the mattresses in you local bedding store....but please don’t go in your PJ’s!

[Castroll in reply to AgedCrone]

Ha ha I will remember to not go in pjs

Will a firmer support make my joints worse and sore or give more support that's the dilemma I am facing 😩

[AgedCrone in reply to Castroll]

It’s a very personal choice..I’m quite small & slight & I find a really firm mattress is like sleeping on concrete ...but on a soft squishy one I sink in & can’t get up!

You really do need to try them out & see how you feel....but it also depends on your bedding.....I like slippy sheets you can slide on...brushed cotton are nice & wam in the winter....but not easy to move around on.

It takes a lot of thought as mattresses are expensive these days !

[Castroll in reply to AgedCrone]

I too prefer slippy sheets.

[medway-lady]

I prefer firm but found the ones made of that posh foam stuff that support the body etc are really hot. So had to buy a cool mattress topper. It's not a bed I'd buy again and will go back to go old fashioned sprung mattresses when lockdown is over. Eventually we swopped it for the bed in spare room. Which is an IKEA one which was cheap and is really comfortable.

[AgedCrone in reply to medway-lady]

Do you remember water mattresses that you could warm up?

A lot of hotels had them in the 1970/80’s.They actually used them as a selling point...but they were horrible....there was no snuggling down....the water fought back ...it was like sleeping on a permanent wave machine 🏄‍♂️!

[Castroll in reply to AgedCrone]

God I remember trying out a watered in the early 90s, ot was horrid and very much like being on a wave machine ha ha

[Castroll]

Yes a lot of others have said the memory foam ones are too hot also I don't like the sinking feeling

[Hidden in reply to Castroll]

I can’t sleep on a foam mattress I would spontaneously combust 🥵I did spend a lot of money on mine but it has a lifetime guarantee it’s 16 years old now good as new. It was a extra firm natural material mattress. Worth every penny

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

⛑🔥🔥🔥

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

😂😂😂that’s me on a cold cold winters night with the windows open 🥵 this is me 🥶 and this is the hubby 😂😂

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Me too all windows open fan on and hubby under a mounyood duvet and blankets ⭐️

[RosieA in reply to Hidden]

Hi Deeb

Oh Boy do I remember that! I used to wake up boiling and very sweaty - cold the next second etc as many ladies do. Although had very early menopause I still suffered from getting very hot at night. Windows open etc, all natural bedding.

I researched wool duvets. OM Goodness! What a difference! They wick and breath like no ones business, especially if you use linen duvet cover. Just a thought! Let me know if you are interested and I can tell you a bit more about the dos and don'ts of buying - some are not so good.

[Boxerlady in reply to RosieA]

I'd be interested to hear about the wool duvets - thinking that might be an option when our ancient goose down one finally gives up the ghost. I've looked at them before but hesitated specifically because I was suspicious that some of them might be of dubious quality so any pointers would be great 😊

[RosieA in reply to Boxerlady]

Hi. From my own bit of research I gleaned two main points - firstly, if it says machine washable it has been treated with chemicals which may reduce the ability of the wool to wick and so misses the point. Some are less ethically produced than others, so it's to consider if it's important to you.

I went for a small company in Devon, all natural, different weights, try and if don't like can return. We loved them so got one light and one normal weight. Haven't looked back, no longer wake up sweaty. I might be warm but not that horrific, drenched feeling like your going to have a heart attack heat. I used to have goose too by the way and don't have shares (honestly).

They are expensive but since the idea is that the last forever! Lovely helpful lady to speak to and gives guidance on bedding too. Seemingly keep to a lower thread count for cotton, as although higher count might feel luxurious it also stops the wool from breathing. Also, as ethical as possible, if her sheep haven't been shorn then you may have to wait type thing.

I've converted to linen bedding, no ironing. Plus it is amazingly warm in the winter and breathes like a dream.

Only other main point, when changing bed weekly, let the duvet wick away the moisture - I gather it can wick upto 30% of it's own weight (but don't quote 'cos my memory may be dodgy).

Hope that helps. I can give the company name if needed - is that alright or does it need to be a private message. x

[Boxerlady in reply to RosieA]

That's really helpful - thanks. Yes, I'd love the company name please - I don't know the rules on here but either way is fine by me 😊

When you say allow the duvet to wick away, I'm presume you mean leave it on the bed without a cover on for a while?

I usually take our duvet to a local launderette which does large quilts but do these need to be dry cleaned?

I'll have a look at linen - I haven't ironed for years 😂 On the line if possible and otherwise in the dryer - not the most environmentally friendly but....

Yes, the ethical thing does appeal if we can afford it. Recently tried a ethical meat supplier and atm am hoping to keep using it even if it means eating it in smaller portions/less often.

[Hidden in reply to RosieA]

I too use a wool duvet Rosie won’t use any else. I have also got a silk pillow case keeps head and neck from sweating and the bonus hair doesn’t get knotted.

[RosieA in reply to Hidden]

Great aren't they and when you read about wool vs down etc it makes sense. Love mine. It's a win / win whatever the weather.

[springcross in reply to Hidden]

Yes, our mattress has all natural fibres but it weighs a ton.

[Hidden in reply to springcross]

Yep thank god it’s a no turn mattress. When we moved house it nearly broke the back of the removals men 😁

[springcross in reply to Hidden]

Ours has to be turned. It was OK when we got it for the first few years but now I have this RA, I can't help hubby and he has to do it on his own with an arthritic knee - it really does weigh a ton too.

[Boxerlady in reply to Hidden]

We got a no-turn mattress last time - good decision!

[Gnarli]

It's such an individual choice it would be impossible to advise you. My dad was a physio and condemned a very firm mattress saying the mattress needed to 'give' a little. As ACsays, your best bet is to try out the mattresses on offer and spending a few minutes on each

[Castroll in reply to Gnarli]

I too have always been advised to have a firm mattress. Which I have always had but since having RA last 2 yrs I have had a softer one that's comfy but I find it really hard to turn over and get out of.

[nomoreheels]

It's such a personal thing buying a mattress. Personally I prefer a relatively firm pocket sprung mattress though we have had memory foam in the past, quite an expensive one, but it was far too hot making. I'd go & try out different ones, then do your homework when you've made a decision on specific brand. The one we ultimately decided on was being sold to us as £800 odd at (Bensons) that was with a supposed discount. Once home a quick google found the exact same one, king size, same amount of springs, from the company direct (Silentnight) for just over £200 delivered free from the factory, situated directly onto the bed base & the old mattress taken away.

I hope whichever you choose it suits you & you find yourself sleeping better without the ouchys.

[Castroll in reply to nomoreheels]

I went to Benson beds last weekend and I too have found the same one on line cheaper

[Fruitandnutcase]

I have a bad back and I find I don’t do at all well with a firm ‘orthopaedic’ mattress, I imagine very soft wouldn’t be good either but I’d tend to go for softer rather than to firm and yes, foam mattresses get ridiculously hot - that’s what we’ve got at the moment think it’s a Caspar one - it arrived in a box then expanded when we unwrapped it - and although it is comfortable I hate it for its heat. I keep dropping hints about hating it to my husband but so far he’s managing to ignore all hints. I’d like to get rid of it and buy something cooler. Our previous bed was a Tempur bed and that got terribly hot so I wouldn’t recommend that either.

It’s a very personal thing.

[Castroll in reply to Fruitandnutcase]

Thanks

You need to drop more hints to hubby ☺️

Being hot in bed is horrible I hate it too

[Eiram50]

Firm, for me. The best nights sleep I ever have- is in a hospital bed!!

[RosieA]

It is so personal but there is some great guidance online about choosing a mattress based on your weight. The lighter you are then the mattress needs to veer towards the softer spectrum. Only problem then is if OH is much heavier and then a split mattress maybe advisable - cost and size premitting ( e.g. wouldn't work for us as we live in a cottage!!) Like some others I always go for natural fibres.

[Fra22-57]

I used to have a orthopaedic one with a memory foam topper which was good .we moved homes so disposed and just got one soft one as I feel every thing with having fibromyalgia but wish I had bought firmer one as my back kills me now

[Castroll in reply to Fra22-57]

That's good to know

[Hessie5]

I have a Vi-Sprung for over ten years and still remains brilliant, tension is between a soft and firm - it fab for me - I always look forward to going to bed 😁 - you can buy them with one-half soft and one firm I was told.

As mentioned best to test and hopefully there are some great deals out there!

Good luck with your choice ☺️ - Hessie

[Ms-D]

Hi i got a Simba mattress last year and its great. As Goldilocks said its just right. Expensive but worth it x

[CagneysMum]

Just before my RA struck two and a half years ago we treated ourselves to a medium soft, very expensive Hypnos bed and mattress. Then suddenly I could not tolerate it because It put too much pressure on my joints and I couldn’t get out of it. We owned it for 8 months before giving it away. Now we have a medium firm mattress which is perfect. We also have a much firmer mattress on our spare room bed but I find that too hard on my shoulders when I sleep on my side.

As suggested already ... you need to get your comfiest clothing on and go stretch out on some beds. Don’t be shy...people do it all the time. That’s what I did. 👍

[VeronicaF]

my matterss is a tempur and oh my best thing we ever brought, can't live without it

[BoneyC]

Firm

[Genie11]

I have had RA for over 40 years and Sciatica for 35 years. Pocket sprung, medium or medium firm is best for me. No memory foam for me as I find it hard. I always have problems staying in hotels. The mattresses are always hard and after a couple of days I cant stand the pain build up anymore. It is a personal choice though and if possible you should try them out. Good Luck.

[achyknitter]

I bought a new mattress a year after I was diagnosed with RA and was advised that the choice of soft, medium or firm mattresses depended entirely on my weight. At just over 8 stone, I was advised to get a soft mattress and this has been wonderful - very supportive but not hard. The pitfall I fell into was the weight of the mattress - it is made of natural fibres and should be turned every now and again - my husband can turn it at the moment but as age / decrepitude encroaches we shall have to rethink the whole question. Good luck with your mattress hunt.

[Angjoplin]

Definitely firm for me. I'd happily sleep on the floor if I could get down there. Lol.

Unlike others I love memory foam. I'm always always cold. So it's nice to be warm in bed.

[Castroll in reply to Angjoplin]

That's funny

[Recorder500L]

Try all the mattresses in the shop. I have a medium sprung mattress with a very thin memory foam on one side. Turn it over. ( I cannot manage it even with hubby) and it has a cool memory foam on the other side. It is brilliant however I have had pressure points on my feet so have a Teddy Mattress cover which is amazing. I take it with us when staying with the children and even take it with us to Hotels if the mattress is not just as I like it.

I have not heard of wool duvets - so off to have a look. Take Care.

[Ruth12345]

Havent read comments so this may have already been said. ...

We got a copy Tempur mattress with 90 day trial. Was no good so sent it back. A lot of fuss getting them to take it but they did with full refund. Then we dug deep in the purse and got a real Tempur, but that was after spending 3.5 hrs in the shop trying out different beds. It was exausting. Then needed new bed base as they said it wasnt compatible with our devan bed base. Got one in the sale, however didnt think about the height of base with matress and now I need a step to get into bed. Feel like the princess and the pea 🙂. Not ideal. Its really good and has helped with the pain but the draw back is it makes me very hot.

Sorry if this has been said. Good luck. 🌈

[CallMeSunny]

It is such a problem as one can find the ‘ideal’ bed then discover after a few weeks that it really is far from ideal..and expensive too! I have RA and also had severe spinal issues five years ago, resulting in 2 major surgeries so when it came time to choose a new bed to give me both excellent support and comfort, I eventually decided on a really deep firm sprung base on which I have a 2” deep natural wool and cotton topper. It really really is amazing and as the top isn’t too weighty, I can change the sheets etc with ease...important for me as I’m on my own. Good luck with your decision...do let us all know how you get on. X S.