Hi, I haven't been doing to great on my benepali I'm not doing great at the minute not sleeping, so last night I was thinking back as to what as been said at clinic, two nurses who are CNS and know there job and have 50/60 years experience between them, I have the upmost respect for these two nurses actually, I'm a Auxillary at the trust.but to get to the point one said to me about my prognoses isn't great when she looked at my antibodies, ccp was extremely high, the other nurse said I will end up disabled, this was ticking over in my head last night, I know they know there jobs they wouldn't b*llsh*t me,with there amount of rheumatology experience should they say it to me? I know all that you should stay positive and so on,.I'm a 18 months down the line, looking back I'm certain it started in my feet many years ago but you just plod on family and so on. The question is who as ended up disabled after diagnoses?I do want bluntness if I'm honest, do realise that we need the drugs that work for us and mine aren't I need to find the one suited to me I get that, I may never find it who knows? some must struggle finding this? I'm sorry this is a dreadful post just need some insight ?