off topic .... update and feeling very low: Well the... - NRAS


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off topic .... update and feeling very low

Flor1rence profile image

Well the upside is I got on good yesterday and my elbow is healing well. I go back to work as planned on 21st May on reduced hours for 6 weeks. I have my exercises to do which I have done this morning and again this evening. I had a lovely shower with two arms last night, what an amazing experience! The downside is I have woken up feeling very low today, alot has happened to me in my personal life over the last 3 years and I'm finding it very difficult to pick myself up. I can't stop crying but I know its just time to get myself back on track, it comes over me in waves🌊I've just got to ride them better 😂I have been shielding this time since xmas eve and then had my op which had to be done. I don't feel I can express how I feel to some people cause one in particular said to me about self pity cause I have a short term inconvenience(my arm)he then went on to say hopefully I can find some form of happiness and one day appreciate the fact that I am alive!!! 😭this was off the back of just mentioning when asked how was I and I said its a little difficult drying my hair. Yesterday I decided to block this friend on what's app, I can't have negative comments like that, it has upset me. I've got to get my mojo back😉Lovely sunshine atm so if I can feel like taking a walk later I will. Hope you are all okay x

63 Replies

You are not off topic at all. People can be so insensitive, that said, RD is the disease you don't get until you get it.

It is absolutely fine to have up and down spells, it's all part if the human condition. No 'pity party' absolutely awful term to use against anyone, naive in the least.

It is perfectly normal to say you don't feel great, none of us feel the same everyday, RD or not.

I absolutely understand why you blocked someone on your FB page, I do not engage with anyone FB or F2F that cannot demonstrate a little understanding. They are not worth it.

Be kind to yourself and engage with the forum, let us know how you are getting on.

If you don't pick up soon it might be worthwhile having a chat with your GP.

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to Mmrr

Hi its only a temporary measure, I feel a bit guilty cause I am on here cause I take MTX for an auto immune disease not RA but when I joined it directed me here! 😂Probably me being too sensitive but I have been locked up on and off for months on end and the comment I got tipped me over the edge x

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to Flor1rence

We get it , any long term illness is awful xxx

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to allanah

chips from the local chippy tonight and maybe a pineapple fritter😂should have been that healthy jacket potato and salad but hey bit of comfort food today x

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to Flor1rence


Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to allanah

chips and pineapple fritter, really tasty. tempted with a glass of wine but my arm is very painful so painkillers won 😂x

Chips equals veg pineapple equals fruit. Two of your five a day.

this is exactly what one of my little friends said😂x

Glass of orange three of your five a day Bloody Mary with tomato juice four of your five a day and an olive- job done😃🥳🙋🏻‍♀️

like 😂 like button is still not working

J1707 profile image
J1707 in reply to Flor1rence

Saturday night !!! Chips every time .. salads are for the during the week.😋😋🥰

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to J1707

they were nice I must say x

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to J1707

Im just on a lose lockdown weight session, soup, salad and swimming ! Should work fingers crossed !!

J1707 profile image
J1707 in reply to allanah

Oh the S plan diet 😜

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to J1707


Green230461 profile image
Green230461 in reply to allanah

I’m going to be on the wet diet next week two teeth out Tuesday 😬

J1707 profile image
J1707 in reply to Green230461

🥺🥴good luck

Green230461 profile image
Green230461 in reply to J1707

Thank you😬

hope it goes okay for you at the dentist 😉

allanah profile image
allanah in reply to Green230461

Oich good luck

A pineapple fritter sounds divine .. years since I had one. 😋

Mmrr profile image
Mmrr in reply to Flor1rence

We all understand, sometimes it just gets on top of you.

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to Mmrr

sometimes it really does x

The affect having to shield for such a long time is not to be underestimated and then being thrust into a hospital its like going from 0 - 100.

You've done brilliantly, well done for blocking this person, you don't have to listen to their babble, they have no idea.

I say let it all out, holding in the tears just makes me feel bottled up, I wait until the kids are out the house and just let it flow. We are only human, we are social animals and need company. I don't know about you but when I'm not feeling well and stuck in it just concentrates my mind on my illness and I need to do something to take my mind off things.

Come here, chat to us, you never really understand RA unless you have it, you've gone through alot with your operation , if you could you should pat yourself on the back 😉 Dont try it though .

As suggested above if you feel you need a little help from your GP don't delay get on it.

Massive hugs x

thank you Marion, I have a auto immune disease on MTX. I have done really well reducing my medication considerably over the years and remain very well. Just me being sensitive to that awful comment. I am going to find my mojo tom and visit my sister, we are good friends too and today I have got stuck in to diamond painting which is putting beads onto a picture colour coded, relaxing xx

Aww Flor1rence, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so down, particularly after getting on so well with your recovery from the elbow op. This, with lockdown, could be partly responsible for you feeling like you do, as well as your experiences the last three years, as lockdown has affected a lot of people as you no doubt know. As regards the negative comments from one individual, I am not on any social media sites (unless you class HU as social media) but if I were and had remarks like that from that person, I would block him and there would be no doubt about that. You don't need people that make you feel negative, especially going through what you are. I hope you soon feel brighter and continue to improve with your elbow. Try to forget what he has said, it's not worth a second thought. All the best. xx

thank you for your kind words Springcross. I'm probably too sensitive at times but I have been locked up for too many months on and off and its taking its toll!! It is kind of awful when someone asks how you are and then thinks I'm in self pity😕Nevermind his loss. I have done well on MTX with my auto immune disease and managed to lower my meds by nearly half in last 3 years or so, people are all too quick to judge when you are honest about how you feel, I almost want to say ever thing is brilliant all the time just so I don't get any confrontation😂xx

Some people really do not get it...what an insensitive idiot. I used to have a friend like that...the operative word being “used”. I am so much happier without him in my life. I hope this better state of affairs will happen for you too.

Try to catch yourself when you’re thinking about it/him and make a conscious effort to shift your thoughts. Don’t let him take up anymore headspace.

And I’m pretty sure many of us go through patches of being really down about our situation. I was crying every day through Feb and March. But I’m starting to turn a corner now and getting back on top of myself. Just remember that you will get to the other side of this. And things will seem brighter again ☀️ Xx

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to LoneEra

lovely kind words thank you very much LoneEra. I've just had some quiet time today and had a cry but its only temporary, I can get back my mojo soon x

You find out who your friends are dont you ! So they are not really friends. Real friends ralk even about hard stuff and support as best they can. Id love to see that one cope with one arm! .

You coukd be low to as sometimes when i breath a sigh of relief i get bubbly!!

Be good to youself tiday, you are getting through it lovely xx

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to allanah

thanks allanah true words, its okay not to be okay isn't it, its temporary but tom is a new day😂x

Think we are all extra sensitive after this awful year of shielding. We can't all be cheerful 100% of the time no matter who wants us to be. Other people's feelings should be respected as only that person really knows what is going on for them. Best not to engage with negativity. Take care of yourself. xx

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to Wobbies

loving your kind reply, thank you x

An op takes it out of you physically but it does take it out if you mentally. Getting into the right frame mind for the op then the positive mental attitude in recovery is exhausting. On top the shielding and stress even though we have a sense of humour about it takes it’s toll. It’s natural to feel down especially now the focus of op and recovery is no longer needed . Your a bit in limbo with adjusting but you will get there.. poo to your negative so called friend you don’t need him and one day his comments will bite him on the bum 😁

yes thank you for your kind words. shielding has taken its toll on me for sure, I've got stuck into making my picture this afternoon to keep myself busy. I'm still recovering but well so that's promising x

Firstly you are to be commended for going through what you have been and I hold my hand out to you for coping with one arm whilst recovering with the other. You have done so so well and as you say while shielding which I know only so well has taken it's toll. True friends and good friends wont judge you and as I have mentioned before in my tree of life there are branches that break away or fall off without the finest of breezes, there are some which need pruning because they are bad, rotten or could harm or have a negative impact on the tree if left, Then there are good and true branches hold fast that sway and move in gentle breezes and more stormy times. So glad you blocked them as that's not a friend. Again until you've walked a mile in someone elses shoes you never know how they may be feeling inside or out. Sending you my good wishes xx

Just sending a hug and hoping your Mojo is coming home to you xx

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to Deeb1764

thank you, im still searching for it😂x

Pippy I love your kind word's, thank you so much for caring. This girl just needs to realise that its okay not to be okay😂xx

Aww sweetheart I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling low today. Totally understandable with managing your health, having a huge operation and shielding just a few reasons. You have done the right thing by blocking this person. I have my low days and have really started to learn who true friends are and those kind of people I want to be part of my life since having RD. In the words of our lovely Pip. I have had to do some pruning and sadly think there is going to be a little more pruning to do soon to keep myself as well as I can. Gentle hugs to you lovely and don’t you dare leave us as we love having you here with us. 🤗🥰 xx

thank you so much x

Block the morons.. I do and have had to in the past.. no wonder you’re feeling low after your op. It’s not easy to go through anything like that. I have a woman I’ve known since I was 4, messaging me ... I’m in Cornwall woo hoo .... and four hols there in the last year as they own a holiday flat and could go as it was work etc. She was moaning she hasn’t been on a holiday there since November before last week and then that she’d not been in a shop since October. July 2019 my last Cornwall holiday or any holiday and 9 March in a shop I told her you’re lucky!

Those people are selfish and clueless and should be blocked if they persist trying to drag you down.. you don’t need it for your healing process. Hugs xxx

thank you for replying. my last holiday was in September 2018 in Cornwall, my favourite place to be. oh I did have 4 nights in New Forest but that wasn't really a break because it was camping and not really my cuppa😂good to get away I guess cause I'd not long lost my Dad. no, some people don't realise how lucky they are and no gift can buy me, this is what he does, definitely blocked due to inappropriate comments xxx

Sorry for the loss of your Dad. 💗 You don’t need any negativity around you at the moment whilst recovering. I’m constantly being told how awful lockdown is by people who haven’t shielded and who have perfect immunes. I say sorry you are not feeling good and I understand you well.. I do mean that .. but I also mean think of someone else too who may be having a tough(er!) time. Protect yourself from FB oddbods.. all oddbods and never feel one iota of guilt. xx

thank you lovely lady. how are you today? I had a bit better day yesterday 😉xx

I hope you are feeling better now - we are but human with all kinds of emotions that alter like the wind - good days and the not so good - when I feel like this, I resort to my pick me up emergency treat box. Find something to make you smile 😊 - all the best, Hessie 😊

Neonkittie17 profile image
Neonkittie17 in reply to Hessie5

Excellent philosophy 💗

thanks Hessie, I'm a little better but so many things buzzing in my head today, tomorrow will be better I'm sure. perhaps when I put my protective sleeve away I accidentally packed my mojo in with it😂I've gotta laugh as I been crying most of the day x

Awww so sorry your feeling this way at the moment 🤗, your not alone and I personally feel your pain and tears it’s frustrating, but well done you on blocking your friend for now, a lot of people just don’t get anything they can’t see or feel, that is unfortunately down to their ignorance 🤔 and being inept to understand or learn 😬Keep strong and look forward especially to that walk in the glorious sunshine, summer is round the corner and nature brings all the brilliant colours of flowers 💐 🌳 ☀️ 🌅 🦋🐞🐝🐛

Wishing you all the best 🤗🤗

thank you MummaJoJo, yes you are right some people just don't understand x

I too was feeling very low & told my Renal Consultant who was just lovely and said," Well I'm really not surprised after all your body has been through incl. Covid. What you need to do is Self Care, not beat yourself up for feeling depressed & most of all be kind to you " So that's my advice to you too 😊

Neonkittie17 profile image
Neonkittie17 in reply to shouty


thank you, just needs time 😉

Awwww I hope your spirits are lifted soon xx sunshine helps that’s for sure xxx lots of people

Don’t understand that’s for sure xx

thank you gottaloveastaffy, I was a bit tiery this morning but I got up earlier and steamed a couple of bits of clothes and visited my sister and she's a tonic especially as she lost her partner and doggie only last year, I love that girl x

You are doing really well. You are bound to have off periods, we all do and you will come out of it. Try to just go with it and don't try to fight it. I have learned from bitter experience that you can't but I also know that it will pass. Take these times to rest up, read or do whatever distracts you but most of all be kind to yourself. It is normal so don't beat yourself up about it. As for your so called 'friend' I think you have done the right thing by blocking him on what's app. You don't need him. People who treat others like that are not friends but bullies. If you want to talk about how you feel be it good or bad, tell us. We won't scoff or tell you to 'pull yourself together.' We understand and can offer help even if it is just a friendly, sympathetic ear. I hope you are feeling better soon. Xx

Green230461 profile image
Green230461 in reply to Sheila_G

Quite right you are human not a pair of curtains. You don’t need to pull yourself together you need a spray of perfume a dose of sunshine and a kind remark. 💐

That’s fab 💗

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence in reply to Sheila_G

thank you Sheila, everyone is so kind on here. I normally don't like to say if I'm feeling bit low but the last few days have been difficult one way or another xx


Any operation can leave you feeling low- I think that the anaesthetic does it to you. Crying is nature’s way of getting rid of unwanted toxins so cry ahead. As the ad Says “You are worth it” And you will feel better after it. We are all here for you just as you are for all of us. So , forget your fair weather friend and step forward at your own pace. 💐

Spot on .. a GA takes a while to overcome. I have found this worse than any op healing.

green, I love the pair of curtains comment😂made me smile. my elbow is healing nicely, it is very sore but im getting there x

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