Hi everyone and I hope you're all having a good day today? Having started a low dose of pred just over 2 weeks ago before starting my cimzia I'm feeling lots better and it really is such a relief and I know you'll all understand how wonderful it feels to be emerging from a major flare.
Anyway, I know how difficult this disease can be for others to understand. I've long ago given up on tying to get my work colleagues to understand as I think it's making me sound a bit like a hypochondriac haha!! I've had a really tough 3 months and I have girlfriends who I chat to. My husband is fantastic on a practical level but not so great to talk to and I think he gets it as much as he ever will, so no complaints there. Anyway, as my husband isn't a great talker ...and guess what I am ... I've always relied on my girlfriends to chat stuff through with.
I've one particular friend who I see, text, talk to very regularly and we off load to each other frequently. Her about her work/husband/kids etc and over the last 3 months, I've mainly being off loading about the ups and downs of trying and failing to get onto a drugs trial, feeling crap, finally getting some good results and being offered biologics etc plus other usual girlie stuff.
Up until about a month ago I really thought she did understand. Then, a few careless comments, no malice or intention there, but I thought no you really don't get it do you. She is someone whose friendship I value but her unintentional comments are hurtful. So, over coffee one day I tried to explain the spoon theory to her and asked her to google it. I don't think she ever did google it and she sort of found it slightly amusing discussing energy as spoons and now uses this analogy herself ..ie I received a text from her today saying 'I'm having a no spoon day'. I think she completely missed the point of the spoon theory and just finds it an amusing way to describe her own energy levels. I have to say that it's really starting to wind me up now and it makes me feel cross and hurt but as I do value her friendship but think she is thoughtless rather than meaning any malice in her comments so I would like to try and sort it out.
So, any ideas anyone on how I go about this?? I know there have been similar posts in the past about thoughtless friends. I don't want to move on from the friendship as I said and would rather try to get some sort of understanding with her. I am realistic and don't try to think that I can get everyone in my life to understand RA as I know that isn't going to happen. I'm just trying to choose battles that might be worth winning and this is one of them.