I want to work!

Hi everyone,

I know its been a while! I do hope you are all OK!

Well I have been struggling over the last few months with my new treatment, and at Christmas I really felt I had turned a corner. I had two weeks almost pain free - the longest time in 18 months!!!

Anyway, my 12 week trail period with Cimzia came to an end on 3 Feb, and I was called into my head teachers office to ask me how I was. I told him that was still waiting for my consultant to advise me. I am suffering from bullying and harassment at work and now have my union and OT involved.

My job is not safe, and I know that under DDA I should be covered, but schools have their own agenda. My consultant has made it clear that I am not to do first aid due to infections and physical strain. I have to give the letter to the head teacher next Monday.

I was signed off due to stress last week, and have seen a councellor and am on anti-depressents - I hoped injecting and taking numerous tabltes was enough, but it seems I am to be punished more!

Sorry to go on - I just have cried so much, I love my job and it gives me purpose and a reason to get up and get going, but I have started to ask myself 'is it worth it?'

Thanks for listening


18 Replies

  • Pen,

    I've sent you a PM as I have so much to say!! x

  • Spooky PJ .. I work for The AA, have done for some years now. Some months ago I had a "Stage 3" due to the time I have had off in last two years.

    I was given considerable leeway due to the fact my blood is yellow and I am also first class when dealing with breakdowns, my attitude, apathy etc etc...

    But today my manager pulls me, says we need a meeting tommorrow about your "stats" I am not selling enough. When selling it's about objection handling.

    but when in pain or just feeling low it goes out of the window, Rac is cheaper, well go join them then and stop bothering methen, here's there number!!

    I am at that point now, do I just tell them to shuv it as the pressure is just mounting eaxh and every day. They give me space with the time off but not my stats..well to me they are related.

    Well tommorrow its do it's die for me ...lets see what happens :)

    The other side of the coin is ... I have no job, this is a worrying thought.

  • Hi Pete,

    Do try to keep it together tomorrow - make sure you sound keen and willing to "improve". Yes you may want to shove the job, but on your terms not theirs so don't give them an opening to push you out the door. The converstation should be about how your employer can help you, and adjustments that could be made to help you (lower targets perhaps?) so try to steer it that way.....

  • This is very sound advice I think

  • Pete let them finish you and then you have a case for unfair dismissal,also you can go onto jobseekers. I know the js is not a pleasant place to go,as you like me always wanted to work whatever pain i was in. I got made redundant and now i don't think any one would employ me now. You do the best that you can Pete,you can't do anything else.


  • Oh bless you!

    I do hope a favourable outcome is given - having said that I understand the lack of motivation etc and just wonder why there isn't more help for us out there. RA is crap - sorry - and we suffer not only with it but at the hands of everyone who is ignorant too! I am so cross, that we all are in the sdame boat, and there is no real support!

    Urrgggggghhhhhh ......... let me know how you get on please - take care :)

  • Thats awful, I think Helix's gives good advice - I have so wanted to shove it so many times but i am glad i didn't cos i am going to leave in my own time. Good luck - I am so behind the times you messaged this 23 hours ago. I hope it went well today.

  • and.....I even missed the end of masterchef in doing so, which is probably a good thing as it just makes me want to raid my cupboard and with no chance of finding any langoustine bisque I'd have settled for a toffee crisps....

    mmmm toffee crisp yum :)

  • How dreadful to get that reaction from the school when you were starting to feel better. It must be really hard for you to keep on going in if they have so little understanding of RA and on top of bullying. I really do hope that your union and OT people can give you some extra support to help, as it sounds as if you need it. Try to stay strong, and look after yourself as much you can. Polly

  • Hi,

    Just to add my support to whatvthe others have said especially Helix. Try steer the conversation to the management of your condition. I have had meetings like that, and made a conscious effort to take a step back emotionally. It is emotional talking about your health.

    Try to think what you would liketo take away from the meeting. Ie. Objectives. Bounce the ball into their court, ask them questions? Like will you have to answer the same questions in a years time? Re iterate your level of commitment. Talk about their education with regard to your condition. Let them know. That RA chose you and not the other way around. Be positive. Be strong, and be prepared. Write a few notes in advance and practise what you want to say, so that you come across as you are, a good person, going thru a difficult time.

    Sorry if that sounds harsh given how you feel at the moment, but life is not a rehearsal, so give it socks.

    Good luck, Gina.

  • I go with what Gina has said. You go girl. xx

  • Thank you so much all of you - I have wondered if I should try and promote myself, so to speak and not let RA rule me - so with this advice I will make some notes and promote me - wow, thanks, I feel empowered!!

    Bless you all x

  • You ARE empowered, PJ, stay strong, stay positive, you do have to sell yourself, convince the powers-that-be that they need you and your job experience. Then explain how your RA and dealing with it, is just a temporary rock in the road. You can go around it! All the best. L.xx

  • Dear PJ Sorry to hear your experience at work it is so unfair, I dont think it is unreasonable for you not to do first aid and they can surely find some one else to do this task. The OT and union should be able to help you fight your corner.. and you could get them to maybe sort a reduction in hours too, which makes the bad days easier to get through.

    Best wishes

    Alison x

  • PJ so sorry to hear all that you are going through, especially as you are trying to fight RA as well. I really hope you get things sorted so that it works well for you. I am like you in that i love my job and it is just so unfair that you have to through this at all.

  • Hi, try to stay positive, after my first 3 months of cimzia i continued to improve for a further few months. If you feel that you are coping ok with your job and enjoy it then try to convey that to your boss. Have the tears at home by all means as its so hard to adjust to living with RA but hold your head high at work and tell yourself' i'm worth it!

    A year on Cimzia, im now thinking whether i can carry on with my job - but want to go when iv'e made that decision if i can, not when they want to push me onto the scrap heap!!

    Try to look back 3 months and see some positive changes, and point that out to them too as sometimes its so gradual its not always obvious until you look back.

    Chin up, dont let them beat you, take care and keep us posted, x

  • Sorry to come so late to this PJ but just to offer my wholehearted support to you and to Pete. I'm self employed and currently to tired to get much done but reading all this makes me feel very lucky to be able to suit myself to some degree - although it's going to be much harder when I start looking for public art commissions and education stuff again I know. If you love your jobs you both need to make this clear and follow Polly and Gina's advice re making it clear that RA chose you and it's not something any one in their right minds would want to be landed with but you are doing your best under the circumstances. TTx

  • Thank you so much all of you - I have wondered if I should try and promote myself, so to speak and not let RA rule me - so with this advice I will make some notes and promote me - wow, thanks, I feel empowered!!

    Bless you all x



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