Well i have been to the drs this morning.Well it seems it is a culmination of everything kicking my butt at the moment. Started by the weather and depression thrown in as well then ra/fibro/cfs/sjorgens adding their two penneth to the mix. She gave me a good check over anyway. I have no temprerture and my chest is clear as well. She did say i have to lower my expectations a bit and try not to do too much and she reminded me i am chronically ill. She said if i don't improve i have to go back and she will see what she can give me,bearing in mind i am aon a lot of drugs already that has antidepreesants in them and she is reluctant at this time to add to the mix,but i will give credit where its due she did listen to me and let me go on. xxxxxxx
Been to the doctors this morning.....: Well i have been... - NRAS
Been to the doctors this morning.....
You need to be a little bit kinder to your body love I know we don't like being told to slow down and be careful but we all need to do it take care love ❤️ Dawn
I agree Dawn......I now take it to easy...if I don't finish a job one day it will still be there tomorrow.
I have shampooed one side of each stair step this morning(so I can still go up & down!) will do the other side tomorrow! It used to drive me mad not being able to get everything finished in one go, but I have decide having less painful hands is preferable to getting everything done in one go!
Tree looks great 👍You have a nice Xmas to look forward too x
Glad you we're listened to. It helps. Sending hugs.
Everyone of your comments are right and i wish it wasn't like that. It hurts me seeing my hubby doing everything for me despite the fact he is 12yrs older than me.xxxx
Sylvi, at times like this I start counting my blessings and lose focus on all the jobs that need doing ...
Thankful that I was granted retirement on health grounds 14 months early, giving me precious months at home before losing my OH to his 2nd heart attack 4 weeks short of my 60th and 6 months short of his 70th ...
Thankful that he was spared seeing me diagnosed RA 13 years later, as I know it would have pained him greatly ...
Thankful that my grandchildren are old enough to fondly reminisce about their fun times with 'Granpa' at the beach, fun-fair and Nativity plays in his retirement years when my work commitments kept me away ...
Thankful that my energy levels are such that I stopped feeling guilty aeons ago ...
I agree with Dawn: you need to be kind to yourself ...
Looking very festive already, Sylvi. It's not even December yet, hehe!
On a serious note, I'm sorry you're feeling down. You've been through a lot lately, been really quite poorly. If you don't mind me saying, I think you can be quite hard on yourself but you shouldn't. You try really hard and you should be proud of yourself for that.
Have you looked into things other than anti-depressants? It's common to have a dip in mood with depression in the winter. Sad lamps aren't cheap but are meant to be very good. Make sure your vitamin D isn't low. There are online cognitive behavioural courses or even workbooks. Also, I am partial to a bit of mindfulness. It's certainly not a cure but I have some apps on my iPad and I find it relaxing when I start to feel overwhelming with negative thoughts. I try to get outside, even if I walk around the garden once. Obviously you can't do serious exercise but fresh air (even if it is a bit chilly at the moment!) and stretching your legs can give you a little endorphin boost.
I know it's hard. We are all here for you. Xx
Darling i try to get out in the sunshine and yesterday was a lovely sunny day when we went to the drs and yes i felt brighter for getting out. It was very cold though. Your right i can be hard on myself darling. I am a virgo and that is a trait of my star sign. I do adult colouring to help me relax which i love,i have been doing it for nearly two years. I try so hard to help my hubby and i am my own worst enemy.
Thank you darling for your support.xxxxx
Lovely tree sylvi- bet you did that didn't you?
As others have said sylvi give yourself a break and don't expect too much.What you can't finish today will still be there tomorrow. Try a bit of TLC.
My hubby is also 12 years older than me,I too feel guilty that he is doing most things for me.Some days I am up to,cooking if hands and fingers not too bad and we usually cook together so he can move pans around for me and reach stuff from cupboards.Other says he will cook.
He does the washing,hoovering shopping and in the mornings he helps me in/ out shower and on really bad days used to dress me but on that score now I just stay in pjs all day.I always thought up would be me who would be looking after him given the age difference and urn the otherwise around.He is 70 in February bless him.
I am a bit of a control freak and he tries to do everything perfectly as well but it's impossible sylvi I have had to learn that.I sometimes sit in the lounge and spot a cobweb and it drives me nuts that I can't get up,get a duster and get it from there.I have to wait until hubby comes into room and I mention it.I am sure sometimes he thinks I am trying to pick fault I am not its just I know that cobweb up there and it's sends me crackers!!
So sit back don't overdo it- (because you always do ,) and then you wont make yourself Ill over Xmas.- you or hubby certainly don't want that! There's over 20 days before Xmas day so space out your tasks so you are not pressurised before then.
And if something isn't done before Xmas does it really matter? You will still see your family and friends and they will still love you..
Slow down and enjoy the festivities.
Crusee
XX
Blimey girl you and your hubby could be us. Mine is 12yrs older me and i expected to look after him like you. Many a time i have to bite my tongue,the best example of that is when he hangs the washing on the line the sheets just get thrown ove the line and i think what a waste of line space,but yes i now bite my tongue or not go out there when he hangs the washing. Lie you i bet you love your hubby dearling and would do what you can to help him,thats where i go wrong as i try too hard to help him.xxxx
Well sylvi sometimes I feel as if l a real bossy cow.
Here he is running around after me and tending to everything I need without a word of complaining, and all I can do us moan about a cobweb in the lounge.
Yes I have to bite my tongue also with some of the things he does.but the crux of it is he does them - I can't so I Must keep my mouth shut now and be grateful.I couldn't function any day without him so I will settle for a cobweb in the lounge now and again so I can still have him.
Wonder if he has put those files Way in th spare room yet because they can't stay there over Xmas................?
See you've got me at it now.
Take care
Crusee
XX
How mine puts up with me god only knows. I snapped at him last night and i ended up in tears because i felt so ill. I don't feel a lot better this morning. He has his routine,monday is doing the beds. wednesday evening after our baths the towels will get done. |\\\\I worry about his health as he is suffering fron stress.xxxxx
My hubby has his routines for different days ,but then I have a hospital or doctors appointment that day and so it messes up,his plans.
So my conditions don't just affect me and my life,it affects him too if not more.
This is all a far cry away from what I had planned for our retirement.
And selfishly how could I cope for myself if he became ill and more importantly how comic I manage to look after him.
A very thin strand of cotton is holing all this together and if that breaks --- well who knows what will happen?
Life is precious sylvi enjoy it while you can and stuff the housework!!
Crusee
XXX
You and me both sylvi.
I had been squirrelling money away like nobody's business as I wanted us to have little holiday home abroad- nothing flash just somewhere we could use as a bolt hole for a month or so at a time.But I have recurrent dvts which are now a problem,plus of course getting a mobility scooter arranged and at the airport,and carrying a- it makes it all the more stressful for hubby and that was not in the plan.
When I feel guilty about it and talk to,him about how I Feel he just says well that's ok,we can look at doing something different.- what can I say?
He looks at things more practically but I get all emotional and upset about things - perhaps he is what keeps me sane and grounded.
Good thing we are all different isn't it?
Crusee
XX
I get very upset with myself because i am so ill and i don't see a way out of it yet,but i will find a way somehow. I think today is just sit and rest for me.xxxxxx
Good idea sylvi.
I'm going to do the same and I will stay in my pjs today ,no point in getting dressed now!
I fell back off to sleep around 7.30 ish and just woke about 10 mins ago.
The house has been shut up,for 3 days while have been away and dust has collected especially in the tv and Stan- it is a black one a dust magnet.
But do you know when sun shines thru the window at a certain angle and catches the dust it almost looks magical !! Ha ha
So I will sit here and watch the pretty patterns and not stress out out about the mess.
Have a good day sylvi.
Crusee
XX
I never got to push mine in the promised bath-chair and threaten to let go on the slope outside if he got cranky ...
