Angry

I have a disabled badge and yesterday I was having a rare day of feeling fairly ok. So I drove a short distance ( the only distance I feel comfortable with these days). Anyway, I parked my car in a disabled bay and as I got out and started to walk to the shop a man walking past said to me why have you got a badge you don't look disabled. He then said to his wife that they give them to anyone these days. I said I was entitled to one and that I was not about to explain my medical condition to him. He then saw someone in a wheelchair and said to me now there is someone who deserves one. I went into the shop and could feel him watching me. I just got what I needed and got out as fast as I could. I got in my car and burst into tears. There are some ignorant people around. Wished I could have thought of something clever to say back to him. Unfortunately, this is not the first time it has happened.

31 Replies

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  • You shou,d have told him to f""k off as he didn't know what he was talking about. I know how upset you felt as i had something similar happen to me when i first went out on my scooter and the man in question got swore at quite loudly,but it did upset me and i haven't been to the carnival since.xxxxx

  • I am so sorry you had to experience that. There are some very ignorant people in the world who should be pitied. I think it is the people who abuse the blue badge who are to blame in some ways. I really hope this never happens to you again xxxxx🌸🌸

  • Hi Ellieellie, people are just so ignorant, they seem to think you should only have one if in a wheelchair, this is not always the case when you have RA, I have had a blue badge for many years, I can't use a stick, due to not having any strength in my hands, wrists and shoulders. I can't walk any distance, so my car is my lifeline. Just rise above it, you have been given one because you need it, same as me. Nowadays because of foot fusions and a collapsed ankle I look disabled. I used to get some funny looks, my sister was with me once and someone made a comment and she said if you had her problems for one day you would just shut up, you haven't got a clue !!!! They walked off. We don't have to explain ourselves, as upsetting as it. What does annoy me is people who park in disabled bays without a badge. I have complained to parking attendants and left them to sort it out. Just take good care of yourself. X

  • I am so sorry you had to experience this- yes there are quite a few really ignorant and rude people in the world. But don't let it put you off using the Badge - it is YOURS and not his (or indeed anyone who makes stupid comments). Best wishes x

  • I wouldn't be brave enough to do this...but my friend says it works a treat. ...

    When some moron says something again....look very down & say ." I have this dreadful contagious disease & it,s better if I park away from people like you"

    Apparently there are a number of reactions...but usually the moron runs a mile.

  • There will always be ignorant people Ellie, it's just unfortunate you came across one. When I was having a 'better' day I didn't used to use my blue badge, I do now even if I feel ok because I've learnt the hard way. Don't let one ignoramus upset you, odds on he's probably a chancer & miffed that he wasn't awarded one. I'd have been tempted to reply "& you don't look stupid, shows how looks can be deceiving"!

  • I had the same all the time when I could barely walk. I asked one man 'what does disabled look like?'

    I don't entertain people's ignorance. Who made them the blue badge police?

  • Yes it's awful. Maybe we should report these hate crimes against disabled people.

    They do keep statistics on it I believe . ☹️️

  • What an arse!

  • unfortunately if people cannot see something wrong then you are not ill. My father had a disabled badge due to heart condition, and was told he did not deserve badge as well. i can only say please do not let them hurt you they are just trying to look out for what they think a disabled person is i.e. needs wheelchair, until there is more understanding of other illnesses then people will still see you as a "fit" person as pain is not visible. hope you are ok

  • First class ignorant person and they have no idea how hard it is to qualify for a blue badge I would have totally blanked such a rude person don't let it upset you just be thankful you aren't like them frightened you have something they haven't got. They can have this illnesses and my blue badge anyday

  • People can be so rude and really need to mind their own business. The most imoortant thing is that you do what is best for you and your health. When people hurt my feelings by being rude I just try to remember Karma ...what goes atound comes around !!!!!

  • Hi Ellieellie,

    how awful for you but please don't be put off using your badge. As everyone here has said, these are stupid, ignorant people. We campaign hard to get people to understand that you can't tell just by looking at a person that they are disabled and that there are these "invisible" conditions. Hopefully one day all people will understand this.

    Best wishes

    Beverley (NRAS Helpline)

  • Yes just rise above it Ellie these ignorant people are not just worth bothering about and haven't got a life , just carry on as you are and look after yourself , if any off these ignorant people had to swap places they wouldn't be so smart

  • I totally agree with all the above comments and agree to totally ignore the ignorant pig.

    Another thing that annoys me with a lot of the supermarket car parks round here that 'mother and child' spaces are the nearest to the entrances and disabled ones are the furthest away. It doesn't seem like rocket science to me that disabled people are going to struggle more to enter a supermarket than a mother and child who can both walk normally. Sorry about that and the rant is now over. Not had a good day today and something's just really bug you.

  • I think the same. Some car parks have disabled bays further away than M&C or normal bays. Ok they have allowed extra space to open doors fully, but its the distance to the shop that counts too. It also annoys me when people pull up into a disabled bay, no badge, run into the shop as if to say, "I'll only be a minute", or "it's Sunday, disabled people wont be needing this bay"!!

  • Just laugh at them. I'd say something like 'pity they don't give them out for ignorance, you'd certainly qualify!' Then walk away. Problem is I wouldn't have though of it at the time!!

  • Something similar happened to me last year. My daughter and I had finished shopping. I got back in the car whilst she loaded shopping and put trolley away. Whilst I was sitting there I took my badge down from the dashboard, she got in and I started to pull out.

    There was a couple coming out of the shop and I could see them looking at us, shaking their heads, tutting and sighing.... I drove up the car park and they were still doing it so in the end I stopped, opened window and asked if there was something wrong. He said 'well you've parked in a disabled spot and your not entitled to' still shaking his head..! My daughter grabbed my badge from the centre console, leant across me waving it and said, actually she is entitled to.

    He did have the grace to say sorry and did actually look ashamed. Let's hope he's not so quick to judge next time.

    It's not nice is it. Do people not realise that actually I would far prefer to be able to walk to the shop and carry three bags of shopping home than park in a disabled spot and have to take my daughter with me as I can't lift anything or push the flipping trolley!!!

    Hope you're ok xx

  • Yes I am now but the whole thing frustrates me. Do I have to go round with a sign saying yes I am disabled , I just don't look it. I am giving up work because of this condition. Have no idea what I am going to do with all these spare hours.

    Also waiting on hearing if I qualify for PIP. If I get a letter saying I don't I think I will write back and thank them for curing me !!!!

  • Good you are learning, I retired 11 years ago and don't know how I had time to work, true I have many hospital appointment, but not stressed that work doesn't understand plus quite a few ops and not having to rush back to work. My house and garden get done, but at my pace. I still have DLA as aged 71 so I know know it's not fair you have to go through the new system. I wish you all the best. X

  • I meant to add, I had to retire at 60, everyone in the company did. That was before the law came in that allowed you to work till you wanted. My rheumatologist had wanted me to give up earlier or go part time, but with a mortgage I couldn't. I didn't finish my mortgage till I was 67, so money was very tight, but somehow I managed. I thought I would miss work but I don't. Have time for friends, family and grandchildren. Hope it all works out for you.x

  • Thank you. I am 57 so have 9 years to wait in state pension and I don't have a private pension. Luckily my husband earns enough to support us . I didn't really want to leave but my condition has made the decision for me. I have applied for PIP and am waiting on a decision.

  • Fingers crossed for you re the pip. It's madness you have to go all through that, just another stress you don't need. I hope your health improves with some time to yourself and more rest, when you do retire. X

  • I leave on the 23rd December after 17 years there. My office Christmas meal is also my leaving do. Only a small workforce and some of them not allowed because they should will be busy! Mind you how they know that this far in advance is beyond me. I am so tired of the pettiness of my employers (a family firm). I won't give them a backward glance .

  • Good for you. I worked for a motor insurers as recovery adjuster, the work was very stressful. HR a real pain, but I worked with some lovely people and we all still meet regularly. Ladies who lunch. One of my main managers had wanted to try and keep me on, but higher managers wouldn't let him due to previous lawsuits they had when they tried this..I had been tempted due to the mortgage, but so glad I left, it was meant to be. Always hard to adjust, but you will.

  • I have had this on a few occasions but unfortunately the majority have been other blue badge users, the comment's have been on the lines of my mother/wife/son is in a wheelchair and could not park there as you have parked there, the inference is they need it more than me , I tend to ignore them as its bad enough being as I am and don't need a handbags at dawn argument, I have RA and also had a stroke 12 years ago no field vision and right side weakness and just to compound it I now have a heart problem just to name some of my problems.

  • I've had this happen more than once and my usual reply is "At first glance it's not obvious to the causal observer that you, sir/madam are not only ignorant, you're quite stupid and if they handed out plaquards to jerks, you'd be parking closest to the store every time!"

    I do not suffer mean people well and please remember there will always be cruel and unkind people everywhere. Consider them like you'd consider landscaping along the highway. They exist, they will always be there and they do not require nor do they deserve a moment of your time. But also remember that while there are mean people out there, there are just as many loving and wonderful people out there who are compassionate and understanding. It's there issue, not yours. Please do not let them ruin your day. They don't deserve that power. Nothing wrong with occasionally telling a jerk to F off.

    All the best~

  • Next time someone says......you don't look disabled....reply.....and yes, you don't look stupid either....funny isn't it how looks can be deceiving?

  • My reply to the words you dont look disabled would be

    You dont look like an uninformed idiot either.

  • This is one of the reasons I haven't applied for a blue badge again after it expired because I'm so young driving nice car which isn't dla car but people still assume, it's just the looks and judgement and I'm scared someone would say something to me, horrible with conflict. But it's so sad it's like this! Because 1% of the population screw everyone else over with faulse claims.

  • Please don't let the narrow minded & judgemental stop you applying for a blue badge if you're in need of one Jess. We drive a nice car which isn't mobility funded, it was chosen because it makes driving easier for me & gives me more independence. What you drive & your age is nobody's business but your own & doesn't reflect on the need to park closer to where you need to be. Go for it & turn your head away from the haters I say. x

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