Totally off topic but worried and need to vent - NRAS

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Totally off topic but worried and need to vent

Deeb1764 profile image
51 Replies

Been a mad 3 days with my hubby and I feel sort of shellshocked but also I have the nagging doubts that I also need to get my head round.

Sunday he was working and when he came home said he had smacked the top of his head badly and had a headache, he was convinced bleeding but checked and all Ok.

He went to work Monday and got home about 10 but I was already asleep. He took 2 sleeping pills as he normally does on his first night off and will normally crash for 10ths. He did not make it upstairs and slept in bed downstairs.

When I came down the next morning he was out for the count but about 8am got up and joined me outside and we had a brief chat said head sore but I could tell he was still woozy. Told him go up to bed and I will see you in 4hrs.

He did not get up till 5pm but was still all over the place. I managed to get him to eat and drink some water.

He passed out on the sofa again I went to bed and when I came down on Wednesday he was still out of it. When he came too about 8am he tried to get up and I could see he was almost grey and so unsteady and slurry. I asked him did you take more meds and he said no just paracetamol and I left it at that . He went upstairs to sleep again and I started to worry and checked on him every 30mins. At 5pm he got up Wednesday still and he was all over the place. Shaking slurry and a man that could roll his own in a blink of the eye started what became a 5hr exercise in trying to roll

I then heard a massive crash and found him at the bottom of the stairs and had to try and get him up..

Then we went into crazy mode he put on a jacket and by the time I went out he was in the shed trying to get shears and axe out. I took these away and he then grabbed his long swinging hammer set off across the garden and started to smash apart some old wood chairs and build a fire in the pit. Now I wanted them

Broken down but………..

He swung hammer fell over and again with me pleading to stop.

I went indoors as I was at wits end looked thro lounge window and to my horror he had the fuel can for the lawnmower and pouring what was left over wood. I ran out and got to him as fire went up and pulled him away just in time.

I then found him after I had left him in chair outside then in the car and then another fall and got him inside. At this point I managed to get him to go up and sleep.

11pm I went to bed knowing I would call GP in morning as he would help

And I was convinced Shawn had accidentally taken two lots of sleeping pills.

Shawn was asleep so I lay down in relief but 30mins he woke up saying the cats were running all over him. They weren’t. He then peed himself to side of bed and knocked another pint of water over this was about 6th of day

He went down and I could hear him searching for pills. I told him don’t you dare as I made my was down with him saying not had any I need to sleep. I got there too late another sleep pill went down.

At this point I called 111 who put me thro to a clinical advisor and said we need to send an ambulance. When they arrived at 1am they discussed the bump and queried concussion with sleep pills or had he simply taken too many and of course was it suicide potentially going on. Suicide I said was not on the table he would tell you if he could this is not him.

They took him and eventually 1pm the doctor called to say CT clean but he was out of it. We went thro many options but I had to wait.

He called me at 2 to say I am outside so I called the hospital so said yes been discharged which I was amazed as the 3 texts he had sent me were illegible.

When I finally found him he was walking like a drunk man in the grounds of the hospital unaware of where he was co fused on why he was there and where was I.

24hrs later he has no recollection Of the 3 days but swears blind he only EVER take two sleepy pills once a week and only one tramadol in the morning. He can now talk and is horrified by what he did and what I went thro.

However I suppose I am worried as it was so not him and is there a connection of hitting his head and what then happened.

I feel worried he is still wobbly has a massive headache but won’t take any meds as scared.

Sorry if this does not make sense but I feel the need to vent this as I can’t tell him I am worried but he has agreed we speak to our GP Monday when returns from his holiday.

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Deeb1764
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51 Replies
Madmusiclover profile image
Madmusiclover

You poor love. Sounds like concussion to me. Hope he is ok and things settle soon.

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toMadmusiclover

Part of me really hopes it is I know I had it once unaware and a week later had to go to hospital. Only remembered that today x

Lolabridge profile image
Lolabridge in reply toMadmusiclover

Yes let's hope that's what it is and that it will pass soon. x

Bella59 profile image
Bella59

What a worrying time you have had I hope gp can see your husband soon.It seems he is still not well and needs another check over.Hope things improve soon for you both.

rabbits65 profile image
rabbits65

Yes your text message made complete sense to me and you must have been worried silly and also must still be very worried . I think it’s obvious to me that this injury to his scull is to blame for his very out of character behaviour . I don’t know how you coped . Well done to you for coping . How is he now? Maybe you could try a phone call to his GP and explain everything just like you have done in your text here. I wish you and your hubby well .

Flor1rence profile image
Flor1rence

omg what a worry for you, I hope you get some joy on Monday, let us know how you get on💕x

Mmrr profile image
Mmrr

Goodness what a worry. A chat with your GP on Monday sounds in order.I hope you both have a peaceful weekend.

RAexperiences profile image
RAexperiences

What a scary situation. If he continues with the confusion and erratic behaviour I’d be tempted to return to A and E (emerg). Sounds very scary. I sure hope he is well soon. Certainly his GP should be made aware…best wishes

sylvi profile image
sylvi

I would take him back to A&E as he is clearly not well darling.xxxx

Ascidian profile image
Ascidian

Hi Deeb. So sorry to hear about your hubby. This may sound silly, but have you checked WHAT the CT scan was of? My mother fell and banged her head and had a bleed on the brain. When I finally managed to persuade them to take her to hospital (by blocking the Out of Hours GP into her driveway and telling him I had just driven 240 miles because I was so convinced she was ill), they scanned her chest in case of clots, despite the fact that I told them she had banged her head! They only scanned her brain after I found her unresponsive in a chair beside her hospital bed and they had to call the crash team. To be fair, it was complicated by the fact that it had been a slow bleed, and it was a few weeks after the fall that her behaviour really became odd. They did then drain the bleed and she was OK. Do please push for another scan if he is still behaving oddly. And please talk to 111 again if he is not better this morning - don't wait until Monday xxx

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toAscidian

Yes it was a head scan and showed no bleeds etc. I know the a&e was rammed and initially told he was being kept in then 2 hours later a call from Shawn saying I am outside. I was RA running around a complex trying to find him as they just let him walk out in a disorientated state and no clue of where he was / He luckily saw the COVID vaccine building that he took me too 2 weeks earlier and remembered it and that was where I located him

Ascidian profile image
Ascidian in reply toDeeb1764

Gosh, so strange that they would discharge him

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toAscidian

I think under pressure and just decided he was a druggie/self inflicted for some reason and let him go!

Ascidian profile image
Ascidian in reply toDeeb1764

Please don't let them get away with thinking that. The GP who saw my mum had assumed she was just going senile. It was only the fact that I had driven 240 miles to check up on her that convinced him to reassess. They make assumptions because they are so busy. Only you can tell them if those assumptions are wrong. I would definitely call 111 if he is not significantly better

lupus_01 profile image
lupus_01

I agree he needs to go back to hospital. I have heard of lots of stories that involved a bang on the head followed by bleed on brain days/weeks later. Do not leave it.

janmary profile image
janmary

Sounds like he needs a full neurological assessment including why he banged his head in the first place - write down a summary to give to whichever route you go - GP 111 or Aand E. What a worry to add to your list

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply tojanmary

It was at work an old building with low doors and he is 6ft2 and in a chef rush forgot to duck on a beam!

janmary profile image
janmary in reply toDeeb1764

Ouch! Hope he’s better today

L-ttie profile image
L-ttie

This must have been a very frightening experience for you and even tho things have settled you’ll be feeling anxious and worried.And Shawn too.Im so sorry.Youve got a very clear picture of what happen so if you could put it into an easy to read list form of what happened when and keep it ready for either the GP or if necessary another visit to A and E. If the headache continues or there is any change at all in how Shawn feels or behaves then don’t hesitate to either ring 111or go straight to A and E .I do hope things improve and I’ll be thinking if you both this weekend.

katieoxo60 profile image
katieoxo60

What an ordeal and still no change , I would be inclined to chase it further with the department who discharged him as Ok. It most likely is concussion. Delay in attending the hospital after the head injury possibly made them think he was Ok and recently I had an Xray and was wrongly informed of the damage, so mistakes do happen. You say you feel like they were treating him like a drug addict , I can understand that if he takes Tramadol as I sometimes feel like that as I take tramadol for arthritic pain in small doses. The symptoms may be a mixture of the head injury and the type of drugs he takes. I trully hope this gets sorted for your sake sooner than later and hope you feel better for having shared your trauma. Hospital can be a harrowing experience these days, especially as patients have to deal with it themselves even when quite poorly. Take care and hope hubby is better very soon.

Mumcon profile image
Mumcon

Oh my what a time you’ve had I hope you get help from your gp I think maybe the hospital discharged him to fast X

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toMumcon

Me too but we are in a slightly better place today than yesterday so fingers x. I just need to figure out how to rescue the burnt grass and clear up the mess he made out there.................

Mermaid11 profile image
Mermaid11

Hi Dee, Sounds like a traumatic few days you have both had. Will you get to speak to the GP on Monday or will hubby have to call himself? I think its important for you to express your concerns that he was discharged so soon and how it's totally out of character. I understand the hospitals are at capacity but what if something else had of happened.

I know you will be trying to stay positive for him as that's who you are, but don't forget to look after yourself too. Let me know if you need anything xx

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toMermaid11

I am planning to have an open call so both can speak as Shawn has no memory of 3 days and our GP back on Monday so that is the aim. Shawn is now in a I am not touching anything even with a bad headache but cold turkey to get thro weekend as he does not want to touch the meds the hospital gave him either.

Boxerlady profile image
Boxerlady

What an awful experience all round 😢Hope that he continues to improve and that you have a productive call with the GP on Monday. If he doesn't improve or if the headache continues, call 111 - they might at least be able to put his mind at rest about taking something for the pain.

And forget about the mess - not a priority in the circumstances!

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone

I have got to say this…if anyone ever has to deal with somebody who has had head trauma & wants to sleep…please call an ambulance immediately.It’s better to over react …than face possible very serious consequences.

I am very pleased your husband has now recovered…but please do get help sooner if anything like this happens again.

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toAgedCrone

He thought it was just a nasty bump on Sunday and went to work on Monday. I will definitely call 111 as I just did not think concussion at all as we all bump our heads during life. But thank you

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toAgedCrone

Plus I always thought concussion meant you blacked out even if for a tiny amount of time but apparently not!

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply toDeeb1764

Think about it…skulls aren’t very thick & your brain is enclosed inside.Never hesitate to get medical attention after a head injury….even if the person involved says they feel fine.

I broke my neck sitting in a stationary car that was rear ended. I did go to the hospital, I did have an MRI scan and two years later it was found I had fact damaged two discs in my neck …..which were operated on within 48 hours of my check up. Had I not had that surgery, I would never have stood up again.

Head & neck injuries are serious. ……

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toAgedCrone

It was certainly a wake up call for both of us this week how fragile the head is! Your experience a friends Dad went thro something similar.

ElizabethW profile image
ElizabethW

Oh dear, what a harrowing time you have had! The hospitaI let him go off alone in that condition! I sincerely hope he will be better soon.

medway-lady profile image
medway-lady

He was checked for a mild stroke I hope. I seem to recall somebody who had similar symptoms and it was the forerunner to a much bigger stroke. Confusion can't be ignored and I'm surprised he was let out on his own but then nothing is normal now so I'd urge you to ask to go to GP with him and ask if he can have more tests as I can't believe this is something due to sleeping pills. It just doesn't sound right. He has to have had a discharge note have you checked that as a copy goes to GP and it might indicate what was the diagnosis.

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply tomedway-lady

When I located him he was confused and eventually found a prescription in his pocket and no discharge papers. I had called pre collecting him to check he had been released and not escaped as such but yes GP Monday as I am not convinced he has been sorted. Still woozy and unsteady but can talk at least.

medway-lady profile image
medway-lady in reply toDeeb1764

Another thing to think about is being drugged. Not on purpose but say a spiked drink. It may well be a head injury but could be so many other things. I hope he's now a bit better. x

Moomin8 profile image
Moomin8

OMG! That sounds horrendous!!!Poor you; poor hubby! Definitely needs a GP visit to discuss these even, and how to move safely forward. Take care x

Mandalou profile image
Mandalou

Deeb1764,Firstly, I read your post with horror and utmost sympathy as to what you and your husband have been through.

I really sympathise as I have had to cope alone with an elderly adult with hallucinations and paranoia.

May I suggest something for your GP visit.

Print out your post that you have shared with us. And take it to your GP. It was honest, raw and shows in detail the time line of what happened.

If I was in your position I would get to the GP’s surgery early. Pass a printed copy in an envelope to the receptionist saying this is crucially important information regards our appointment today.

This way the GP can read it before you go in and he/she will be aware from the outset of the purpose of your visit.

You will feel you have been listened to and won’t stumble or get things out of synch or forget an important detail.

I have done this sort of thing many times as an advocate for my Mother. It means that the patient can be listened to and examined but your experience can be dealt with sensitively as it can hold vital information.

I sincerely hope you are ok and getting support as you must have been absolutely demented with shock and concern.

Good luck and as others have said, don’t let people sleep after a head injury before they have had medical attention if they are showing signs of out of the ordinary drowsiness amongst other signs and symptoms.

Mx

Jesus. Sounds like a head injury. I would go to A&E and get him checked out again. Brain damage causes all kinds of strange behaviours etc. Look on the ‘Headway’ site and have a read and maybe ask some questions on there (part of HU). Keep an eye out and be wary..

I really wouldn’t wait until Monday. Go to the hospital now and sit with him as a witness to everything, and challenge them if need be. People with head injuries are supposed to be monitored for 24 hours/ or at least overnight.

Gillybob19 profile image
Gillybob19

Hi Dee, how's he doing today? Hope things have improved for both of you x

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toGillybob19

He is starting to eat but very upset bowel but he has diverticulitus so that could be grumbling from the stress of the week a bit wobbly but he can actually talk now and remember things that happen in the day.

Neonkittie17 profile image
Neonkittie17

I hope things are steadier now and what a shock for you seeing/being physically involved in all of this trying to stop your hubby doing things which could have caused harm. He must feel like it happened for someone else. It was a shock to even read it 😑. I hope you’re both having a calm weekend and all that hasn’t caused your fibro and RA to get worse .. if that’s possible for it to feel worse at the moment. 😢 Thinking of you. X

PS A really good idea to have the 3 way talk: you/Shawn/GP. Your comments and account will tell them so much more.

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply toNeonkittie17

thats the plan 3 way chat as he has no memory at all only seen the devastation so he knows it was bad. He told me I should have knocked him out!! He is very tired and a bit wobbly but tomorrow we can get the GP involved and go from there.I am covered in bruises from trying to pick him up or grapple tools of him. He was not being horrible just me trying to stop more chaos!

Neonkittie17 profile image
Neonkittie17 in reply toDeeb1764

I know from everything you’ve ever posted that your hubby would not want to be horrible to you. You must have pulled/hurt so many tendons and muscles as well as bruising, trying to stop him. 😑 I hope his diverticulitis calms. Wishing you a calm and sunny afternoon. 💗

Dobcross1 profile image
Dobcross1

Dee, I'm late to this but wanted to say how sorry I am that you and Shawn have had such a shocking and traumatic few days on top of everything you've got going on. Hope call with GP brings some clarity and that things are calmer for you now. Thinking of you. X

Take care. Hope it goes well tomorrow.

kellymomcars profile image
kellymomcars

Hi Dee. You mentioned Tramadol in your post. I had a weird experience with Tramadol and my mother recently. She had hip revision surgery in December, and was discharged to rehab after a week in the hospital. She had been given tramadol and codeine (alternating) for pain, and doing fine with it. Once at rehab, she started acting very strange. She became extremely anxious and fidgety. She was fine when I would leave, and then I'd get a panic call from her saying the nurses were going to let her die and they weren't doing anything. When I rushed back, she was obviously not in any health risk -- just acting off the chart agitated. After getting her calmed down, she started staring at the corners. She said there were "little things" crawling in the corners. She asked if I could hear the music. This weird behavior went on for a couple of days with her mostly being fidgity , anxious, mistrustful, accusitory and thinking she was dying. I had to try something before the medical staff labelled her a mental case and gave up on her. At times, she even accused me of being mean to her. I made an assumption that the Tramadol most likely was causing this weirdness. Got ahold of medical staff and cut off all tramadol. After one full day, she settled back down to more normal behavior. What's even weirder, is that she doesn't remember her behavior. It's a really good drug, but I'm convinced it messed with my mother something fierce (and this was after taking it for over a week with no problems). I hope you and your husband together figure out what's going on. I just knew that this was not normal for her, and that I had to help her quickly to figure out what made her act that way to get her back. I also knew that I had to reassure her that I was 100% her champion and protector (even when she was mad at me) as she was so very scared. Prayers to you and your husband.

Deeb1764 profile image
Deeb1764 in reply tokellymomcars

Thank you for this hubby is used to Tramadol and can only take one in the morning if needed but I think concussion plus sleeping pills as did not realise he had concussion seems to be the issue, However a chat with our GP tomorrow will hopefully help sort all his fears and mine and then move on slowly. x

Fruitandnutcase profile image
Fruitandnutcase in reply toDeeb1764

Have just seen this. How awful, it must have been horrific for you - hope things are ok for you both at the moment.

Hi

That must have been so stressful. Hope you are both Ok.

I'm not medically qualified but his behaviour sound similar to 'delirium' which I've witnessed before with an elderly relative in hospital with a Urinary Tract Infection. It can also be caused by injury, stroke and drug toxicity.

Good luck with the doctor today.

Take care. xx

Hobbledehoy profile image
Hobbledehoy

Blimey, no wonder you've been worried sick! You're quite right, he really does seem to need thorough investigation. Even his regular weekly medication needs review. What a fright you've had! Best wishes to you both xx 💌

Stowe profile image
Stowe

Oh my gosh Deeb, that sounds awful what you have both been through, how is your husband now? What did the GP say? Hope your both OK now.

happytulip profile image
happytulip

Only 90% of cranial bleeds are picked up on CT which is why you need an lumbar puncture to definitively rule out a bleed. CTs are a very good diagnostic tool but on rare occasions only a MRI scan can pick up what is sometimes missed on a CT.I hope he is OK now, if not go with your gut. He is your husband and you know him best.

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