Finally: So finally I have made the decision to stop... - NRAS

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Finally

Ellieellie profile image
15 Replies

So finally I have made the decision to stop working. I am 57 (so will have to wait for my pension.) I have found it more and more difficult to do my job (Estate Agent) . Each morning takes me longer to get going and get myself ready. I get up earlier to try and ease the stiffness. Styling my hair, makeup etc takes me longer if my hands are not good. Then driving, sitting for long periods, writing and using a keyboard are no longer so easy.

It's a hugh decision for me and my husband as we will lose my income but it's no longer feasible for me to work. I have cut my hours over the years but can cut no further.

I have worked bar two years when my son was born since I was 18. I had breast cancer in 2010 on top of the RA. My employers are not sympathetic and I think they forget I have this condition because outwardly I look ok.

I will admit to being worried about stopping but I guess we will cope and cut our cloth to suit. it will be strange for me to be dependant on someone else for money and I won't be able to be as extravagant.

I have applied for PIA so will see what happens there but people tell me it's not an easy procedure and can get stressful. So all in all life is about to change. I have decided to leave at the end of this year. I have been there 18 years and part of the furniture. I know the owners nephew who is a manager wants young, hungry workers so I think he will be happy for me to go.

It's awful to come to this decision but my health and quality of life is more important. I will admit to bring apprehensive.

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Ellieellie profile image
Ellieellie
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15 Replies
sylvi profile image
sylvi

I know your not happy about giving up work,but i feel it is the right thing to do for you.I got made redundant nearly seven years ago and was adamant that i wanted to get another job,but my work advisor told me that "Sylvia your not fit to work" and sadly he was right. I can assure you that you will manage and new things will come for you to do when your feeling up to it. I do adult colouring books to while away the time and i have my little garden when i am able. My hubby has an allotment and i go down there with my camera and talking about my camera my hubby got one as a gift when he retired and i have had no end of fun with it and i am getting better at it and it is something i can do when i feel bright. Hugs to you.xxxx

helixhelix profile image
helixhelix

Do just check that your pension provider doesn't have some option for paying out an early retirement on medical grounds - some do.

Anyway, I did the same as you and left work early (I didn't have the energy to push for medical retirement...which I should have done!). But even so it was the best decision I made.

My health is miles better, and my RA is mainly in remission now as I have time to look after myself properly and eat well, sleep properly and exercise. As for money, it was only after I left that I realised how much work was costing me! Clothes, travel, endless expensive cups of coffee, expensive processed food as didn't have time to cook, and so on. We had to make some changes to our way of life, but have found if we spend money wisely if anything we have a better standard of living than we did before! We certainly eat better for about a third the cost....

It's a big change, particularly not having the day to day conversations etc with colleagues, but there are some big positives too.

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to helixhelix

I second what you say helixhelix.....when I retired I worked out how much going to work had cost me...I was on a very good salary & wondered how I would manage on my pension. But as you say clothes, travel & particularly the odds & ends you pick up in your lunch hour really add up! I was horrified to find it amounted to almost a third of my net salary! What idiot in her right mind pays £25 for a lipstick? Guilty I'm afraid!

That was ages ago & now I don't need those really expensive business type clothes, (& lipsticks!) I find life is not the penny pinching existence I feared.

So elliellie don't stress....just look forward to not having the pressure of having to rush from AtoB, & look forward to how much better your RA should be.

On a more practical note .....do you get sick pay in your job? Maybe if things get too stressful you could go on sick leave until you actually retire?

Happy Retirement!

Ellieellie profile image
Ellieellie in reply to AgedCrone

I do get sick pay but I will carry on for the next few months. I will only qualify for state pension and that will take years to start. I am lucky that my husband earns a fairly decent salary and he has private pensions. He reckons we won't notice a big difference as he pays the majority of the bills anyway and we do put a lot into savings. So we will just have to cut down on what is saved to cover my portion of the bills. I hope this time next year I can look back and think that I made the right decision .

AgedCrone profile image
AgedCrone in reply to Ellieellie

I really do think losing the stress you are under with your job will help your RA.

To make you feel better I'm single & was made redundant at 55 & decided not to look for another job.....I downsized my house & lived on savings until my pensions kicked in at 60 (yes I'm that old I got my OAP at 60!) & I'm still here clothed & fed ...so please stop worrying.....it will all work out to your advantage!

Ellieellie profile image
Ellieellie in reply to AgedCrone

Thank you x

Ellieellie profile image
Ellieellie

Thank you

It is a tough decision to leave the working world. The thought of less money coming into the home is scary and very stressful. It has taken me 5 months to realize that my husband and I are not suffering with the $1000.00 a month drop in pay as I am on a 2 year temporary sick pension. We no longer spend our money on frivolous stuff. No more drinking that $5.00 cup of fancy coffee 2 times a day.... We golf on the $25.00 green fee courses instead of the $90 green fee courses. I used to buy all the newest wines that came into my province on a monthly basis. I enjoyed wine tasting festivals. Now I buy the different flavour teas.... I shrudder to think of the money we wasted on wine and spirits in our pre MTX days.... Our mortgage could of been paid off. Oh well...

If I am not able to return to fulltime work by June 2017, I will be permanently retired on disability. It took sometime, but I have finally excepted this. Our lives are richer now that I don't have to stress about work and wine. ( Oh we were not alcoholics, wine and spirits was my job lol)

As long as you have a roof over your head, food in your cupboards then who cares if you now have to buy your clothes at Walmart? RA has caused us to re -evaluate our lives and spending habits. We still have love, life, and happiness. Isn't that what life is all about?

Take care

Sue

It made me sad to read your comment about the manager wanting young, hungry people because it probably is true. And the heck of it is that I can understand that too. I was that way early on when I started working too. People forget though that you have been there a long time and are highly skilled in what you do. They also forget that they may owe some of their current success to your long term efforts. But, as they say, at the end of the day, it is what is best for you that counts.

If you can financially afford it until you get your pension, I would agree that it sounds like it might be the best for you. I had a hard time as well when I had to depend totally on my dear husband for all money, but actually you do get used to that too. Then when I got my pension, I started to feel like I was paying my way.

I tried some home business things, but honestly could never come up with anything that I could make money from.

The best of luck with your new venture. I think you may find that you like getting up in the morning and taking your time to get ready, have a coffee or tea, and just move at your own rate.

Ellieellie profile image
Ellieellie in reply to

Thank you. As I said in an earlier reply to someone else I feel better getting positive feedback from you all as you all know what it's like. My husband is encouraging me to stop. He is on a good wage as a Director of a company but it's just me getting my head round it. I do know it's the best decision and the right one x

in reply to Ellieellie

Yeah - I used to make several times more than my DH did in the money department and it allowed us to have a lot of fun while that happened. Now I am just happy and cozy, being home and taking care of him and the kitty. :-)

medway-lady profile image
medway-lady

£25 for a lipstick ? you cheapskate! who in their right mind payed £125 a pot that promises to keep wrinkles away and then the serum and eye cream, lip balm etc. Yes I did ! And I used to have 47 pairs of shoes! just for work. Thing is life after retirement is great I'm far too busy to go to work now !

And as others have said going to work costs a lot, I wish I'd retired earlier so look forward with enthusiasm and make new friends, organise time for hobbies enjoy the garden and countryside and just live because you now have time for you. Its not about the RA but quality of life too.

popsmith1874 profile image
popsmith1874 in reply to medway-lady

Hi I retired medically last month and it's the best thing that happened too me, I'm not any worse off and am at Aqua aerobics 2 a week and go to different classes the rest off the week and it's done me the world off good with being stress free and. keeping myself occupied go for it you'll not look back xxx

Ellieellie profile image
Ellieellie in reply to popsmith1874

Thank you. Will seem so strange not working but I guess I will get over that !

Ellieellie profile image
Ellieellie

Well I won't be going out on my lunch hour spending on clothes I don't really need x

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