Giving up work.: After a lot of deliberation, I have... - NRAS

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Giving up work.

Heathersmum69 profile image
25 Replies

After a lot of deliberation, I have decided that for now,I am going to give up my job as a Dental Nurse. I can't go on pretending that I can do my job,when I am in so much pain with my joints and such terrible fatigue.

I am due to start Biologics sometime soon ,and hope and pray that they will give me back my life. I am going to hate not working,but I hate pretending to my colleagues just as much.

I am hoping to get on my new meds. then look for a new job,before Christmas.

Does that sound reasonable?

Today I have over done it. We have been to Hever castle. We have had a brilliant day ,and the weather was fab.

I have walked a lot today and this evening I am in agony. I have had a warm bath and lots of painkillers and I have watched Downton Abbey,now hopefully I will sleep.

Good night everyone. Sleep tight.

Jane xx

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Heathersmum69
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dtech profile image
dtech

Sorry to hear you are having to give up your job. Let's hope the biological work and sort thing out. Look on the bright side though. At least you won't have to pay your ARF to the GDC, or scrabble around looking for CPD 😉

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69 in reply to dtech

Hi thsnks for replying. I have already paid my ARF for this year ,and I will keep up with my CPD Hopefully one day , I will be well enough to get back into dentistry. I worked hard for my qualification, and I am very peeved that I may have to give it up.

😢

babssara profile image
babssara

Hi Jane

I bet you have mixed feelings. At least you are giving you and your family a chance to get back to how you were before. Health and family first, the rest can follow when you are able.

Hope you feel a little more refereshed after some sleep.

Babs x

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69 in reply to babssara

Thanks Babs, I have major mixed feelings giving up my career that I worked so hard to achieve. I know health comes first ,but I enjoyed the money as well. I will keep up with my CPD , and I am preying that the Biologics work ,so maybe I can get back into it one day .

Today's the day I tell my boss I'm not coming back to work. Wish me luck !

Jane xx

babssara profile image
babssara in reply to Heathersmum69

Hi Jane, honestly since giving up work in NHS, which I did for many, many years and absolutely loved, I really don't know how I did it. Yes, I do miss things like, salary/pension, academia, stats oh everything really, But I found I am now channelling my time (and what skills I can remember I had) in and around this illness. Honestly, its great (the freedom not the illness) when you have a chance to get used to it.

Good luck with today x

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69 in reply to babssara

Thank you.

Have a good day yourself.

Jane xx

magician profile image
magician

congratulations for finding the courage demanded by a tough situation.

I also struggled with work "pretense issues" as well as unreasonable work demands. I have been off work for more than a year and am at peace with it.

Your body might react differently to biologics, but in my case, it took months before showing improvements. My uveitis has not completely resolved despite biologics since 2011. It sort of stabilised though.

I have significantly more bouts of fatigue now, despite being off work and on biologics. Age related? (56 this year) . Being off work allows me to give the body the rest that it craves, and I am sure that this luxury of giving in to my body's need for rest allows me to recuperate faster and to contain ulcérations.

All the best, keep your hopes up!

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69 in reply to magician

Yes it is a tough decision. I enjoy my job a lot .

But Health has to come first . Especially as I am very bad at the moment.

Take care

Jane x

magician profile image
magician in reply to Heathersmum69

Lest we forget (honestly, I am guilty of forgetting): We do work even when we are not employed or paid. We cook, we take care of our dear ones, we do the grocery, do the laundry, we run errands, etc.

Definitely, health has to come first.

All the best

beckywebb04 profile image
beckywebb04

Hi Jane, I just wanted to say I know exactly how hard it can be to continue being a dental nurse with this condition, eapecially as dentists seem less and less capable of doing things for themselves 😂.

I just wanted to ask, did you find any good ways of managing it while at work, and also any good ways of explaining to your employer your limitations? I find it so difficult trying to get them to understand, especially as I'm so young. I hope everything goes well for you and the biologics do their job!

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69

Hi Becky,

I am 45 years old,so consider myself reasonably young. I found work very very hard. I always felt that I was trying to keep up with the other girls who were younger,fitter and not I'll like me. I know they didn't understand RA? Even when I tried to explain it. They weren't very interested. To me that shows ignorance.

Anyway I feel very bitter and cross with myself not being able to work. I need to adjust and hopefully the Biologics will work.

Any good ways to manage work. Work part time at least. I found that I was always too tired and sore in the mornings. Explaining to your employer,well NRAS have a good booklet to give to employers.

This illness is a funny one. I don't mean as ha ha,but on the outside we look fine,but on the inside ,well you know how it is.

Take care, and look after yourself.

Jane x

Hi Jane,

I understand you completely. I had to give up my job 12 years ago because of RA, and related heart problems.

But I get payments every month for disablement. Isn't there such a supply in England?

I live in the Netherlands.

I wish you all the best. Hugs

XxxxxBas

Fra22-57 profile image
Fra22-57

Jane you have done so well to soldier on with your pain.I had to give up work being a cook before I even got to the point of proper RA medication. In my opinion you definitely are being reasonable but also unrealistic. You might be lucky and biologics work for you but they don't work forever.None have worked for me and I have had to try quite a few.They take a toll on your body and have heavy risks. They work for some people and I hope you are one of them and by your story and I can see your pain and struggle but I have tried 3 and I am on steroids and DMARDS and am still suffering as you are. I don't want to sound so depressive but this disease is.Give yourself time.They take a while to get into your system. I was given 3 months before 2 months off then another try on one.To be looking for another job before Xmas sounds crazy seen as your health is so bad.Give yourself time and see how you are if biologics kick in for you

Let us know how you get on

artyjaq profile image
artyjaq

Hi Jane,

Just wanted to reply and show my support for making such a brave and difficult decision. I know exactly where you are coming from as I had to leave my much loved career as a dentist due to RA- I fought so hard to finish my studies and work( I did 10 years on/off!) but after yet another flare, I had to accept that the job is not compatible with my illness, even when relatively controlled. Difficult looking after other people when you feel so bad/fatigued/sore- the worst part is nobody really knows and despite my managers working within the NHS and in a so-called caring profession, they were particularly woeful in their support. And it's easy to forget what you've been told if I looked normal and am young!!

It has taken a few years to get my head round things and only now feel I am moving on but am now beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel. I am becoming more controlled and am able to see my career break as a chance to go in a different direction, one that I hadn't considered before. I want to stay connected to dentistry if I can as I feel I have so much to offer but I have realised I have so many transferable skills; you will too as dealing with the general public daily is a real skill, for one! If you can, keep up the CPD and don't lose hope; you may well get controlled and be able to work again as a nurse but equally, this may be the opportunity to think outside the box and find something else. Have you considered a non-clinical role such as manager? The most important thing, speaking from experience , is to be proud of the decision you have made and concentrate on looking after yourself. Nothing is more important than your health. Good luck with the biologics.

Take care x

dtech profile image
dtech in reply to artyjaq

Quite interesting that there are several of us from the dental profession on here. I'm a dental technician by the way.

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69 in reply to dtech

That is interesting. It's the using the hands with the fine motor skills . How do you manage making dentures and crowns. It must be ever so hard for you?

Jane x

dtech profile image
dtech in reply to Heathersmum69

So far I am lucky. I got diagnosed early so threw all the drugs at it before too much damage done. so it just affected my shoulders and elbow. So far it hasn't affected my hands. I just have to take it easy when I am setting up on heavy functional articulators As I do prosthetics. As it knackers my shoulders. Stuart.xx

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69

Thank you so much for your reply. You are right,dentistry is not a good occupation for someone with RA? I have thought about practice management or even reception work. I have thirty years dental experience. I qualified in 1991.

I am going to keep up my CPD because I know I will want to get back into it at some stage.

What are you doing now? Are you practicing ?

Thanks

Jane x

cathie profile image
cathie

I think you'll feel the benefit of not working for a while. When my mother was first diagnosed back in the 50s she was sent to the hospital in bath and that helped her to adjust. I don't think anyone does that now, but the same idea of giving yourself a break.

Cx

beeckey profile image
beeckey

Hi Jane i know how you feel but sometimes you can only struggle on for so long but you will get no thanks for it.I worked in a pharmacy and worked till i could not hold a pen which i had to be able to do could hardly walk and nearly in tears with the pain by the time my shift was over.When i take the weight of my feet i can not stand again my husband said this can not go on so i finish like you and many others i did not want to but there comes the time when your body will not let you carry on i thought i would get back but i never did so good luck in telling them and we will here how it goes.Betty

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69

Hi Betty

Thank you for reply. I have told my employer today that I am giving in my notice.

They were very nice and said that they would miss me and that it was a shame.

Then as that door closed I felt really sad. Don't get me wrong I am very ill at the moment. This afternoon I had an email inviting me to an interview at Sainsburys .

I applied for this job last week and hadn't heard, then today. Well it is a part time job.only 22 hours but I am pleased in a way. There won't be the pressure of dentistry ,but it will be a little job to keep my mind busy and the money will be useful with Christmas coming.

Take care

Jane xx

EmmaS-NRAS profile image
EmmaS-NRASNRAS

Dear Heathersmum69,

Sorry to hear that you have had to leave your job as a dentistry nurse but hopefully it won't take long to find the biologic drug that is right for you.

In one of your replies earlier you mentioned our 'employers guide'. The work section of our website is full of information on your rights as a worker, the reasonable adjustments employers have to make and where to go for further information.

nras.org.uk/work

If you have any questions about working with RA, or any other area of living with RA, please do contact the NRAS Helpline on 0800 298 7650 or email helpline@nras.org.uk (9.30am to 4.30pm Mon-Fri)

Best of luck with your interview.

Kind regards

EmmaS-NRAS

Heathersmum69 profile image
Heathersmum69 in reply to EmmaS-NRAS

Thank you Emma. I have been in contact and got all the booklets.

Jane

Thank heaven for Downton Abbey and other great British TV shows!

Good luck with the job search and finding something that fits your needs. Sounds like a difficult but wise decision. Cheers Doreen

LesBev profile image
LesBev

I know just where you are with this and you are doing the right thing in my opinion. The stress of trying to push yourself and hide pain simply adds to the stresses of RA anyway. I really hope you start to feel better soon and there will always be another job but you only have one you. as for getting your life back,that is my issue, as a keen hiker I doubt I will ever manage 15 miles on a moorland hike again no matter how good the drugs may eventually be. Maybe we need a new and different life? What do you think?

Lesley

X

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