Life they begins at 50, mine began to be rubbish and not over yet it seems

Well what to say . My main blog tells of my health issues so will not go into it again, Not long ago had Rhuiximib infusion and hoped it was working but as been really to tired to do much , it not been to bad ,so just maybe .... My back with it stenosis hurts but it ok can manage, so hoping but been feeling unwell for a bit pains in side , and problem with going ot the loo, put it down to my radothereapy that evidently can cause problems or years, Anyway went to the docs after about 3 weeks of discomfort , and although thinks it an infeection and gave me lots of antibiotics it stiil a problem but not so bad ,or maybe just distracted by the grotty throat nd cough hav had for a over a week, But while at the docs he decided to send me for the 2 week emergancy check up with my surgery consultant who i see every 6 months re my cancer ,did nt have surgery for it but they like to keep an eye just in case . Well the 2 weeks are up and no call from the hospital, voice gone so can not call the doc and to be honest do not want to. But i know i will have to if not heard by tomorrow , I am 90% sure it not cancer back but the way my luck is that 10% is not good , My Ra and OA is enough to think about ,

I know if my rant is about cancer why on here , well cos it easier and more recent to me , and have not told anyone thet I have to go back 2 months before i should , I dont want anyone to think that i have my cancer back and do not want my kids to worry as they have only just got over the rubbish few years of my cancer , hip replacement s, 2 multipul PE,s hip dislocations , another PE and then to be told they can not operate on m back as prob not survive the op, So am i being a coward or an optimist .Will see tomorrow ,??????

9 Replies

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  • Pam your getting it spades aren't you. What can i say that will help you. You do need to talk to someone and it might as well be us on here. I hope that by blogging it has made things a little bit clearer for you. All i can say that i will send you prayers and kind thoughts your way.

    Love sylvi. xx

  • Hi

    I'm really sorry you're having a bad time at the moment.I'm pleased that you have blogged about your worries -it doesnt matter that it's not about RA at all.I can totally understand that you don't want to worry your kids as you say you've all been through the mill.I really think you should call your doctor tomorrow to put your mind at rest about the cancer and then you can concentrate again on the other things.I do know that the effects from radiotherapy can last for a long time after treatment has finished - sometimes years

    Please let us know how you get on

    Take care

    Julie x

  • Pam you are being brave and an optimist - good luck tomorrow and keep blogging about anything that is impacting your life. You have not had a good run, i hope you hear the news that you want tomorrow.

  • Hi Pam

    good luck for tomorrow, I hope it is good news!

    Sci x

  • What to say indeed - you're really going through it at the moment, poor thing. Feel free to rant here, and do hope that goes better for you tomorrow.

    It must be hard for you to keep your worries to yourself at home,but do you need to all the time? I don't know if you've told us how old your kids are, and obviously every family's different. But if they're young adults rather than little kids or teens, might you be underestimating them? I think I'd want to know what my mum was going through even if it did upset me, and maybe I'd feel a bit hurt that she didn't feel able to confide in me? Or are there other friends & family nearby that could also offer some extra support when you're feeling so bad? Take care. Polly

  • Oh poor, poor you Pam - and very good luck tomorrow - hope the 90% wins of course - let us know and come back here anytime you need to. Counseling might help you too perhaps if you want to keep yourself together at home? TTx

  • Good luck Pam, you need some good news for a change.

  • IM So soory to hear you are having a bad time, please free to message me if it helps

    Alison x

  • Thank you all for your comments,and yes i am backlol, seems the antibiotics that my doc gave me "just in case " it was an infection,caused me side effects of tighteneing my throat and made me cough ,this cough went ot my chest for some reason and so for 10 days have had hardly any sleep ,I rang my GP when i still had not heard from the "2 week urgent appt" coughing and spluttering , and not heard back from her so far today . But either way still need an answer , if it an infection what other antibiotics can i have that will not choke me IF it my cancer need to know, but that brings up problems too . Can not have chemo or radiotherapy in the same area as before , so that leaves an op, which could be life threatening due my having had two PEs due to the chemo, . So actually do i really want ot know if they cant do anything . And all the time mayRa and OA is having a mini flare up, and soooooo tired , mm think i need a holiday , oh and a phone call. so will call them if not heard from by mid afternoon, beam me up scottie .!!!

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