So, I have made it to 75 days smoke free. 3/4 through to 100! Still feeling extremely positive however today really tested me. My 16yo who moved out in January because I have morals and values told me he stays at his gf house in her bed. I left immediately after he told me and went to my car and cried. That was a moment that really tested me. I didn’t feel the need to smoke, but I felt the need to give up caring. Everything I have done for the betterment of my child is being undone and I feel helpless. It’s all out of spite.
I picked myself up later in the day, dusted myself off and got on with my work load. Tomorrow is a new day, the kids and I have to fly out to attend nans funeral on Friday. With our crazy family who feel like there is nothing but hate and spitefulness, it’s going to be an interesting time. I have literally gone through my phone and Facebook and blocked or deleted any negative influences in my life. I want to concentrate on my and my happiness.
Hopefully my mums estate was finalised today so I can wipe my hands and move on after Friday. I am to important to give up on me and my family.
I feel so in control right now, I feel empowered, I don’t want to loose this
Thanks for your support everyone, I couldn’t of done this with out you.