Need a good vent

It's been a day of intense cravings. I'm 15 days in and loving it. The cravings come in hard but I refuse to give in. I'm a tad overwhelmed with school deadlines and finals approaching, my allergies have been killing me the past few nights, my roommate stuck me with a couple months rent she neglected, my income has been slashed in half and I have no idea how I'm going to make it next month. Job hunting with no skills and a poor resume. I could convince myself a smoke would feel like a relief, but that's a lie. I gave up eating to smoke, I washed clothes by hand so I had smoke money, all the money wasted and how horribly thin I've become. I was addicted badly. I would set my alarm to wake up before my daughter so I can chain smoke before she woke up. The smell on my skin and clothes- I exposed her to. I'm trying to redeem myself. So I need to vent- smoking costed my daughter and I way more than I can afford to give in to a craving. I'm an addict and I'm not going back.

7 Replies

  • Vent away Laureenc, it does help so much. Hold on to every word of your excellent post. No going back now 💪

  • Thank you so very. I just keep coming back to this site. It's strange but I really believe it's what's helping me through this quit. I'm having a hard time sleeping with all the sneezing and congestion/ runny nose, but I honestly don't mind. I know it's like a bruise, it gets uglier as it heals. People like you keep me strong. My reasons matter to me, but having a good read of the posts and comments here really helps. Thank you so so much!

  • Look at you go. Steaming ahead knocking those craves into submission. Be mighty proud of yourself. Does feel good knowing you have done another day and you can see light at the end of the tunnel. I have been lucky so far and not been ill at all since I quit. Long may that last. The only issue I have is not being able to sleep.

  • Yes, the tough time with sleep. I hope that passes soon. It's not easy but we are all doing it! Yeah, maybe I'm a crazy optimist but I'm plenty proud of everyone on this site, all ready to quit even knowing how difficult the road is and all of us brace enough to share our struggles and push each other. I'm not always so upbeat, I think this quit is final and I'm feeling freer because of it.

  • Hey Laureenc - sleep disruption is a common complaint, I had it for the first couple of months, it does settle down, try to wind down before bedtime, bath, listen to music... You have a great attitude and mindset which will stand to your 'final' journey :)

  • Months? Yikes. Sorry to hear. Glad that didn't deter you. I'm bipolar and losing sleep sometimes triggers a hypomanic phase, but I limit my caffeine intake to only one cup in the morning and taking herbal tea at night. I also use the time I can't sleep to study while my little one is resting. So, looking at it as the glass half full. It's not been easy and yes I've had some mood swings. I try to use the same coping skills I have for my bipolar disorder for my overcoming this addiction. Thanks for the support and hearing me out. I hope it's a beautiful day for you?!

  • No problem at all Laureenc - once my brain settled down from not getting the poisonous chemicals and nicotine, I could have slept for 12 hours straight. It didn't really bother me as adapted a similar attitude to you that will just plod along and embrace it, as worth it to be smoke free :)

    Had a lovely day thanks, beautiful winter sunshine for the last couple of days, cold but can cope with it :O

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