Need advice

Hi all

I gave up smoking a year ago and have to say it's was very hard but glad I done it now. My problem now is my partner has been told to give up from the doctor . So he went right no more from today , that was a week ago. Well after 5 years of being together the relationship is very strained his like a different man. He don't hardly talk to me , I have tried to be supportive as I've been there. There just seems no getting threw to him . Has anyone else had this problem , with a partner. I know when I gave up I wasn't this bad even though he still smoked round me . I feel am losing patience with him. As I feel it was one rule for me and one for him , he didn't help when I gave up by still smoking round me . I am at my wits end and just wanna know will this mood his in stop like real soon x

7 Replies

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  • Coming from a guy, i feel you should just treat him as normal. Because right now, he is currently going through cold turkey. So right now, he is going through the Men's PMS, just like the ladies PMS, you felt moody and feel like lashing out at everyone.

  • Stick with him. It must be tough for you but keep supporting and it will get better. Talk to him about it too if you haven't already, communication is king. He might not realise he is being so different as so focused on not smoking. Everyones quit is different and the mental side for him might be even harder as it sounds like it was not his choice to give up and maybe thinking he is being deprived of something he enjoys. The further he goes, the more he'll be inspired by not smoking and mood should improve :)

  • Hello mali37 Sorry to hear you are having a hard time with your partner.

    All I can tell you is that every quit is different and people have different reactions to withdrawl both emotionally and physically. It could be that he is just having a really hard time of it and a week is still very early on. It can and does make some of us a nightmare to be around. Also, what may not be helping is that he was told to stop so in a sense, this is not really his decision, it had been made for him. This is not going to help his mood at all.

    I understand how you feel. I get that this is really not fair on you and that you are suffering through no fault of your own. I think that I would feel exactly the same as you do in your place. All I can say, is try to hang in there. Things will calm down in time. Perhaps just try to avoid confrontation when you can see it coming is the best course of action for now. Just keep telling yourself he is in drug withdrawl and it won't be forever.

    In the meantime, when you need support come on here and post. 😃😃

  • hello mali,

    I was a nightmare during the first couple of weeks of my quit but the thing I wanted more than anything else (apart from a cigarette) was to be left alone. I didn't want to be away from my wife and kids because I felt any less of them, I just wanted to be alone because that's the way I deal with things.

    My advice as a man* would be to just give him some space, be patient for a little while longer and he will come out of it...and start to act normally again.

    He's probably feeling it even more because it's something he HAS to do, rather than WANTS to.

    I hope it all works out OK

    *strictly in a biological sense :-)

  • Thanks to everyone that replied , he has admitted that his finding it hard. And also admitted that he has had a couple of fags.... I am disappointed that he gave in so quick . I keep supporting him and see how he goes

  • I was like an antichrist for the first 5/6 weeks!

    I would be more surprised if that wasn't the case, and I don't think this is a male vs female thing, we'll have to leave that discussion for the man's flu forum LOL

    Be patient!!!! 😀

  • Get him to read a book Alan Carrs The Easyway to stop smoking. I read it 9 years ago and have not had one puff since. You have to want to cease and this book helped me a lot. What has he got to lose? Good luck Tommypots

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