Sense of loss

Experienced a profound sense of loss yesterday evening that really caught me off-guard.

Suddenly thought of life ahead of me without 20 little mates in my pocket and it was almost like grief; the kind of thought I have when I look a how grey my dog has gone around the muzzle and how much I'll miss her when she's gone. It completely blew away the logical part of me, and all I felt for a few moments was just utter dismay, and disbelief that I can, from now to the end of my days, go without smoking.

It was only for a few moments before I started thinking normally again, but it just goes to illustrate just how powerful nicotine addiction is that its sudden absence can have that kind of effect - I literally conflated giving up smoking with loss and grief! 

Anyway, 4 day mark; still winning.

28 Replies

  • Morning Absinthe , that feeling of loss / grief is perfectly normal and will pass.    If you get a chance take a look at the pinned post across the way of the common nicotine withdrawal symptoms and also a great post in Hercu's inspirational quotes and analogies about the grief...

  • Yup, read the pinned post on symptoms, but was still taken aback by the strength of the feeling. 

  • Yeah it is a horrible feeling alright and unfortunately there will be more of these out of the blue urges but for everyone you attack the easier it gets.    Wishing you strength ;)

  • Perfectly normal reaction - your still very early in your quit and this won't be the last time the addiction tries to trick you into resuming smoking (for that is what it was) ... but try to look at it a little different - cigarettes are not your 'mates' - at best it's a 'with friends like these who needs enemies' scenario ... be happy that your dropping these life-sucking, destructive 'mates' and celebrate your freedom!  Well done for getting past it and continuing with your quit.

  • The ones that catch you off guard are the worst in my opinion. Good news is though you got over it quickly, which is a massive achievement at this stage.

  • It came out of nowhere! I wasn't craving or even thinking about fags and all of a suddenm there was this complete and utter "wrongthink"; like someone else was doing the driving for a couple of seconds. It was weird.

  • Yeah, they're like that...lurk around the corner and pounce when you least expect it. You'll get used to it Absinthe, honestly.

  • Hi Absinthe...Yup .. it is said that when you stop smoking you must make time for mourning...It will be as if you have lost a family member..very severe...BUT it goes away and soon you will be grateful for the loss of your ciggie friend !!!

  • Nozmo is right - the psychological trap doors are as tricky than the physical ones in my view. Well done for not falling down

  • I'm one of those smarty pants who gave up 25 years ago, to this day I still remember the pains, I did end up in hospital nothing Minor I couldn't breathe, my lungs were so full of crap there wasn't enough room for oxygen. First thing I did when I came out of hospital was light up, after being told I was in danger of losing my left leg. The power of nicotine should never be underestimated. There are still times now after 25 years when I feel I want a cancer stick,but I still have my left leg and I am now cycling sometimes  over hundred miles a week, at 69 thats not bad and I will live to see my granddaughter grow up. Give up it is worth all the pain in the end you will feel great.

  • That's some good context right there! Cheers grandad!

  • Welcome grandad, WOW, Over 25 years smoke free, truly amazing and an inspiration to us all.    Thanks for sharing your story and look forward to more inspirational updates from you.....:)

  • Had that too, and it will pass like the urge. Be strong and come here for support as there is always somebody up ready to help each other ... Coming up on 8 months!!

  • I think most of us have experienced this, I know I did and it actually reduced me to tears the sense of loss was so great, but it went and I haven't felt that way since. Your doing great

  • Absinthe we do have to go through a sense of loss, it is exactly the same as going through the grieving procedure. There are five stages, denial before you quit, when you finally do quit you get anger and irritably. Next comes the bargaining stage, the just one won't hurt. Depression or loss stage which you are experiencing now and then acceptance.

    You are doing so well :)

  • Diolch yn fawr!

  • Croeso ;)

  • welshgirl84  & Absinthe Is this welsh speak, love the accent, could listen to it for hours ;)

  • RoisinO1 and @Nozmo It is indeed welsh speak ;) I only know a little bit though. No way am I fluent in welsh.

    iechyd da!

  • welshgirl84 take it that means thank you?   Irish (as gaelige) reply is ta failte romhat!

  • Nearly right RoisinO1 it mean good health ;)

    We certainly have a very cultural board here.

  • Me too RoisinO1 . Spent quite a lot of time working in Caernarfon over the years and loved hearing Welsh spoken.

  • Hello Absinthe since I quit I lost my sweet Lucy (golden retriever) she was only 9 due to cancer it was horrible it's been one month ........I don't know how I got through the days without a cig.." I can't believe how powerful nicotine addiction is.....but it does get easier I still have those crazy days but it passes stay strong  

  • Very sorry to hear about Lucy Lucy1255 it awful losing a pet. I'm sure she will be running over the rainbow bridge with a load of friends.

    Well done for being some strong and resisting the call in your head, that smoking would solve everything. You know it won't.

  • Sorry for your loss :-(

    There's no way the feeling of missing fags will even come close to missing a loyal family member, friend, and companion of 9 years - I was just waxing lyrical and maybe a little selfishly caught-up in the moment.

  • Excellent post Lucy1255 , Kat, sorry about Lucy, what a lovely sweet thing to have your user name on here after her, the grief of losing a pet is very real and devastating, well done on getting through it :'(

  • Those moments in time, when as if the heavens have opened ,showered  us with every thing, from sadness to happiness and every thing in between,  do pass, and hopefully don't occur to often. 

    Grief and loss, go hand in hand, but you dealt with those emotions,  pulled through, with sunnier days ahead, you did fantastic.

    Well done to you indeed, be proud of that moment you choose not to smoke, it would have stood you in good stead for the future., I,m sure.

    Thanks for posting. Well done

  • Hey Absinthe, 1 month today! Well done! How are you getting on?

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