Hi everyone! I realize that my posts here are something like my personal diary. I wish I had written more early on my quit though. I would read that now and remember more vividly why and how it all happened. As I am getting through this third month, I find it that it is maybe the most crucial period in my quit. I get bold and thoughts about smoking again one or once in a while its ok, do come in mind. This morning I remembered what I said to my self every morning in the first weeks: "I will not smoke today". At some point I forgot it, but today, I said it again to myself. Seems that I still have to take one day per day.
One thing that I find it useful to keep me from smoking is a feel of shame. I feel that people around me will lose respect if I start smoking again, and I will lose huge amounts of confidence. It would be all a great big fuss for nothing, plus 20 pounds fatter.
One more thing...some days ago When I had these intense thoughts to smoke etc, I asked a friend of mine to give me a Marlboro lights, the brand I used to smoke. On my first two weeks I kept a packet of cigs. in my car and said to myself "ok if you want to smoke you can. There they are." And then I chose not to smoke. At some point I got rid of the whole packet and weeks started flying by. So when my thoughts started again some days ago, I asked my friend to give me a cigarette which I kept in my car and still have there. Strangely enough much of my thoughts subsided and I felt I am more in control. I guess the prospect of not smoking ever again, panicked me a bit. So yeah, now more relaxed I guess....well its also the summer that is here and all the summer things I used to do as a smoker I guess I have to learn all over again as an ex smoker. Anyway...thanks again for everything.
Well.....as I write the title of this and get ready to press the post button, I realize that I havent writen at all about the amazing benefits odf not smoking. How my breathing has really improved, how I am not panting in every step, how sex is so much better, how my skin feels great, how the prospect of losing the extra 20 pounds makes me feel like a superman! Have a most amazing Sunday!