Really Low

As much as I have sympathised and supported members when facing a personal tragedy, I did not expect the overwhelming need to smoke that I felt today just after one of my birds was put to sleep. I can hear many of you muttering that it's only a bird, but as with all my animals, I give them all my love and the care they deserve, she reciprocated with kisses and cuddles and was sooooo funny and affectionate, she suffered kidney failure and there was nothing they could do for her. I am determined not to spark up, I know it won't make me feel any better and I know smoking will add to the guilt I am feeling right now, but oh god, I wan't a fag :(

27 Replies

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  • I am so sorry and no I would never say it's only a bird. The way pets of all types make it into your heart is amazing.

    You've said all the right things to yourself. You know the truth here. Just stick with it. This awful day will end, just make sure it ends with you as a non smoker.

  • No, no, no......... a fag will make you feel sick and your head will explode. I know you love your birds and animals Jen...........you know that she had the most lovely life possible.

    There is nothing more that any living creature can ask for than to have been loved. Your little bird was loved and she will have known this, in her own little bird-way.

    Val

    xxx

  • Hello lovely lady, so sorry for your loss, it's probably hard to comprehend right now because you are so upset but you did the kindest thing for your birdie and it isnt suffering anymore, I'm a big animal lover aswell and when we lose them it is just heart wrenching, sending you lots and lots of hugs across the Severn I hope tomorrow is a better day for you xxxxxx

  • I completely understand where you are coming from and what you are feeling is natural and show that you are a lovely, caring, loving person.

    Sending you a big hug,

    xxxx

  • Are you still on hun, really hope you are ok :( don't have a cig I'm sure you would regret it :( :( xxxxxx

  • Hope you feel better soon Jen, there's nothing daft about losing a pet :(

  • Ah Jen...:(

    Dear little soul- she'll be flying happily over the rainbow bridge now and she'll always be there watching over you.

    Of course you're heart-broken at the moment and there isn't anyone here who won't understand why you're grieving for a bird. You're right though- smoking won't make it easier or better.

    Loads of love and virtual hugs from me. :)

  • Thank you so much everyone for your kind words and support.

  • Grieving is grieving for whatever reason and there's no shame in it. But smoking really wont improve the situation at all, as I think you've worked out for yourself. All the best.

  • So sorry Jen, virtual hug heading your way....not easy but try and be strong..losing a pet is devastating, no matter the size or species. Take care x

  • Have just seen this and want to offer my sympathy :(

    Pet lovers will certainly understand how you feel,and quitters also know at times such as this all we can think of is smoking......stay strong Jennings,stay strong x

  • Big hugs, our pets are our family too so I know how sad you will be feeling today. Stay strong, I hope you are ok x

  • Thank you again everyone for such warm, kind words. I am a little better today, I have not smoked but will probably stay away from the forum for a while as finding it really difficult with the word "smoking" on every flipping page. Your support and kindness have meant the world to me, thanks again xxx

  • Oh Jen, I'm so sorry to read this. Of course you are grieving, any pet leaves a huge hole in your life when they go.

    It is the hardest thing to do the right thing. I prefer animals to people to be honest, what you see is exactly what you get with them, they don't judge, they don't get moody, they are not vindictive or cruel, they just are.

    Your birds sounds really cool and I know you're going to miss her. You gave her such a wonderful life, and she gave you such wonderful memories in return.

    Sending great big hugs

    Molly x

  • What sort of bird was it? forgive my ignorance :)

    xxx

    Hi Max, she was a Lutino Cockatiel

  • How are you doing as the day is going on Hun? Xx

  • Hello again everyone, I am feeling a lot calmer now and am certainly not going to smoke over this. My other birdies are really quiet and I'm trying not to get too upset around them as my oldest one can get very stressed quite easily, so I when I get home tonight I'm going to do all I can to be upbeat around them - I might even make them an omelette, don't laugh, it's their favourite dinner;) Thank you again for your kind words and massive show of support :o

  • Bless them eating an omelette :) I have never heard of that, glad you are feeling a little bit better xx

  • How are you doing as the day is going on Hun? Xx

    I am a lot calmer, still feel empty but I know it will take time. Thank you xxx

  • Bless them eating an omelette :) I have never heard of that, glad you are feeling a little bit better xx

    You should see them with mashed potato :eek: they get more over their faces than in their beaks :cool:

  • I am a lot calmer, still feel empty but I know it will take time. Thank you xxx

    It's really very difficult isn't it, especially the first few days.... It will take time like you said... :( what was your birds name? Xxx

  • It's really very difficult isn't it, especially the first few days.... It will take time like you said... :( what was your birds name? Xxx

    Spike, the other three are Tilly, Pearl and Litlun - they are all a bit bonkers, just like me :rolleyes:

  • Spike, the other three are Tilly, Pearl and Litlun - they are all a bit bonkers, just like me :rolleyes:

    Ah litlun... Very Bristolian :).....they all have lovely names, I bet Spike was amazing bless him, so sorry again for your loss xxx

  • I've just noticed this thread and am so sorry to hear your news.

    With love comes pain, but I'd hate to live life without experiencing love.

    This quote sums it up nicely...

    "Broken hearts are what give us strength, understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of feeling love".

    You will meet again at Rainbow Bridge and will be able to spend time together forever.

    Gary x

  • Thanks Buggy and Capitan - :o

  • Hi jenninegs, I don't post a lot, but just read through this.

    So sorry for the loss of your little bird. I remember being in torrents of tears at the vets once over a budgie. Please remember that animals that are loved are lucky that we can end their suffering timely. Speaking as one who watched her husband die slowly in a morphine induced stupor, our beloved pets are blessed. My 16 year old cairne terrior, suffering from renal failure, went home only 2 weeks ago without enduring the final painful misery of his illness. They bring us innocent joy while they live. The least we can do is limit their suffering at the end. You did that for your little friend. You won't smoke. Smoking's nothing to do with it. Much love.....xxxxxx

  • Hi jenninegs, I don't post a lot, but just read through this.

    So sorry for the loss of your little bird. I remember being in torrents of tears at the vets once over a budgie. Please remember that animals that are loved are lucky that we can end their suffering timely. Speaking as one who watched her husband die slowly in a morphine induced stupor, our beloved pets are blessed. My 16 year old cairne terrior, suffering from renal failure, went home only 2 weeks ago without enduring the final painful misery of his illness. They bring us innocent joy while they live. The least we can do is limit their suffering at the end. You did that for your little friend. You won't smoke. Smoking's nothing to do with it. Much love.....xxxxxx

    Hi SuagarPuff - Thank you so much for sharing that with me, I am so sorry you recently lost your pooch, how are you doing?

    I have to admit although I feel like rubbish, the other three aren't allowing me time to dwell on it this morning, they are almost they're usual bonkers selves and I don't want them to feed off my mood.

    You are right with the smoking, it had nothing to with this, and I will not give it any more headroom - Spike hated the smell on me when I smoked anyway, she'd give me kiss then shake her head, just like when she tried something new to eat and didn't like it so I'd hate her to "see" me at it again. Much love to you too xxxxx

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