Hello new room not doing to well

Well, not a great start to a new room. It's been a really tough few days. It kicked off yesterday when a colleague of mine, who sits across from me started smoking again. We had, coincidentally, stopped smoking on the same date and had been quietly encouraging each other. We both have the occasional puff on the e cig on a break and talk about how the quit was going. I could see him falling though, drank last weekend and smoked, same this weekend and back on the fags Monday.

When he went for a smoke break I just had this sudden, clear feeling how easy it would be to just go and smoke. Suddenly, it looked so normal. Just go and have a fag. I didn't, but it has been a very tricky few days. I didn't sleep last night and I have been right on the edge all day. Even now, I know that the addiction has nearly got the better of me. I have survived this evening so far with a tub of Ben and Jerry's!

I'm just so sick of being miserable, and tired, and fighting this internal monologue all the time, literally, all the time. It's dull, I'm fed up with it. I want to smoke. For a month I haven't wanted to smoke, deep down really not wanted to...but now I really do. It's tough today and there's nothing else to say really x

15 Replies

oldestnewest
  • Hi, sooo sorry your feeling this way , but you know the person that is smoking is surely going to a early grave, not a good choice.

    You are better my lovely, you have realised there is a better path to walk, one with sunshine, flowers, and very green grass.

    Hold on you are winning:)

  • Hi Val, sorry your having a bad time too :( I'm sure that your colleague will want to quit again so he will have to go through all that hard work again starting at day 1, you won't though, you will be able to sit back in 2/3 months time and be glad you didn't do it, I'm sure he will try again in a couple of weeks when he realises it's not all it's cracked up to be going back.... Don't let his mistake deter you, this is YOUR quit and u are doing brilliantly even if you don't feel it right now xxx

  • Well, not a great start to a new room. It's been a really tough few days. It kicked off yesterday when a colleague of mine, who sits across from me started smoking again. We had, coincidentally, stopped smoking on the same date and had been quietly encouraging each other. We both have the occasional puff on the e cig on a break and talk about how the quit was going. I could see him falling though, drank last weekend and smoked, same this weekend and back on the fags Monday.

    When he went for a smoke break I just had this sudden, clear feeling how easy it would be to just go and smoke. Suddenly, it looked so normal. Just go and have a fag. I didn't, but it has been a very tricky few days. I didn't sleep last night and I have been right on the edge all day. Even now, I know that the addiction has nearly got the better of me. I have survived this evening so far with a tub of Ben and Jerry's!

    I'm just so sick of being miserable, and tired, and fighting this internal monologue all the time, literally, all the time. It's dull, I'm fed up with it. I want to smoke. For a month I haven't wanted to smoke, deep down really not wanted to...but now I really do. It's tough today and there's nothing else to say really x

    Awww big (((hugs))) hun, it can be really tough but the fact you haven't smoked says a lot!!

    Can't really add to what Kat said, but you definitely can do this :)

    Smoking won't make anything better, believe me I caved in after my last quit and I was really disappointed with myself - so are the people on here who cave.

    It's one big, fat illusion!!

  • Val (:D), take it from one who knows (me!).....you may feel sick of the struggle and all that, but you would feel a heck of a lot sicker if you had a fag. Not only would you feel physically ill, you would hate yourself for giving in and you would be throwing away over a month's worth of your own hard work....that would be so sad. :(

    You are not smoking......you should feel rightly proud of your achievement, not envious of someone who is sadly failing in their own quit. You will come through this, Val, into much calmer waters. Honestly. :cool:

    Val

    xxx

  • I understand what you are all saying..I can't understand why my attitude has changed so much...I felt so strong and even when it was really hard and I was crying into my cheesecake my resolve was there...now i just feel so tired of it all.

    Is this my addiction talking..it must be.

  • I understand what you are all saying..I can't understand why my attitude has changed so much...I felt so strong and even when it was really hard and I was crying into my cheesecake my resolve was there...now i just feel so tired of it all.

    Is this my addiction talking..it must be.

    It happens hun, I don't know why either because it makes no sense at all!!

    But - go look at my posts from last week, I was a failure waiting to happen - now I'm doing fab. That's not bragging, but i want to show how things change.

    You're doing well, and you will be fine, you just need to get through this tough bit

    Big (((hug))) hun

  • Val please don't let it go now.

    I'm having much easier days now after having similar doubts just over a week ago. I was just fed up of fighting as well and bored of the whole thing, I felt like throwing a tantrum but kept chanting NOPE.

    You are so close to the top of the hill. Really read the great advice on this thread, you know you don't want to be a smoker even if you are feeling rotten at the moment.

    I've not expressed myself very well but posting quickly in case you come back.

  • Keep going Val, you've done so well to get this far. People say that it gets easier. Grit your teeth and prove them right! :) x

  • I know your right people..I know you are. I feel like I'm holding onto the nicotine addiction..I've been a smoker my whole adult life and I think part of me doesn't know how to be a non smoker. I have to let go and learn how to live hm life without cigarettes

  • I know your right people..I know you are. I feel like I'm holding onto the nicotine addiction..I've been a smoker my whole adult life and I think part of me doesn't know how to be a non smoker. I have to let go and learn how to live hm life without cigarettes

    We all feel like that hun, you're not alone.

    I've been a smoker in one form or another (social, quit or regular) since i was 13 and it's flipping hard to learn how to be a proper non-smoker.

    BUT

    We can do it.

    Believe me if miss no willpower here can *anyone* can!!

    Hang tough hun, and you will do it!!

  • Val it is a daily battle and that's all we can do, take each day as it comes, I have felt like you for the past week and only today I am starting to feel slight better, the way I look at it (this may help it may not) ask yourself do I want to smoke for the rest of my life? If the answer is no then there is absoloutely no point whatsoever in going back to it because somewhere down the line be it 6 months a year or longer you would have to do all this again... I have finally grasped that now after 7 previous attempts you can too just stick at it mate ;) xxx

  • Val

    Stop it!

    I'm nearly with you now - I just made it into 1 month, hang in there and keep me a seat warm, I know that you know we're going to do this, so just you stick with it and I'll be along shortly

    If you give in - I promise you it will be all of 30 minutes before you realise what a huge error it was

    When the going gets tough, the tough get going - just sing it in your head like it's our personal anthem!! Which will work if your voice is better than mine :D

    We rock remember :)

    X

  • Mina..we rock like crunchie rocks :rolleyes: x

  • Val - if I eat many more, I'm in danger of starting to look like a crunchie rock :eek::eek:

  • I ate almost a whole carton of Ben and Jerry's tonight ...literally 3/4 of it..I would have eaten the rest but my children would have moved out!!!

You may also like...