I have arrived, by hook or by crook - new territory is not too far ahead for me now.
So - reasons to be optimistic.
Cigarettes were purchased today, and stared at, and smelled, and hidden, and unhidden.
Let us start that again, changing the grammar!!
I purchased cigarettes today - it wasn't done to me, I did it myself - I have also soaked them all in water - unsmoked - all ten.
I currently seem to be mourning them, and have been known to take a hair dryer to soaked ciggies before now (YUK!!) - they are crushed beyond hope - so at least I learned a little on my way here!
I am feeling overly sorry for myself but am kinda going with the moment and indulging in self pity........
The wiser me, that has been here before and failed, hopes the rubicon is now crossed.
Thank you all