I'm on Champix, halfway through week two. My quit day is supposed to be February 21st. Already I am experiencing a growing dislike of the taste and overall experience of each puff I have, but my inspiration to quit is waning.
In the beginning I felt motivated by notions of clean lungs, clear skin and boatloads of saved money.
Now, I'm a little less enthusiastic about the idea. I'm plagued by happy memories of smoking in the summer while drinking a beer, or I catch myself bargaining, with myself : "I don't have to quit forever. I'll take Champix for three months and after that, well we'll see what happens."
I know these thoughts and behaviours are not conducive to a lifetime of smokebriety, but I can't seem to get myself out of this half ass attitude.
Who knows, maybe by the 21st, the Champix will have built up in my system and I will just naturally adjust my attitude to my new brain chemistry. Perhaps I will eagerly throw down my last pack feeling confident and delighted to quit.
But, I'm afraid to rely on only that. I want to change my attitude. I want to want to quit smoking.
I'm so tired of the quitting, starting, quitting cycle I've found myself in over the last decade. I know I have felt very excited and motivated in the past, and I have even found quitting enjoyable before. But that was before. Before all the times I failed, and started smoking again....
Have any of you had a similar experience, and if so did you manage to overcome your mixed intentions and kick your habit?
Any tips on how to re-inspire myself, so that this doesn't feel like a torturous punishment, but rather a bold, and wise choice made in my best interest?