I want to quit, I just don't "want" to quit

I'm on Champix, halfway through week two. My quit day is supposed to be February 21st. Already I am experiencing a growing dislike of the taste and overall experience of each puff I have, but my inspiration to quit is waning.

In the beginning I felt motivated by notions of clean lungs, clear skin and boatloads of saved money.

Now, I'm a little less enthusiastic about the idea. I'm plagued by happy memories of smoking in the summer while drinking a beer, or I catch myself bargaining, with myself : "I don't have to quit forever. I'll take Champix for three months and after that, well we'll see what happens."

I know these thoughts and behaviours are not conducive to a lifetime of smokebriety, but I can't seem to get myself out of this half ass attitude.

Who knows, maybe by the 21st, the Champix will have built up in my system and I will just naturally adjust my attitude to my new brain chemistry. Perhaps I will eagerly throw down my last pack feeling confident and delighted to quit.

But, I'm afraid to rely on only that. I want to change my attitude. I want to want to quit smoking.

I'm so tired of the quitting, starting, quitting cycle I've found myself in over the last decade. I know I have felt very excited and motivated in the past, and I have even found quitting enjoyable before. But that was before. Before all the times I failed, and started smoking again....

Have any of you had a similar experience, and if so did you manage to overcome your mixed intentions and kick your habit?

Any tips on how to re-inspire myself, so that this doesn't feel like a torturous punishment, but rather a bold, and wise choice made in my best interest?

:)

5 Replies

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  • The nature of addiction.

    Hi FireFly - I know exactly what you mean. I used to think the same way - it's the nature of the addictive mind - the brain will do anything to prevent you from quitting.

    The selective memories mean that you remember the one or two instances when you loved smoking. It is really hard to get over that BUT it is possible. For me, what worked was lots of reading both here and on the internet about how the sub-conscious works and how to beat it.

    Those thoughts do get less with time. Often thinking of something horrible about smoking when the craves hit can help. All the best in your quest to silence the addiction monster. :)

  • Hiya and welcome :)

    I didn't use Champix, but I can think of at least 2 people who took it to try it out (and didn't want to stop) who are both over a year smoke free.

    From what i know, the Champix makes the smoke taste vile and you get nothing out of it (blocks the brain receptors) so you find it vile and pointless - so stopping seems easier.

    We all have "fond" memories of smoking, but maybe reading something like Allen Carr would help?

    Someone who knows a lot more than me will be along soon to give some better advice, lol but i hope that helps a bit :)

  • I'm on Champix, halfway through week two. My quit day is supposed to be February 21st. Already I am experiencing a growing dislike of the taste and overall experience of each puff I have, but my inspiration to quit is waning.

    In the beginning I felt motivated by notions of clean lungs, clear skin and boatloads of saved money.

    Now, I'm a little less enthusiastic about the idea. I'm plagued by happy memories of smoking in the summer while drinking a beer, or I catch myself bargaining, with myself : "I don't have to quit forever. I'll take Champix for three months and after that, well we'll see what happens."

    I know these thoughts and behaviours are not conducive to a lifetime of smokebriety, but I can't seem to get myself out of this half ass attitude.

    Who knows, maybe by the 21st, the Champix will have built up in my system and I will just naturally adjust my attitude to my new brain chemistry. Perhaps I will eagerly throw down my last pack feeling confident and delighted to quit.

    But, I'm afraid to rely on only that. I want to change my attitude. I want to want to quit smoking.

    I'm so tired of the quitting, starting, quitting cycle I've found myself in over the last decade. I know I have felt very excited and motivated in the past, and I have even found quitting enjoyable before. But that was before. Before all the times I failed, and started smoking again....

    Have any of you had a similar experience, and if so did you manage to overcome your mixed intentions and kick your habit?

    Any tips on how to re-inspire myself, so that this doesn't feel like a torturous punishment, but rather a bold, and wise choice made in my best interest?

    :)

    Hi and welcome to this wonderful place where you will find as much support as you need and will also find that your not going mad thinking these thoughts :eek: that your not alone either i think are two of the most important assests to this place

    as Nonico said what your thinking is what every addict starts thinking the happy times of smoking the times when you thought were the best and you cant even think how you will cope with doing these things again without a ciggy in your hand the familiar comforting friend that when you smoke gives you soo much pleasure

    those are all lies im sorry to say :eek: yep your smoking mind is lying to you but dont dispair there is hope and support to get you through

    education is the key if you look in the tips section of the forum you will find some really inspiring posts to read

    it is doable by concentrating on one day at a time and by breaking each day down into sections you can fool your smoking brain to by telling it that you will have a ciggie later and just keep repeating that to get you through the day

    coming on here when your struggling and posting will help keep your hands and mind distracted as that is the main key

    distracting the mind for alot of people taking up an old hobby or even a new one will help big time

    it does get easier the further down the road you go and waking up each day and saying i choose not to smoke today will help to reinforce your quit

    oh and there is a brilliant club you can join that many here have joined and thats the NOPE club

    which stands for

    Not One Puff Ever and as long as you stay in the club you will succeed :D

    onwards and upwards is the way to freedom

    :)

  • I started quitting with Champix, finished the course a while back and I'm now I'm on my own - day 107 without a smoke.

    Whilst Champix may be a wonder drug, you still need to have the desire to stop.

    My first attempt with Champix failed after 14 days, as I didn't really know what to expect - thought it might be like NRT and take the cravings away every 1-2 hours. After 2 weeks I was still smoking 20 a day and decided to cease taking Champix.

    Left it for a couple of months and started again. this time I dramatically reduced the amount I smoked from day 1. 8 down to a couple within 5 days, none at all after 6.

    This is by far my best quit and although I sometimes still crave, it's so much easier now to say NO and I'm hoping that as time goes by those cravings will disappear completely.

  • Hello, Firefly and welcome. :)

    There are 2 parts to quitting......one is the physical addiction and the other is the mental addiction. Champix is brilliant for the physical side, it does the job for you! But the mental addiction is down to us as individuals. You say that "you want to quit, but you don't "want" to quit". Well, I know exactly where you are coming from! Like you, I "enjoyed" my fags and the thought of giving them up was frightening, I didn't see how I could live without them. I didn't "want" to quit, but I nor did I want to be a smoker any more. I got through the first 16 years of my life without fags, so I knew that it was possible for me to live without them. I realised that a big stumbling block for me was in the wording that I used.....telling myself that I wanted to give up smoking was a big fat lie; I didn't want to give up smoking at all....I enjoyed it, for goodness' sake!

    What I did, therefore, was to change the wording that I used and instead of "giving up smoking", with all the implied deprivation, sacrifice and martyrdom that comes with it, I decided that I was just going to return to being the non-smoker that I used to be, over 40 years ago, because it is better to be a non-smoker than a smoker. It turned the whole business into a positive thing instead of it being a fight and a struggle and it really made all the difference for me. I still needed the Champix for a while, I still ate too much chocolate and I still spent as much time here as possible, but just changing the wording of my goal from something that sounded impossible, to something that would produce the "me" that I wanted to be (ie the non-smoking me) made all the difference in the world.

    I hope that all makes sense and I hope that there may be something helpful/useful to you in my witterings! :)

    I see that your quit date is 21st February. You are bound to feel a bit anxious as the date gets nearer, but you've got 6 days in which to get your mind set right and the effect of the Champix will increase day-by-day. Don't be frightened of it.....embrace it.....you will feel so proud as you start to achieve smoke-free minutes, hours, days!

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