Fed up to the back teeth! Grrr

I ask myself what is the b-loody point in all this? Long term quitters going off the rails.... Is it really doable then??.... I have had the sh1ttest day in the history of sh1ttest days... I won't bore you with it but I have... I'm stressed and angry but I still don't want a fag, what will it solve?? Nowt that's what! but I have to ask myself what's the point in prolonging the agony if 6 months or a year down the line I end up having one because the crave is so bad?When does it end????....It's hard... So hard to quit but I am going to fight for it.... I wish there were people on here that have done 5 years quit that could tell me hell yes it's worth it the craves go the longing goes and it's all good.... If long term quitters fail what pigging hope is there....

P.s just to confirm I WILL NOT SMOKE TODAY!!!

19 Replies

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  • Good question Donna. I remember asking the same thing to myself months and months ago. Lucky for us, ever now and then, the really long term quitters pop on and post. I remember I was always encouraged by such posts.

    You know it can be done look at all the people that have entered the Penthouse in the past couple of months:D:p

    Sorry you've had a bad day and good on you for not wanting to smoke:)

    I just think it took so much for me to quit, there is no way I want to go through all that again! I will always be on guard though, I regard myself as a reformed smoker, not a non smoker (even though I am) :D

    lostie:)

    Thanks Lostie I appreciate you commenting, I have had the worst day ever and having a fag is the last thing on my mind, I am starting to wonder about all this penthouse malarkey if people who get so near the hallowed doors weaken and have a fag.... Seriously what's the point....it doesn't give newbies or short term quitters like me much incentive to persevere through that brick wall at all!....Oooh I am mad today :mad: hehehehe, thanks again x

    Hello Lovely

    Oooooh you are having it bad today aren't you

    Sorry to hear that

    We are not going to fall off the wagon :)

    Give yourself a nice treat or some you time if you can. It will be better tomorrow

    I can't remember how you are giving up. I will have a look shortly but I do think it gets easier when the nicotine has all been gone for a while. Just my experience

    Come on lovely one we are doing brilliantly

    A glass of red wine methinks

    Lots of love

    J x

    Hey Flower :)

    Your right I am having a bad day but not a "I want a fag" bad day, I just get disheartened by some posts sometimes, I am desperate to get to 3 months but then people fail and you read it time and again, "I quit before for 6 months/8 months/18months (delete where applicable) and I think what??? And ur back here at day 1?? Madness.... I know we are all human god knows I do this is my 8th attempt but my failures are always pretty early on, I just can't imagine going through all this cr4p for months and months to then go back to it?

    I'm pissed off cos I feel pretty confident this quit as I know a lot of others do and posts about giving in at a late stage just makes me question... What's the point eh? Xxx

  • My dad quit 13 years ago. He was a 60 a day man for 40 years.

    I had a chat with him the other day about this.

    His reply was along the lines of this (paraphrasing):

    "Look Steve, it's not as though the Nic-Demon is going to phone you

    up in a few months saying "That's it. I give up. You are now an

    ex-smoker". It's more like smoking gradually becomes less and less

    something you do. Yes, I still occasionally think about smoking, but it's

    not something I need to do anymore. And I certainly don't crave them."

    I guess that's why some long term quitters don't post here anymore...

    ...smoking just doesn't mean anything to them now. They've moved on.

    THAT is something to consider. What a WONDERFUL feeling that will be.

    Hope your day improves :)

    Steve

  • A glass of red wine methinks

    [\QUOTE]

    A glass? More like a bottle I reckon! :D

    What a fantastic post. Thank you. And look at your smoking history !!

    Brilliant example for us

    J x :)

    Definitely a good example, we need more posts like this on here as opposed to excuses to justify smoking....brilliant stuff Lostie xx

    you will have bad days,as a smoker you had bad days except that you ran outside and sucked smoke into yourself :eek::eek: and would stink as a result but the bad day- was still there.

    Absolutely Max which is why there's no way I'm using it as an excuse to give in... We are all in the same boat on here, all struggling all finding it hard, there should be no special cases and no exceptions... Tough love all the way :)

  • Hi Donna - totally relate to what you say there, I still stand by your quit is only as strong as your desire to quit.

    Your actually doing really well, you have the desire to quit and will soon be not thinking about it :)

  • Hey Donna, I usually only speak for myself in these things, everyone's different of course; I haven't smoked, not so much as a puff on a fag, in nearly 20 months. I have no plans to relapse, I certainly don't miss it, and for me at least, all the cravings etc have long gone....I don't know if that's of help to you, but for me, I don't imagine a circumstance which would lead me to smoke, and I've been through a few since I quit!

  • I'm one of those success/failure stories. I quit once for 5 years and then another time for 3 years. Went back twice. Now I'm at 4 1/2 months doing it all over again.

    While that may seem frustrating, the simple reason that I started back was failure to heed the NOPE advice. The first time, it was a business trip and out with friends to the pub. "It's been 3 years, one won't hurt!" Wrong.

    The second time I did the same thing. New Year's eve with friends. "It's been 5 years, one won't hurt!" Wrong again.

    My point is that I was just stupid, end of story. It wasn't like Nic just jumped on my back again. I didn't want those smokes badly. I wasn't craving them. I just allowed myself to fall for the lie thinking time and distance made me immune. So to a degree we always will be on guard, but it's not like we feel like you feel today forever. It's not. Been there, seen it, felt it, and know it's a fact.

  • Hey Donna, I usually only speak for myself in these things, everyone's different of course; I haven't smoked, not so much as a puff on a fag, in nearly 20 months. I have no plans to relapse, I certainly don't miss it, and for me at least, all the cravings etc have long gone....I don't know if that's of help to you, but for me, I don't imagine a circumstance which would lead me to smoke, and I've been through a few since I quit!

    I'm one of those success/failure stories. I quit once for 5 years and then another time for 3 years. Went back twice. Now I'm at 4 1/2 months doing it all over again.

    While that may seem frustrating, the simple reason that I started back was failure to heed the NOPE advice. The first time, it was a business trip and out with friends to the pub. "It's been 3 years, one won't hurt!" Wrong.

    The second time I did the same thing. New Year's eve with friends. "It's been 5 years, one won't hurt!" Wrong again.

    My point is that I was just stupid, end of story. It wasn't like Nic just jumped on my back again. I didn't want those smokes badly. I wasn't craving them. I just allowed myself to fall for the lie thinking time and distance made me immune. So to a degree we always will be on guard, but it's not like we feel like you feel today forever. It's not. Been there, seen it, felt it, and know it's a fact.

    Both of these posts are really helpful, Bear because you are at 20 months nearly 2 years and you are categorically saying the desire has gone, and third yours is brilliant because you have been one of the people I have moaned about (not literally)haha a 3 year quit and a 5 year quit gone because you thought you were safe and one would be fine, I get it now N.O.P.E that really is the key, thank you both

  • Unfortunately my story is very similar and it might not make for comfortable reading Donna, but I too quit for a long time and then started again.

    I smoked from about 14 till I was 25 and then gave up for 7 years until I was 32. After the initial quit I had no cravings whatsoever. In fact I detested smoking, I was super fit and life was good. Some things changed in my life and things went downhill a bit. What got me smoking was finding a packet of fags in my pocket after a party. I was on my way home, had no desire or craving to smoke, I just found myself lighting up. It was disgusting, but I smoked it anyway. The pack still had some in and if I had thrown them away I have no doubt that that quit would still be going now. But I didn't throw them away and the over the next couple of days I had some more, even though it was disgusting and made my throat hurt and made me cough. When that pack was empty I went and bought 10, thinking I could control my smoking, but obviously I was on the slippery slope, which finds me here, another 7 years down the road quitting again.

    My point is this Donna, with determination,you will get to a stage where you wont want to smoke, you will get to a stage where you wont crave cigarettes. You will stop thinking about them, you will disassociate yourself from smoking completely. You have to tell yourself you will get there. But you can never let your guard down. We will always be 'smokers' whether we like it or not. Some may go from their quit and never smoke again (my mum has been quit 25 years and will never smoke), some, like me, will falter. I have learned my lesson, I will NOT smoke again, I am more determined to not smoke again than I have ever been. But I know I must be on my guard.

    You will do it Donna, days like today happen, but you can't let the craves get the better of you, they do go away.

    Jim

  • I think the point is being missed here, I am not craving, not at all.... I don't want a cigarette whatsoever... My point is if someone can get to a long term quit and then still weaken it begs the question are we forever a slave to the fags?? I absolutely have no desire to smoke at all despite the day I have had, so how come someone who is long term quit can make a feeble excuse to have a fag and go back to smoking, surely later on down the line their brain is more over it than me, a five week quitter or am I going to get a massive crave 6/10/14 months down the line.... I read loads of posts on here when people are struggling saying it will get better etc but obviously it doesn't really ever go away if long term quitters use cr4p excuses to smoke again... It's very deflating....

  • I can see how angry you feel today and I totally get your frustration. You have proved before you have the personality to get through any problem that life throws at you and you can do it without smoking. Venting anger here is exactly the right thing to do.

    I've watched your posts for few months and always think to myself that you are one of the futures of this forum in that you will be a long term quitter who encourages new quitters with such interest and enthusiasm. You have a wealth of experience and knowledge about quitting to pass on and you do that very well.

    If it helps you to know, I would say that for 95% of the time I don't think about smoking at all and, like you, I won't go back to it. So you continue to do what you are doing as it's proving to be a good winning formula.

    Cheers John you are doing brilliantly by the way and I am really grateful for your support, I think as Lucy said it depends how dearly you want to hold onto your quit... If people make lame excuses a long time down the line then it doesn't mean that will happen to me it just means their resolve has weakened, I just don't think I could go back to the cr4p of day 1 YET again! It means to much to me this time, it really does...

  • I think the point is being missed here, I am not craving, not at all.... I don't want a cigarette whatsoever... My point is if someone can get to a long term quit and then still weaken it begs the question are we forever a slave to the fags?? I absolutely have no desire to smoke at all despite the day I have had, so how come someone who is long term quit can make a feeble excuse to have a fag and go back to smoking, surely later on down the line their brain is more over it than me, a five week quitter or am I going to get a massive crave 6/10/14 months down the line.... I read loads of posts on here when people are struggling saying it will get better etc but obviously it doesn't really ever go away if long term quitters use cr4p excuses to smoke again... It's very deflating....

    Maybe the point is, "who gives a frick about other people's bad experiences?"

    I realise I'm setting myself up for a fall here, DJ, but my quit has nothing in common with anyone else's. It's mine. I own it, I have to deal with the good and bad of it. Of course, I'm super happy to be able to share my feelings with such brilliant like-minded folks here...but ultimately I'm fighting for myself.

    So are you :)

    No-one is going to press the "quit forever button" tonight and make us forget about smoking.

    BUT.....we have no desire to smoke right now, so GO US :)

    Don't let other people's experiences influence your own quit.

    It really won't work, and besides....you're doing so well!

    I hope I haven't offended :eek:

    S x

  • Maybe the point is, "who gives a frick about other people's bad experiences?"

    I realise I'm setting myself up for a fall here, DJ, but my quit has nothing in common with anyone else's. It's mine. I own it, I have to deal with the good and bad of it. Of course, I'm super happy to be able to share my feelings with such brilliant like-minded folks here...but ultimately I'm fighting for myself.

    So are you :)

    No-one is going to press the "quit forever button" tonight and make us forget about smoking.

    BUT.....we have no desire to smoke right now, so GO US :)

    Don't let other people's experiences influence your own quit.

    It really won't work, and besides....you're doing so well!

    I hope I haven't offended :eek:

    S x

    Hi Steve,

    If your referring to offending me then no certainly not, I just analyse things I guess... Worrying about the calm before the storm, it's in me I'm not the sort of person that can take each days as it comes, I plan for months ahead, I've even booked a holiday and am using the fag money each month to pay for it! Maybe that's my downfall I think too much... This quit has been smooth, like really smooth in comparison to my others and when I read of attempts such as as our friends above and other posters it just makes me think what is the point in depriving myself if in 6 months I'm gonna post on here and say ooh I've got a spot it really got me down so I had a fag... You know what I mean?

    Disclaimer- this is solely my opinion it is not about anyone specific on the forum just a general observation and worry....... :D

  • Donna,

    Lol re: zit.

    But the real keyword here is "deprive".

    Get over that word, Donna.

    You're not depriving yourself of anything. Well, maybe a whole bunch of nasty diseases, but certainly nothing nice. You're totally treating yourself to a wonderful future instead.

    As far as I'm concerned, everyone who is prepared to share their quit experience on a public forum is a blo0dy hero! Like me, lol :)

  • Donna,

    Lol re: zit.

    But the real keyword here is "deprive".

    Get over that word, Donna.

    You're not depriving yourself of anything. Well, maybe a whole bunch of nasty diseases, but certainly nothing nice. You're totally treating yourself to a wonderful future instead.

    As far as I'm concerned, everyone who is prepared to share their quit experience on a public forum is a blo0dy hero! Like me, lol :)

    That is so true Steve letting go of the idea that quitting is a depriving yourself of a pleasure or a reward is halfway there to becoming a non smoker, i.e. someone who doesn't want to smoke.

    Its not a sacrifice to stop poisoning yourself its a gain. My mantra was always you are regaining health, wealth and control and losing nothing.

  • That is so true Steve letting go of the idea that quitting is a depriving yourself of a pleasure or a reward is halfway there to becoming a non smoker, i.e. someone who doesn't want to smoke.

    Its not a sacrifice to stop poisoning yourself its a gain. My mantra was always you are regaining health, wealth and control and losing nothing.

    Donna,

    Lol re: zit.

    But the real keyword here is "deprive".

    Get over that word, Donna.

    You're not depriving yourself of anything. Well, maybe a whole bunch of nasty diseases, but certainly nothing nice. You're totally treating yourself to a wonderful future instead.

    As far as I'm concerned, everyone who is prepared to share their quit experience on a public forum is a blo0dy hero! Like me, lol :)

    Deprive was an unfortunate choice of word..... Although I do miss smoking there is no doubt of that, basically all I was hoping is that a really long term quitter was still around occasionally to say yep I'm here all is good keep it up etc.... X

  • As far as I'm concerned, everyone who is prepared to share their quit experience on a public forum is a blo0dy hero! Like me, lol :)

    Quite right that man:)

  • good thread Donna and as afew have already mentioned everyones quit is different

    i am soo happy that your still strong determined and sounding so positive saying i choose not to smoke today and every day will help to keep you in check and focused

    there are lots and lots of long term quitters still quit most dont come on here that often now and post which is a shame as it def helps to inspire those that are just starting out on there own journey

    onwards and upwards is the only way to go

    :)

  • good thread Donna and as afew have already mentioned everyones quit is different

    i am soo happy that your still strong determined and sounding so positive saying i choose not to smoke today and every day will help to keep you in check and focused

    there are lots and lots of long term quitters still quit most dont come on here that often now and post which is a shame as it def helps to inspire those that are just starting out on there own journey

    onwards and upwards is the only way to go

    :)

    Yes it's a shame they dont pop in more often, but as someone else said they are too busy living their lives to worry about this place, and good on them for it! X

  • Donna, I quit for 3 years once and never looked back and then one fateful day I had a cig while intoxicated and it didn't touch me so a week later I had another and that didn't touch me, I honestly thought I had broke the addiction, I didn't know, I simply didn't have the knowledge :confused: well you know the rest, before I knew it I was right back on them, then I quit again for 4 years but my head was never in the right place, I replaced cigs with alcohol, I didn't really realize it at the time, right from the beginning I was drinking to subdue craves, then I would crave and think I was craving alcohol :eek: but somehow it all got confused but the cravings turned out to be for cigs, now I'm not drinking or smoking and will not be replacing any new addiction with an old one :o if we can get what I had with the first quit I will be laughing as will you and everyone else as well :) the major danger with a long term quit is you actually forget what it feels like to crave something and that is THE danger x

    Valid point there Cupster... If you are really long term quit I guess it doesn't enter your head, it's a bit like having a baby, at the time the pain is excruciating but years down the line you forget and think it wasn't that bad.. I'll have another one! :D

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