If anyone is out there, need a bit of encouragement :(

Hi guys,

I have never posted (sorry, shy) but have read this forum every day since quitting just for the positive attitudes that everyone seems to have. You seem such a lovely, caring bunch of people!

Basically, I have wanted to smoke today more than I have done since giving up. I have not had craves like this since the first few weeks. In fact, I have not really thought about smoking for months. I have had piercing headache for 2 days (sinusitis), I feel so frustrated with myself and EVERYONE. I have been wound up by some idiot non-payer on eBay, and have been absolutely DESPERATE for a large glass of red all week. I am trying not to drink but s*d it, have got my red and that's helped a little.

I was a secret smoker, so can't even have a rant in real life haha.

I am sure I won't buy any cigarettes, I trust myself there, and I don't know a single person among family or friends who actually smokes so no chance of scrounging one. I am not going to ruin this by having just one. There is no way I am ever going to even have a drag of a fag. I even refuse to breathe in second hand smoke these days.

I have spent twenty years trying to give up. Seriously! It's ridiculous it has taken so long. I'm sure I will rediscover my focus tomorrow. I'm just annoyed I had to have a drink. I have been I obsessive about being healthy since quitting but I guess I need to let it go tonight.

Sorry if this is rambling, I am rubbish at writing stuff on my phone. Thanks for listening, it has helped to have a good moan.

8 Replies

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  • Hi lemonie,

    You sound like you're having a rough time. I'm sorry, it's not good when you run into something like this so far in. You'll be amazed how many of us it has happened to though. It's a trigger like all the others and it WILL pass.

    Hang in there, have a really good read of new and old posts on here. Do whatever it is you love to do, read, have a bath, curl up and watch a movie. Do a jigsaw, have a chat in here.

    You'll get up tomorrow and just knowing you've got through this evening will make you realise all over again that you're a strong person.

    So, welcome to the forum, lovely to "meet" you.

    Please post and let us all know how you're doing, you have ALWAYS got someone to cheer you on or just to have a rant at on here.

    Take care, sending hugs

    Molly x

  • Thank you Molly, you made me smile :)

    It has been a crap day but my health is so important that I am NOT going to smoke!

  • First of all welcome :) secondly, well done of your quit :) you are a good way into it now and would be madness to give in now, especially because of some ar** on ebay, am sure you will get that sorted :)

    I am 10 months in and have made no secret of the fact that at times it jumps out on me to test me, usually in the warm weather or school hols, be strong, you will beat this crave xxx

  • Thank you Hellerscatch! Yes, it definitely jumped out at me from nowhere! Of all my quits, this has been the easiest and I suppose that's why it has been the longest. Honestly haven't had cravings for months but then today ....whoaaaa!

  • Reward Yourself

    Lemonie, I haven't smoked for 120 days, and my health has improved especially my circulation! I have actually saved £950 so far. So on Wednesday I went to the Capital of Wales (Cardiff) and bought myself a new iPhone 5s 16gb from the Apple store at a cost of £549 and I am delighted with it, and in affect it was free the Nicodemon bought it for me it's money that would have gone up in smoke.

    My next reward will be a 60 inch Smart television 3d etc, I will also be buying this for cash donated by the Nicodemon! I will be buying this in the January sales I will have enough by then. So I advise you to reward yourself because you deserve it.

    I found it really helped my motivation and determination to achieve my goals, as hopefully it will help you on your quest to become FREE.

  • That is amazing Rex! Such a lot of money we wasted on smoking, it's just a tragedy! You will enjoy that phone. I only have iPhone 4. I decided one day to get all 'teched' up and I love it. My quit smoking app says I have saved £346 so far, which to be honest, I have spent 10 times over as I am having a new kitchen. When I clock up 6 months, I am going to buy a little something to mark the occasion. Might just be a meal out.

  • That is amazing Rex! Such a lot of money we wasted on smoking, it's just a tragedy! You will enjoy that phone. I only have iPhone 4. I decided one day to get all 'teched' up and I love it. My quit smoking app says I have saved £346 so far, which to be honest, I have spent 10 times over as I am having a new kitchen. When I clock up 6 months, I am going to buy a little something to mark the occasion. Might just be a meal out.

    Welcome to the forum Lemonie and well done on getting through the night! :)

    How are you feeling this morning?

    My advice is to be kind to yourself. It's hard enough work trying to kick the nicodemon out, without worrying about weight and other health issues.

    If you find this easy then great! :D But don't be too hard on yourself if your choice of craving buster is a bar of chocolate or a glass of wine ;)

    Really well done, keep us posted! X

  • Thank you to everyone for your encouragement. You are all testament to what can be achieved if you stay strong and positive. I haven't felt even the tiniest bit of craving today. I knew I wouldn't actually smoke, but I was just so frustrated that other people can go out and drink and smoke as much as they like but I can't allow myself to do that, not even for one night. Cos if I do, it will carry on and on and either kill me or drive me insane trying to quit again and again...

    So tonight I am staying in with a cup of tea and strictly and I will be grateful when I go for a run tomorrow morning :D

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