I have never posted (sorry, shy) but have read this forum every day since quitting just for the positive attitudes that everyone seems to have. You seem such a lovely, caring bunch of people!
Basically, I have wanted to smoke today more than I have done since giving up. I have not had craves like this since the first few weeks. In fact, I have not really thought about smoking for months. I have had piercing headache for 2 days (sinusitis), I feel so frustrated with myself and EVERYONE. I have been wound up by some idiot non-payer on eBay, and have been absolutely DESPERATE for a large glass of red all week. I am trying not to drink but s*d it, have got my red and that's helped a little.
I was a secret smoker, so can't even have a rant in real life haha.
I am sure I won't buy any cigarettes, I trust myself there, and I don't know a single person among family or friends who actually smokes so no chance of scrounging one. I am not going to ruin this by having just one. There is no way I am ever going to even have a drag of a fag. I even refuse to breathe in second hand smoke these days.
I have spent twenty years trying to give up. Seriously! It's ridiculous it has taken so long. I'm sure I will rediscover my focus tomorrow. I'm just annoyed I had to have a drink. I have been I obsessive about being healthy since quitting but I guess I need to let it go tonight.
Sorry if this is rambling, I am rubbish at writing stuff on my phone. Thanks for listening, it has helped to have a good moan.