Well if anyone needed motivation

They should visit my Father-in-law who is early 70's. He's entering what the doctors expect to be the final stages of respiratory disease, due to a lifetime of smoking.

He's never been fat but now he's like a skeleton. Today he is having a hospital bed delivered for the lounge and some of their furniture is going off for storage, he's been on permanent oxygen for the last couple of years and has a syringe driver ready for morphine delivery.

As I understand it the morphine will probably be what kills him as they up the dose, but that is preferable to the final effects of the disease.

In the last couple of weeks he has planned his funeral and is waiting for quotes for the buffet from the local rugby club.

His wife has is in denial and none of us know how she will take it when it happens but my wife is coping as well as can be expected, she is just getting on with it.

Whether its a matter of days, weeks or months nobody knows but the end is neigh.

So remember when that craving hits, nobody ever died from a nicotine craving. Quitting is serious and we are doing it for sound reasons, the sooner we succeed the more chance we have dodged the bullet.

14 Replies

  • If this does not give you a wake up call nothing will.

    Thank you for posting this, and god bless your father in law.

    Joanie x

  • I'm so sorry to hear it, Nic.

    It's what all of us hope to avoid, and why we're here.

    I hope the end, when it comes, is as easy as possible, and my thoughts go out to you and your family at this sad, painful time.

    It does us all good to be reminded why going back is not an option. Thanks for sharing x

  • Sorry, Nic, that's sad..... I worked in a nursing home briefly and saw this every day, and those folks who could barely breathe, huddled outside in the freezing cold smoking. I'm glad for all of us who managed to escape that kind of future. Take good care of you and yours. bella x

  • Very salient information to post, Nic...although very sad too. Hopefully that information will make the difference to anyone reading in the next wee while and who is possibly waivering in their resolve.

    But I know that last year your BiL sadly passed on. With this further sad news I can only pass on my best wishes to you and your family.

  • How very sad......so sorry:(

  • Hi Nic,

    Sorry to hear about your father-in-law. It really does put a whole other perspective on smoking when events such as this occur so close to home.

    If only we could all realise that things don't just happen to others, they can also happen to us and our loved ones. Sadly, we're generally too pig-headed to accept that we too can find ourselves in such a situation.


  • Thanks, I'm a little detached from this in that I've never really been close to him. I will mostly be affected by how it affects my wife and at the moment she's just getting on with it.

    Cav, yes its just over a year ago that Stuart passed away, the only saving grace is that they were from different sides of the family. Still his cancer wasn't smoking related so I guess its not possible to dodge every bullet.

    It is very sad and shocking to watch it unfold, he quit when he was diagnosed but up until that point he was the kind of person that thought it would never happen them. We all have to die of something but his quality of life over the last few years has declined massively.

    I just wanted to post as this is the reality of not quitting.

  • Well to revive this old thread, we had the late night phone call. Nobody phones at 1am with good news.

    FIL had his 73rd birthday in a nursing home on Friday. His wife and children visited and about midnight on Saturday night/Sunday morning he died.

    He was not expected to make it to the Summer and to be frank he shouldn't have, his quality of life has been crap for over a year. At the end he was skin and bones, bed ridden and unable to breath much of the time; which would panic him.

    All this due to smoking,

    He was 1st diagnosed with emphysema about a decade ago but the last year has been what I see as a kind of living death,

    So remember guys craving wont kill you but smoking can and its a nasty way to go.

    Now comes the difficult times of sorting the funeral, registering the death and dealing with probate; but at least he's not suffering any longer.

  • So remember guys craving wont kill you but smoking can and its a nasty way to go.

    It's a very nasty way to go.... the occasional person may get away with it but the majority of smokers especially later in life WILL suffer serious consequences, I've seen it, been surrounded by cancer, emphysema, death, it's brutal.

    Very sorry to hear the sad news, my condolences Nic, I hope your family gets through this tough time, I know you will take good care of them.

  • My thoughts are with you and yours and thank you for posting this because it reinforces why we are all fighting this terrible addiction.

    Take care

  • Nic, my thoughts are with you and your family right now, Yes seeing this really puts things into presepective and we need realise what this CAN do to you. Ok so not all cases like this are smoking related however 95% are! my mum has lost 30% capacity and tested and her lungs are the age of a 93 year old at 61, she finally stopped but i just hope swhe does not end up like your farther, but she too knew the risks and i for one will NEVER end up like that....

    Thank you for posting

    Derek x

  • Sad times :(

    Thanks for sharing for the good of others, it is indeed a wake up call.

    Peace & Good Thoughts to you & your fam.


  • Wow this has definatly hit a spot with me. Was u a smoker when ur father in law was going through this?

  • Thanks all. Yeah father in law, like every smoker, thought it would never happen to him. He was wrong.

    I was still a smoker when he was diagnosed and for some time after, typical junkie, I think he was diagnosed 8-10 years ago and I quit 4 years ago. The steep decline over the last couple of years really hit home as to why I have quit and why I must never get complacent and hanker after some kind of misguided nostalgic want for a smoke.

    It was the funeral today, it all went well. It was nice to see that nobody needed to pop out for a quick fag at any point, quite a decent legacy I think.

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