day 18: monster rears its ugly head

[nsd_user663_40088]

I had a funny feeling he would appear more today! It was going very easily well! im ok on my own but trying to talk to mum on the phone i just couldnt do it, Im on the edge of destruction at the moment. Im gna try and and hurry up the detox abit today, as Ive got 10 hours at Uni tomorrow and i would like to feel abit better tbh, i feel like ive got real bad flu as in my head im still pretty much happy to be doing this but i feel like poo!

I do think about those cool ecigs down town called 'sociolites' with the ejuice. £50 for a start up kit though! :eek: atleast what im doing is free.

Might go sleep in a minute... xx

[Popo72 5 Years Smoke Free]

Nikki,

Nicotine is almost out your system. Once it is gone you know the remaining battle is with yourself.

Think carefully before reintroducing nicotine to your system. And as well I think I saw a link that maybe Austin put up recently with a study showing ecigs don't actually deliver much nicotine at all, so it would just be as a mental crutch if you adopted that ecig as some saviour.

Having said that. Anything done to protect your quit is a winner for me.

Take it easy and relax and face that monster down.

Paul

[nsd_user663_40088]

Oh no i dont plan on buying one! I was just saying I think there cool. But as you rightly said they dont work really and are just a crutch. Your body wil always want the real thing while its addicted to it!

I may get a nicotine free disposable one though, literally to pack if i go down the pub or club just INCASE im caught of guard. I like to be prepered. But ill see about that over the xmas perioid if i feel i need it, i dont think i will though tbh xxx

[AngryBear]

Nikki if you're still quit by Xmas you won't want an ecig by then, surely? That's weeks away yet, don't consider it. You're doing fine as you are, don't be tempted, just grit your teeth and plough through it.

You seem to be doing really well with this one, don't complicate what is a simple, although admittedly difficult process.

I was with a friend last night, weeks and weeks quit and still puffing on a bl*ody ecig. Madness :eek:

[Popo72 5 Years Smoke Free]

Oh no i dont plan on buying one! I was just saying I think there cool. But as you rightly said they dont work really and are just a crutch. Your body wil always want the real thing while its addicted to it!

I may get a nicotine free disposable one though, literally to pack if i go down the pub or club just INCASE im caught of guard. I like to be prepered. But ill see about that over the xmas perioid if i feel i need it, i dont think i will though tbh xxx

Quite right Nikki. This is not a battle against nicotine really. It is a battle against your own mind and the situations we have used a smoke to 'overcome'. For me the reason the battle is so very very hard is because it is waged in our own heads and while fighting the battle it seems it is against this external thing.

If you do not put nicotine into your body I would hazard a guess by Christmas you won't even consider nicotine an option. It really is a case of just digging those heels in and refusing to budge in the firm believe it will get better and then an amazing thing will happen. It will get better.

Paul

[nsd_user663_40088]

Lol i know, my friend has been quit for 5 weeks now (stoptober) and she had her Ecig glued to her hand all of saturday night! proberly had more nicotine than the smokers! and there was me using my spray. Not even one non smoker there actually!

yer I prob wont need it, I want smoking to become a distant memory! The craves are getting quite fierce today but im handling them easily by changing what im doing and it moves on. xx

[nsd_user663_40088]

no dont go and smoke two packs felic! lol I know what you mean though, you go into 'well it cant get any worse' mode and go all out, cant do that as a smoker turned non smoker in recovery! so we actually have to deal with our problems :eek: which is much healthier! plus you should be able to concentrate better now you have quit, so dont worry im sure you will do fine in your 4th year!

Eh and yes the isolation of being alone with your moods is heavenly. I live with my mum and i literally run from her sometimes ha ha! Im really hoping i dont crave BAD tomorrow, I dont want people thinking I have issues when i suddenly get angry for no reason :rolleyes: ive got 10 packs of polos on hand xx