Movin' on up

Today I am less of a crazy person.

I still feel as though I will inevitably fail (not sure why?! :confused:), but I have proven that I can get through the tougher times. The panic has been replaced with a little pride instead and I need to remember this going forward. I attempt to do so by buying a t shirt with "YOU CAN DO IT, YOU ARE STRONG!" plastered all over the front. Tehehe. :)

I think that I have been in my head too much over the last few days and I need to push those negative thoughts away by focusing on something more constructive (reading, exercising etc). I am often a thinker/worrier (whatever you want to call it) and so maybe, for a change, I'd be best staying out of there until things have shifted back into place!

Lessons learnt:

Have some faith in myself (after all, I've got this far, right?)

Listen to others (they know what they're talking about!).

Don't beat myself up (even if it means using the dreaded e-cig now and then, there's nothing wrong with needing some help).

I look forward to my optimism making an appearance again (I believe it is currently on vacation and will return shortly :rolleyes:) and holding onto the thought that these are just the building blocks that are moving me further and further from my last cigarette.

Thanks again everyone. I wouldn't have made it to Day 45 without your help.

xxx

25 Replies

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  • Day 45..just think about that.That is a shed load of days without deadly cancer sticks killing you slowly.:D

    There is no way we are letting this slip from you,Sarah.Can you really imagine going through all this again,day 1,day 7,yay! made 10 days etc etc? When might you do that?

    In 6 months after smoking happily all that time?

    Or put it off until Xmas eh.

    Or maybe just when you feel like it-Summer 2015 perhaps.

    There will NEVER be a better time to nail this than RIGHT NOW

    It is not easy to end smoking,it is not easy to re-think of it as escaping from fags.All of us here,on occasions,think how nice a few drags would be.BUT we also know we cannot just go on and on and on forever,we have to draw a line in the sand and STOP.I have tried before.I managed 18 months cold turkey when I was 39. But I had one Hamlet cigar in a pub and that was it,slow decline into ruin again.

    I refuse to smoke forever,I just will not put my body through this anymore,it is cruel,it is stupid,it is ruinously expensive to my wallet and my health,it is insanity.

    You need to listen to us Sarah.we DO know what we are talking about but most of all you need to look at yourself in a mirror,look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that the days of breathing in poisonous smoke in the name of pleasure are over.Find some new vices! ( I can help,lol:D)

    Thanks for your kind words and wisdom, as always, Maximus. You never fail to say just the right thing. I know you guys won't let me out of your grasp ;)

    Onwards and upwards. xxx

  • Today I am less of a crazy person.

    I still feel as though I will inevitably fail (not sure why?! : confused:), but I have proven that I can get through the tougher times. The panic has been replaced with a little pride instead and I need to remember this going forward. I attempt to do so by buying a t shirt with "YOU CAN DO IT, YOU ARE STRONG!" plastered all over the front. Tehehe. :)

    I think that I have been in my head too much over the last few days and I need to push those negative thoughts away by focusing on something more constructive (reading, exercising etc). I am often a thinker/worrier (whatever you want to call it) and so maybe, for a change, I'd be best staying out of there until things have shifted back into place!

    Lessons learnt:

    Have some faith in myself (after all, I've got this far, right?)

    Listen to others (they know what they're talking about!).

    Don't beat myself up (even if it means using the dreaded e-cig now and then, there's nothing wrong with needing some help).

    I look forward to my optimism making an appearance again (I believe it is currently on vacation and will return shortly :rolleyes:) and holding onto the thought that these are just the building blocks that are moving me further and further from my last cigarette.

    Thanks again everyone. I wouldn't have made it to Day 45 without your help.

    xxx

    Can we have a WOOHOO please?

    45 says Sarah, that's brilliant, and did you think you could do it when you stopped first?

    One of my great gran's expressions (apparently) was "I've had a lot of problems in my life and most of them have never happened" - and that's right. Don't stress it, don't question it just take it one day at a time. Say to yourself "I won't smoke today" - forget the rest of your life for now, that'll follow on naturally!!

    Your lessons are good ones, definitely believe in yourself. You are a strong woman and you have done 45 whole days without inhaling nasty toxic smoke, that's the really nasty bit done and dusted.

    Definitely listen to people on here - seriously, a lot of the things you're going through right now are almost identical to what I went through at the same time. I have no willpower, found out recently my dad gave my quit a week :eek: and it's 17 weeks tonight so.... if i can do it (cliche but it's true) *you* can.

    OK you might need the e-cig a bit. No shame in that, like Max said to me, it'll die out on its own and it's not deadly so don't sweat that.

    And yes, occupy your mind. The devil makes work for idle hands, and the nicotine devil makes craves for idle brains. Play games, read a book, go for a walk whatever but keep your brain off fretting.

    And think about how much richer, healthier and fitter you must be after 45 days smoke free!! xxx

  • Day 45..just think about that.That is a shed load of days without deadly cancer sticks killing you slowly.: D

    There is no way we are letting this slip from you,Sarah.Can you really imagine going through all this again,day 1,day 7,yay! made 10 days etc etc? When might you do that?:rolleyes:

    In 6 months after smoking happily all that time?

    Or put it off until Xmas eh.

    Or maybe just when you feel like it-Summer 2015 perhaps.:confused:

    There will NEVER be a better time to nail this than RIGHT NOW

    It is not easy to end smoking,it is not easy to re-think of it as escaping from fags.All of us here,on occasions,think how nice a few drags would be.BUT we also know we cannot just go on and on and on forever,we have to draw a line in the sand and STOP.I have tried before.I managed 18 months cold turkey when I was 39. But I had one Hamlet cigar in a pub and that was it,slow decline into ruin again.

    I refuse to smoke forever,I just will not put my body through this anymore,it is cruel,it is stupid,it is ruinously expensive to my wallet and my health,it is insanity.

    You need to listen to us Sarah.we DO know what we are talking about but most of all you need to look at yourself in a mirror,look yourself in the eye and tell yourself that the days of breathing in poisonous smoke in the name of pleasure are over.Find some new vices! ( I can help,lol:D)

    Max is right. Dead right!!

    Didn't realise you'd buggered up a 18 month quit too though :eek:

    Oh and even this time, I was going to quit "in the new year" which would probably have meant me still smoking - I owe it my quit buddy for cinvincing me to do it right away.

  • Hiya Sarah Lou,

    There is so much about your post that rings true for me. It is a strange strange thing that we compare our quits with every one else's. There were times when I first joined this forum, which was getting on for 7 weeks into my quit, that I would read other people's positive posts who were quite a way behind me time wise and feel as though I was somehow failing because I did not feel as strong as they did.

    The question is, which takes more, not smoking and being happy to not smoke, or not smoking even when that is difficult?

    If you were positive and happy in your quit and you read a post like yours, and you said what you felt, what would be your reply?

    We are always our own worst critics!

    I felt as though I would definitely fail and that I was only "along for the ride" for a long time after my quit date. It was natural for me and I think it was because when I felt that way I would have forgiven myself for failing (kind of a get out clause if you like). I had to admit to myself that there was no turning back one day, that day comes at different times for everyone Sarah Lou. Very few people quit with the conviction they will never smoke again. Its all a test to start with for most.

    You hang in there love, your positivity will come back, until then just pretend!

    I'm proud of you :D

    Molly x

  • Sarah

    Getting by with a little help from your friends! Stay strong, I really think you'll be fine.

    Fi x

  • Soooo glad to see you're feeling more positive hon, 45 days is FANTASTIC!!! And to have got this far having had rough times shows that you've got what it takes to make this one stick, whatever doubts you may have. We WILL be holding on to you for dear life Sarah and I'll do anything I can to help, you're the age I was when I had my 3 year quit and I am DESPERATE to see you hang on because I would give anything to go back and tell my younger self that, as hard as it seemed at the time, it was NOTHING like as hard as it is now! You are an intelligent, pretty, optimistic and positive young woman and there isn't one good thing that smoking adds to you, all it does is detract. Don't you let that evil smoking monster steal any more of your money, your health, your self esteem - this is YOUR life, YOU get to call the shots and he can sling his hook! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other hon, you're doing a fantastic job and we're sooo proud of you!:D

    What she said!!

    Know I've said before, but quitting at 24 was a lot easier than even quitting at 28 so am desperate for you to succeed as well!!

    We won't let you fail

  • 45 days, that is only a few days off 7 weeks, nearly 2 months, attta go girl!!:D:D

    ( mind you be careful of the vices Max is offering to help you with...;).)

  • Can we have a WOOHOO please?

    45 says Sarah, that's brilliant, and did you think you could do it when you stopped first?

    One of my great gran's expressions (apparently) was "I've had a lot of problems in my life and most of them have never happened" - and that's right. Don't stress it, don't question it just take it one day at a time. Say to yourself "I won't smoke today" - forget the rest of your life for now, that'll follow on naturally!!

    Your lessons are good ones, definitely believe in yourself. You are a strong woman and you have done 45 whole days without inhaling nasty toxic smoke, that's the really nasty bit done and dusted.

    Definitely listen to people on here - seriously, a lot of the things you're going through right now are almost identical to what I went through at the same time. I have no willpower, found out recently my dad gave my quit a week :eek: and it's 17 weeks tonight so.... if i can do it (cliche but it's true) *you* can.

    OK you might need the e-cig a bit. No shame in that, like Max said to me, it'll die out on its own and it's not deadly so don't sweat that.

    And yes, occupy your mind. The devil makes work for idle hands, and the nicotine devil makes craves for idle brains. Play games, read a book, go for a walk whatever but keep your brain off fretting.

    And think about how much richer, healthier and fitter you must be after 45 days smoke free!! xxx

    They are wise words indeed :)

    I started off by taking it one day at a time, as advised by you lovely folks, but I think, at some point, I've skipped over it and got ahead of myself. Now I've probably scared myself again, which has knocked my confidence.

    So, time to go backwards (kind of) and just get through each day as it comes.

    Well done for reaching Week 17! What a great achievement hun :D

    xxx

  • Hiya Sarah Lou,

    There is so much about your post that rings true for me. It is a strange strange thing that we compare our quits with every one else's. There were times when I first joined this forum, which was getting on for 7 weeks into my quit, that I would read other people's positive posts who were quite a way behind me time wise and feel as though I was somehow failing because I did not feel as strong as they did.

    The question is, which takes more, not smoking and being happy to not smoke, or not smoking even when that is difficult?

    If you were positive and happy in your quit and you read a post like yours, and you said what you felt, what would be your reply?

    We are always our own worst critics!

    I felt as though I would definitely fail and that I was only "along for the ride" for a long time after my quit date. It was natural for me and I think it was because when I felt that way I would have forgiven myself for failing (kind of a get out clause if you like). I had to admit to myself that there was no turning back one day, that day comes at different times for everyone Sarah Lou. Very few people quit with the conviction they will never smoke again. Its all a test to start with for most.

    You hang in there love, your positivity will come back, until then just pretend!

    I'm proud of you :D

    Molly x

    Hi Molly,

    That's how I've felt a little over the last week or so. I was in line with everyone else, was positive, had a great attitude and really believed what I was telling myself (you're healthier, richer etc), but then I felt as though I fell behind. I suddenly wasn't believing this stuff and felt like I was failing. It's not as though it was the nico-demon talking, because I didn't have any in my system. It was all in my head, and I think that makes you feel even worse.

    I'm sure my day will arrive at some point. For now, it's time to go back to baby steps I think. Working on it one day at a time got me through a couple of tough weeks earlier on, so I think that's my best bet.

    Thanks for your support :) x

  • Soooo glad to see you're feeling more positive hon, 45 days is FANTASTIC!!! And to have got this far having had rough times shows that you've got what it takes to make this one stick, whatever doubts you may have. We WILL be holding on to you for dear life Sarah and I'll do anything I can to help, you're the age I was when I had my 3 year quit and I am DESPERATE to see you hang on because I would give anything to go back and tell my younger self that, as hard as it seemed at the time, it was NOTHING like as hard as it is now! You are an intelligent, pretty, optimistic and positive young woman and there isn't one good thing that smoking adds to you, all it does is detract. Don't you let that evil smoking monster steal any more of your money, your health, your self esteem - this is YOUR life, YOU get to call the shots and he can sling his hook! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other hon, you're doing a fantastic job and we're sooo proud of you!:D

    Your advice about sticking to it while I'm young is one of the major things that is stopping me from reaching for the cigs, Kat. I don't want to ruin my quit, I know that. I just need my enthusiasm back. I'm doing a great thing for myself, something that I will be so relieved of as I get older, so I just need to make sure that those positive feelings don't flit away again :)

    Instead of trying to impatiently gallop my way ahead (which I'm sure a lot of people tend to do), I think I'll just take it at a steady pace from now on.

    Thanks hun xxx

  • What she said!!

    Know I've said before, but quitting at 24 was a lot easier than even quitting at 28 so am desperate for you to succeed as well!!

    We won't let you fail

    I know you won't ;) xxx

  • 45 days, that is only a few days off 7 weeks, nearly 2 months, attta go girl!!:D:D

    ( mind you be careful of the vices Max is offering to help you with...;).)

    Don't you worry, I'll be on my guard ;) xxx

  • Hey there Sarah Lou!

    It seems to me like you just need to have a bit of a laugh right now.

    You're six weeks in - how amazing does that feel? Six weeks is massive! If someone had told you six weeks ago that you'd still be smoke-free you'd be overjoyed...right? If someone had told me at the start of December that I'd sail into January and be heading for easter smoke-free I'd have laughed with joy. Only two short weeks to go and you're into month three, that's huge! :cool:

    I think you're right in your conclusions. Take it at a steady pace - but with huge pride and confidence please, heaven knows you deserve it and your self-esteem should be off the scale. Every day is a success, every week is a success, keep bumping through the milestones and above all you have to know that time is the healer. All you have to do is pass it well and a day-at-a-time absolutely gets you there. I'm betting you'll still be smoke-free in July.

    There you go, have a woohoo. WOOHOO! :D You're doing great Sarah Lou, do something today that makes you really laugh out loud, you've earned it!

  • They are wise words indeed :)

    I started off by taking it one day at a time, as advised by you lovely folks, but I think, at some point, I've skipped over it and got ahead of myself. Now I've probably scared myself again, which has knocked my confidence.

    So, time to go backwards (kind of) and just get through each day as it comes.

    Well done for reaching Week 17! What a great achievement hun :D

    xxx

    Thanks :D

    You definitely need to keep taking it a day at a time, you're doing absolutely brilliantly, but it is easy to scare yourself :eek:

    Just keep going and you'll be fine!! xxx

  • Hey there Sarah Lou!

    It seems to me like you just need to have a bit of a laugh right now.

    You're six weeks in - how amazing does that feel? Six weeks is massive! If someone had told you six weeks ago that you'd still be smoke-free you'd be overjoyed...right? If someone had told me at the start of December that I'd sail into January and be heading for easter smoke-free I'd have laughed with joy. Only two short weeks to go and you're into month three, that's huge! :cool:

    I think you're right in your conclusions. Take it at a steady pace - but with huge pride and confidence please, heaven knows you deserve it and your self-esteem should be off the scale. Every day is a success, every week is a success, keep bumping through the milestones and above all you have to know that time is the healer. All you have to do is pass it well and a day-at-a-time absolutely gets you there. I'm betting you'll still be smoke-free in July.

    There you go, have a woohoo. WOOHOO! :D You're doing great Sarah Lou, do something today that makes you really laugh out loud, you've earned it!

    WOOHOO!! :D

    Thanks xxx

  • typical of Hawks excellent posts that one :D

    C'mon Sarah be proud,just like Hawk says.

    And take some heat off yourself! Maybe in future we can buy a 'quit smoking' package that removes entirely the thought and wish to have any in 4 weeks-or your money back-but until then,the con trick that is smoking looms large over us and we need to bash away like looneys until we cut the cancer of smoking out of ourselves.

    Hands up who wants to start fags again,stinking,standing out in the cold,giving the clown Camoron our money in tax,ruining our health ?

    No one?

    No-nobody,cos its feckin stupid to re-start,even more stupid than starting in the first place.:D

    Sarah Lou,you are just like the rest of us,battling away,but you owe it to yourself to win this battle x.

    Oddly enough, my hand is not raised in the air :)

    Thanks Max. I definately owe it to myself and I won't give in.

    x

  • Hands up who wants to start fags again,stinking,standing out in the cold,giving the clown Camoron our money in tax,ruining our health ?

    No one?

    No-nobody,cos its feckin stupid to re-start,even more stupid than starting in the first place.:D

    It's a cold, drizzly morning here and about now would have been fag-time if I still smoked.

    So do I want to start smoking 20-odd fags a day in that muck and spending £8 a day for the priviledge of shortening my life?

    Odd but no :p

    My quit buddy's little sister asked her why she smoked when it says "Smoking Kills" on the pack, she couldn't answer.

  • Newbie in town

    Dear all,

    I am on day 27 of quitting after 25 years of smoking 15 - 20 a day. I didn't plan to quit, i just ran out one day and thought i wonder how long i can go without buying some for??? And here i am 27 days later..... can't tell you how i have done it, because i have hung on by the merest thread sometimes!!

    My question is about anxiety - i am feeling increasingly anxious and panicked on a daily basis, to the point where i am also not really able to either get to sleep or stay asleep for long without waking up and feeling edgier and edgier. I know that starting again is not the answer, becaue i also felt increasingly anxious about continuing to smoke, and i got endless moaning from the kids about it too, and they would get so upset with me.

    So, i need to know if any others did ok at first and then found it harder and harder. It's been about 8 days of real bad panic attacks and feeling desperate about the silliest of things.... am I alone, or in excellent company??!!

  • Dear all,

    I am on day 27 of quitting after 25 years of smoking 15 - 20 a day. I didn't plan to quit, i just ran out one day and thought i wonder how long i can go without buying some for??? And here i am 27 days later..... can't tell you how i have done it, because i have hung on by the merest thread sometimes!!

    My question is about anxiety - i am feeling increasingly anxious and panicked on a daily basis, to the point where i am also not really able to either get to sleep or stay asleep for long without waking up and feeling edgier and edgier. I know that starting again is not the answer, becaue i also felt increasingly anxious about continuing to smoke, and i got endless moaning from the kids about it too, and they would get so upset with me.

    So, i need to know if any others did ok at first and then found it harder and harder. It's been about 8 days of real bad panic attacks and feeling desperate about the silliest of things.... am I alone, or in excellent company??!!

    Hi Penny, and welcome!!

    Wow, that's a fab start, especially when you didn't plan it, well done!!

    If you're getting panic attacks you could see your GP (there may be an underlying cause, other than stopping smoking) or you could try Rescue Remedy, which is pretty good :) There are other herbal (not that kind of herbal Max, calm down) remedies too!!

    Good luck!!

  • Dear all,

    I am on day 27 of quitting after 25 years of smoking 15 - 20 a day. I didn't plan to quit, i just ran out one day and thought i wonder how long i can go without buying some for??? And here i am 27 days later..... can't tell you how i have done it, because i have hung on by the merest thread sometimes!!

    My question is about anxiety - i am feeling increasingly anxious and panicked on a daily basis, to the point where i am also not really able to either get to sleep or stay asleep for long without waking up and feeling edgier and edgier. I know that starting again is not the answer, becaue i also felt increasingly anxious about continuing to smoke, and i got endless moaning from the kids about it too, and they would get so upset with me.

    So, i need to know if any others did ok at first and then found it harder and harder. It's been about 8 days of real bad panic attacks and feeling desperate about the silliest of things.... am I alone, or in excellent company??!!

    Hi Penny,

    Well done for reaching Day 27!!

    I haven't really suffered physically apart from some frequent heart palpatations, which come and go. But, as you can see from this thread, mentally the challenge has been quite up and down for me.

    I have been advised that, one we reach the month mark, which you're pretty much at, doubts can start to creep back in because the thrill and excitement of what we're doing is wearing away.

    DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN :)

    And, like Gemma said, maybe see your GP if you are suffering from panic attacks.

    Remember that we all have our ups and downs and at least one person here can relate to how you're feeling. Chin up and fight! It's the best way :)

    xxx

  • I forgot about Rescue Remedy!! I just felt so great the first two weeks or so, and then just gradually feeling really scared about the thought of never smoking again - which i know is utterly ridiculous. I do have a stressul job, and have constant stresses and strains like the rest of the world does, and I'd like to be able to just get on with life without smoking.

    I have no energy (probably because I am only getting about 3 - 4 hours sleep a night) and my poor husband is bewildered because I am frequently in tears (when i am so not like that!) and I just need to know that there is some light at the end of the tunnel and that i haven't just flipped my lid, coincidentatly at the same time I stopped smoking.:eek:

    I need to keep things in perspective, because I have had some pretty OK days as well, it's just you know how you can tend to spend a lot of time in your own head and can become totally self-absorbed in not smoking - or is that just me again????!!!!! :o

  • I forgot about Rescue Remedy!! I just felt so great the first two weeks or so, and then just gradually feeling really scared about the thought of never smoking again - which i know is utterly ridiculous. I do have a stressul job, and have constant stresses and strains like the rest of the world does, and I'd like to be able to just get on with life without smoking.

    I have no energy (probably because I am only getting about 3 - 4 hours sleep a night) and my poor husband is bewildered because I am frequently in tears (when i am so not like that!) and I just need to know that there is some light at the end of the tunnel and that i haven't just flipped my lid, coincidentatly at the same time I stopped smoking.:eek:

    I need to keep things in perspective, because I have had some pretty OK days as well, it's just you know how you can tend to spend a lot of time in your own head and can become totally self-absorbed in not smoking - or is that just me again????!!!!! :o

    Try not to battle with thoughts of smoking and not smoking. It's better to think about them and put a positive spin on being a non-smoker. If you find that you struggle with this and it makes you think you want to give in, get out of your head! Lol.

    This is how I've been, on and off, and I've realised that it's best to busy myself and just take it one day at a time! :)

    Your energy will return. I'm just coming up for seven weeks now and am starting to feel less like a zombie. The tears/mood will come and go far a while. I'm still that way now at times. But I'm sure your husband understands! I've apologised to boyfriend rather a lot over the last few weeks!

    I've been told this journey gets easier and easier. For me, because I've been feeling a little negative, I'm still finding it a struggle at times. But I know it will pay off, so it's worth it.

    xxx

  • I forgot about Rescue Remedy!! I just felt so great the first two weeks or so, and then just gradually feeling really scared about the thought of never smoking again - which i know is utterly ridiculous. I do have a stressul job, and have constant stresses and strains like the rest of the world does, and I'd like to be able to just get on with life without smoking.

    I have no energy (probably because I am only getting about 3 - 4 hours sleep a night) and my poor husband is bewildered because I am frequently in tears (when i am so not like that!) and I just need to know that there is some light at the end of the tunnel and that i haven't just flipped my lid, coincidentatly at the same time I stopped smoking.:eek:

    I need to keep things in perspective, because I have had some pretty OK days as well, it's just you know how you can tend to spend a lot of time in your own head and can become totally self-absorbed in not smoking - or is that just me again????!!!!! :o

    That's really common Penny, don't worry about it!!

    Lots and lots of us have been through (or are going) through the same thing as you, but importantly it *does* get better!!

    Definitely *not* bragging but have a look at my thread in the Month 4-5 room 'cos it might help :)

    I was a teary, grumpy mess early on but it's gone now!!

    Don't think about *for ever* yet, just take each day as it comes and say that *today* you won't have a cigarette - then before you know it you'll be fine :)

    And keep posting on here 'cos it really is a huge help

    Gemma xx

  • Thank you all

    Thank you ladies - I am massively grateful to both of you for taking the time to reply so quickly!

    I will bear all of your advice in mind, and remember to take it one day at a time. I want to banish irrational thoughts immediately they appear because they just irritate me no end....

    I will keep posting though, because it makes me feel just a little bit saner.:)

  • Thank you ladies - I am massively grateful to both of you for taking the time to reply so quickly!

    I will bear all of your advice in mind, and remember to take it one day at a time. I want to banish irrational thoughts immediately they appear because they just irritate me no end....

    I will keep posting though, because it makes me feel just a little bit saner.:)

    You're very welcome :)

    You'll be fine though, it's just tough sometimes

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