Woohoo Day 2

[nsd_user663_7276]

27 hours smoke free and so I'm into Day 2.

Feels like my head is full of cotton wool and I am still eating loads.

Had a really bad night's sleep because of night sweats (yuck- but these are a good sign, right?) followed by an hour of sobbing because I started thinking about my dad living on his own once my mum isn't here anymore

It's hard getting used to not reaching for a cigarette every time a strong emotion arises!

Hope my fellow Day 2ers are doing ok.

[nsd_user663_7276]

Thanks Max and Doodle.

Feel like I could quite easily kill someone. Am so, so, so, so, SO ANGRY. My hormones are all over the shop on top of the stopping smoking.

So my day has consisted of:

Morning: cotton wool head, inability to hold a conversation, extreme fatigue

Afternoon: cake binges

Late afternoon: Extreme rage followed by inconsolable crying.

I seriously can't wait for this to get better. This is no way to live, and

I am making life very difficult for my poor husband

How can Day 2 be harder than Day 1? And what if Day 3 is worse?

Day 3 is the one I failed on last week

Sorry, please forgive negativity here. Struggling.

[nsd_user663_40437]

Hi Rachel, well done day two, me to, just a little bit tetchy early this afternoon, but not to bad at the moment.

I think day 3 can be a little hard to, but we will get though that Rachel,

Sisterhood Eh. So we will be ready for the battle just stay strong.

Joan x

[nsd_user663_7276]

Thanks so much. Don't know what I'd do without you lot!

Feel ok now and should hopefully be ok for the rest of the day- evenings are much better for me than afternoons. That makes sense because although I did smoke in the evenings, it was probably less than I smoked at other times, and often didn't enjoy evening cigs as much as the others.

Quite worried about tomorrow as Mr Newleaf is out for a long period of time (going to Arsenal game!) and I will be here with the kids and probably grumpy. Have invited a friend over for part of the day so will hopefully be ok.

[nsd_user663_7276]

Crashed and burned on Day 3, same as last week.

Why can't I do this?

[nsd_user663_54332]

Crashed and burned on Day 3, same as last week.

Why can't I do this?

Aw I'm sorry

You *can* do this, you just haven't found the right way yet!!

Are you using any NRT? 'cos that really helped me, and something to keep your hands busy too!!

Don't give up giving up

[nsd_user663_7276]

Thank you Gemma-Lou, you're so kind.

I haven't used NRT 'cause I've convinced myself I should be able to do it without but I guess I am just cutting off my nose to spite my face!

There's so much going on in my head and I'm so tired of it. Just wish I could spend a week away from myself. Am I the only person who ever feels like that?!

I've been on a long and bonkers road these last few years with addictions of various kinds. Although I am smoking today, I'm almost relieved 'cause it could have been worse. I have been craving my old addiction and came so close to doing it today but managed to avoid it. I guess I told myself that smoking was a much lesser evil and therefore ok.

Sorry, don't mean to be cryptic but not sure I want to bore you all with the details of my unwell brain.

You are wonderful people and I'm not convinced I belong amongst you. At the very least, I don't want to piss people off by being a serial quitter amongst people who are doing so well.

[nsd_user663_40437]

Oh Rachel I am so sorry, it is so hard, but do try to carry on with your quit.

I have done what you have done time and time again, year after year.

I want more out of life, better things to spend my money on.

But whatever anyone tries to tell you there is only you that can do it.

I know how I felt when I failed my quits. I felt guilty the first day or two, I thought I am letting everyone down, but then I would tell myself your a smoker always will be get over it, that would carry on for a month or so and then it would start to sink in again, what am I doing on this round about, I need to quit (again) , smoking is evil so evil it like the devil urging you all the time, just one no harm done, and then one more won't matter. and once again we are hooked.

We know this can stop, we only have to read on here of the success people have had on quitting and staying quit.

Sorry to go on Rachel, I just know you have it in you to quit.

Joan xxx

[nsd_user663_7276]

Joan, you're lovely. Thank you so much.

Just don't have much fight in me right now, but it will return.

xxxxx

[nsd_user663_40437]

When your ready sweetheart I will be here.

Joanxx

[nsd_user663_7276]

Oh! You've just made me cry. The kindness of (virtual) strangers is an amazing thing.

[nsd_user663_7276]

Max, you are a wise and kind man who always has such positive things to say. Thank you

It's fair to say I pressed the 'self destruct' button today in a number of different ways but I want to be kind to myself again, so I am going to have a nice bath and read my book once the kids are in bed.

Tomorrow is a new day and perhaps I will be ready to stick a patch on and try again with this. I really am a stubborn bugger in most areas of life so I am sure

I can apply that to this challenge

[nsd_user663_7276]

That's a really helpful post smile, thank you. x

[nsd_user663_55450]

Hey Newleaf

Just wanted to say I am thinking of you after reading your post as it made me sad. You don't sound in a happy place at the moment and some days are a massive mental battle. Keep strong think positive and pull through. We are all routing for you. X x

[nsd_user663_54938]

you can do it

hi newleaf you ok ? x

[nsd_user663_7276]

Hello, thank you so much for your kind messages. Yes, I am ok. Had a very wobbly day on Sat but yesterday was much better.

Another sunny day and that makes me feel good so fingers crossed for a good week

[nsd_user663_55464]

Morning newleaf hope you have a good day xx