Got so many!

I have so many reasons, some of which have been there for years.

But I have a new one this month. Can't believe I'm about to share this with strangers but I'm feeling emotional (Day 2!)

My lovely mum has just been diagnosed with terminal stomach cancer, with secondaries in her liver. Our world has been turned upside down in the last fortnight.

My mum has never smoked, barely drinks and has a healthy and active lifestyle. It's so unfair. AND...this is the second time she's had cancer.

Given that my lovely mum won't be around for as long as I thought she was going to be, I want to stop, and tell her that I've stopped. I won't even need to tell her- she'll know because I'll smell different :)

She will be chuffed to bits that I've stopped; it'll be a lovely gift for her.

8 Replies

  • Aww Newleaf, I'm so sorry for your family, what terrible news, but what a wonderful thing to do for your mother, she will be so chuffed. Lots of good luck coming your way :)

  • Thank you.

    Yes indeed, mum will be so relieved to know I've stopped. She obviously worries about my health and about the effect my smoking has on my children (in terms of influencing them).

    And Max- I'm sure you're right about getting to know you all here- certainly I have found it so welcoming and friendly so far. I have made some amazing friendships on other forums so have seen how powerful online friendships can be.

    Thanks again for your thoughts.

  • Newleaf, I am so srry about your news. Even more of an incentive to stop. As a mother myself I know that that is what I would wnat for my kids. Definitely not want them to smoke. Keep strong Newleaf, you have all of our support!

  • What lovely posts, thank you all.

    Kat- you've made me well up! You are so right- we are focusing on spending lots of time together and enjoying each other's company, and I will be able to do that so much better now that I won't be half-thinking about when can I sneak off for a cig.

    It really will mean a lot to her, I can't wait till she realises :)

  • I haven't said hello to you yet, leaf, so hello and welcome :)

    So sorry to read about your mum, what a horrible blow for her and for all your family.

    I know this will be a testing time, stress wise, but you've given yourself a great reason to keep going - I'm sure she will be delighted you're being so strong.

    Sending up a prayer for you and for your mum and all of your family.

    Helen x

  • Thank you Helsbelles. Nice to 'meet' you :)

    A couple of friends have expressed concern that I'm trying to give up at a stressful time. I have wondered if it's daft to do it now but if life is not going to get less stressful (and presumably it isn't if my mum's condition is going to deteriorate), then I would just be carrying on smoking until she's gone and then she'd never know that I'd managed to stop.

    And once she'd actually gone, I'd then have another excuse. Who's going to have a go at me for smoking when I've just lost my mum?! And how long could I string out that excuse for?!

    It just seems that stopping now is what shows most respect to my mum and her situation. And anyway, smoking doesn't ease stress, not really. It creates it. It all seems so clear and obvious and easy at times like this but I know there are some really hard times still to come.

    Thanks for your support everyone, you're fab :)

  • Ooooh! Small update for anyone who's interested.

    My mum is having chemotherapy, starting next week. We had been given the impression that, while the treatment would hopefully be able to shrink her stomach cancer, it would only control the growth of the liver mets.

    Mum has had an appt today with her fab oncologist who has come up with a winning cocktail of three different drugs which should not only shrink the stomach tumour, but the liver ones too!

    I don't yet know what difference this will make to the long-term outlook, but it sounds positive to me and has given my lovely mum a real lift.

    Fingers firmly crossed here!

  • It is good news newleaf, sending you lots of good wishes and hugs!!! Stay strong, we are all here for you anytime. :)

You may also like...