Day 4 - Sadness and Chaos

My emotional state is generally sad. I assume this is a chemical reaction to the quitting and I try and remind myself of that. I am doing my best to stay distracted.

On top of then general melancholy it seems a bit of chaos has been stalking me. My auto was in the shop and I was just told it needs repairs way beyond what I can afford. There is the nagging behind me telling me to smoke. It has been how I cope for almost 20 years now.

I don't think I was prepared for the vast amount of changes that would occur. I seemed to assume I would just be dealing with cravings. However, there is quite a large array of symptoms that have been bombarding me. Only just now am i realizing the strength it has taken others to even try to quit much less stay quit.

So on my day 4, I want to send admiration to those who have tried, are trying, and who have succeeded in besting this seductive beast!

Questions for you:

What new coping tools have you discovered? I could really use some new ones :)

What were/are some of your worst symptoms of quitting?

Thank you everyone!

River

9 Replies

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  • Hi River, i'm on day 4 & feel bad saying this but i dont feel too bad at all. I'm using patches & have an E-cig for when i really get an urge which i've used a few times today, it helped a lot. These i will cut down as soon as i feel confident that i wont run straight to the shop!

    I tried going cold turkey about 3 yrs ago & felt rubbish for 2 weeks til i eventually caved in :(

    This time i'm determined to succeed so using all the help i can. I also see the "Stop Smoking Nurse" at the surgery, started seeing her 2 weeks before i quit, she is an ex smoker & the support she gives me is great. This site has also been a godsend, i come on every day & read through posts on how people are doing & it really helps & pushes me to beat this.

    You have done well so far, you just sound like you need some good luck to lighten your mood & some moral support. Hopefully we can support each other & get through this together. I can assure you, you will get loads of support here, lovely people that will give you a boost just when you need it.

    Stay strong & take care

    Trudy :)

  • Hi River...Hang in there

    Hi River,

    I too am on day 4, I went 3 days CT and then last evening used an E-cig a couple of times.

    I want to answer your questions but each persons experience is so different that what I feel you may never and vice versa.

    Having said that, have you asked yourself what it is exactly that you are sad about? I know I sort of feel that way from time to time and for me I think it is a purely psychological thing in that I am trying to carve out a new identity that is not a smoker and it isn't always easy to figure out just who that will be. If that makes sense to you? I am trying to look forward to the day when I identify more with the new person rather than the old smoker.

    You've already made it to day 4 so I know you can do it!! I believe in you :). There are sooo many good folks here that will be willing to lend you an ear whenever you are feeling scared, frustrated, irritable, etc. just keep posting and reading imho it will be very helpful for you. Sorry, I wish I had more to offer but just know I am pulling for ya~!!!! Onward to day 5, we can celebrate it together....

    Keep up the good work ~ We got this !!!! :D

  • RiverSong! It's all an illusion.

    I am writing this post, not just for you but to also remind myself of the simple fact that smoking is not a coping mechanism. This itself is a massive illusion that is carved into our psyches from years of associations.

    I watch my non smoking husband, my son and all the non smoking friends I have deal with whatever life throws at them without even considering smoking to overcome them. I am afraid, the only reason you or I or other smokers feel the need to smoke to deal with stress is because we are ADDICTED!

    I think you have pretty much accepted that judging from your post. Like you, I have smoked sor a good 20 years (and then some) and my biggest challenge has been my emotional addiction, the sense of loss and deprivation. I deal with this by reminding myself of the great illusion and by watching non smokers. And by watching myself turn into one. Very slowly. Yes I am also experiencing other withdrawal symptoms, lack of concentration, constipation and i am having the most vivid dreams of smoking. They actually make me wake up in a cold sweat. Trust me when I say, they are no dreams, just nightmares!

    Stay strong!

  • Hi River

    I think these forums really keep you going, I have never taken part in one before but just reading about others similar experiences really help! I am on my second quit first quit lasted 4 months and I have learnt that you can never just have one puff....ever. I also know it does get better but unfortunately I am right back at the begining day 4 instead of month 4 :(. Just keep going one day at a time......

    Good Luck :)

  • Hi Riversong

    Sad you say? ooooooohhhh I remember the sad!

    It felt like a death in the family......

    This is a very common symptom of quitting....and in my mind...we should allow ourselves to mourn.

    Doing so is the first stage of getting over the loss of a "companion" we have had for years and years. Always there for us and always ready to help.

    Most of the time we weren't even aware he was there.....skulking in the background like the ugliest Ork from Lord of the Rings!

    It's only now after we have chosen to go our separate ways we see our friend for what "it" really is!

    A chain

    A cage

    An anchor

    A wall

    A prison

    This sadness passes very soon and is replaced with happiness, joy, relief, gladness and pride! :) ..... and they only get stronger the longer you go!

    My main coping mechanisms for quitting have been

    This forum

    Exercise

    Opening up more emotionally

    ......and if I'm honest....probably too much beer over the holidays! hic!

    You have no control over the chaos that is going on at the moment and if you really think about it ... it would have been happening even if you still smoked .... but you don't anymore ... so you have a positive right there.

    How good is that? :)

    Your inner strength will grow with time.

    I am seriously Mr Impatient and I thought... "ahh I'll be sorted in a week or so" ... really silly of me to want a 25 year problem sorted in a week but it took me a while to realise that! Doh!

    I was told so many times by quitters further down the line that IT GET'S BETTER and I always thought "Yeah right"...they're just being nice to me.

    Well I've had to eat my hat since then as .... It HAS GOT BETTER :D

    So stay strong and hang in there

    It WILL get better

    YOU CAN DO THIS...all of you :D

    Take care

    Greg

  • ShoeGal YES!!!!!!

    Thank you ShoeGal, you have managed to put into words exactly what I have been thinking!! Whoo Hoo !!

    Stay strong and please don't smoke so I won't either!!!

  • Many thanks

    You guys are brilliant! You have managed to put into words what I was struggling to understand. I am 34 and I have been smoking almost 20 years. I have spent more than half my life as a smoker. It has been a part of my identity for ages. I think my sadness comes from mourning that identity. I don't know who I am without a cloud of smoke around me.

    I am going it "cold turkey". It was my hope that my stubbornness would be enough to see me through. I am so grateful to have all of you here offering support. I think I would have made myself mad if I didn't have such a supportive group who understands the struggle.

    For now I am literally taking it one moment at a time. When it gets tough I tell myself to wait 10 minutes. So far that list of 10 minutes has added up to 4 days going on 5. I am looking forward to the day I identify as a non-smoker and the memory of being a smoker seems so far away.

    So, i'm in! We will do it together!

  • There's a great feeling of mutual support going on here, it's lovely to read, well done all of you, and well done on your quits to date.

  • Firstly, you are doing great. I remember the melancholy well :)

    This is my umpteenth quit. I'm not ashamed of that. Rather than berate myself I should celebrate the fact that I keep on trying.

    However, trying is not enough.

    My tip to you right now is for you to realise that you haven't actually changed.

    You are the same person as you were before you quit. The only difference between you now, and you then, is that now you are choosing not to hold a tumor inducing smouldering stick of filth in your hand.

    That is all. You haven't undergone a personality transplant. You haven't lost anything, sweetie.

    Smoking increases stress, eventually you will see that. When something comes up in future, you will only have to stress over that and not the fact that you want a cancer stick too.

    How would having a cigarette help you? Would it decrease the auto bill? Would it have repaired your car?

    All you would be doing is feeding an addiction, nothing more or less.

    Cigarettes hold no magical properties at all :p

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