I need a 'bunk up' please

I hope this post doesn't sound like too much of a repitition to anyone reading it. I've read many threads on this forum and everyone has their story, mine really is no different at all. I am a slave to cigarettes!

The main problem for me is, like many others, is that I completely understand this but I am too weak to take any positive action towards combating it. I always have an excuse for putting off the stopping, (I'll just finish this packet, I have a really stressful time at work approaching, I have a social event to attend).

I have smoked now for 25 years, more than half my life, which in itself is a very scarey statistic. I roll my own and buy in bulk (from Belgium) so cost isn't really an issue, nor are the social stigmas that are attatched to smoking. My real focus is on the fact that I have two beautiful young children, and the thought of leaving them fatherless at so young an age, along with the thought of not seeing them grow up is more than I can bear.

With all that said I am still choosing to smoke, so how selfish does that me?

I'm not looking for sympathy, I just need some pointers from people who have been, or are going through the same thing, on how they took the first rung up the non-smoking ladder.

Thanks in advance for your time - it is greatly appreciated

6 Replies

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  • Hi Satta,

    I was exactly like you but I didn't really want to stop. I smoked for 50 years and thought I enjoyed it. Silly me. My son bought me an ipad and while I was downloading some free apps I got a hypnosis app to stop smoking. I didn't have any intentions of stopping but it kept putting me to sleep so I used it every night for about a week and then I found myself wanting to stop.

    I joined an NHS group, set my quit day even though I knew I wouldn't last 10 minutes. I was wrong. Nearly 5 months and I never want to smoke again.

  • Well now Satta. If you're looking for a bunk up then you've come to the right place. Tips? Yeah. The right place. Congratulations coz youve already found our top tip......this forum! There wont be many, if any, of us on here who dont know exactly how you are feeling. I joined this site in about october of last year......but was so scared and weak.....it took me till May of this year to finally take the plunge. What a gutless idiot. I read and read and read this forum......watched person after person break free, longing to join them. I was sooooooo jealous yet still couldnt quite do it. Then I did. As YOU will. God I hope it doesnt take you quite as long as me.......coz you know what.......I really cant believe now how scared I was.......and how easy and joyous its been. Nothing like the nightmare I dreaded. Go on Satta. Poke yer toe in. You know you want to. Its lovely here in smoke-free land. :)

  • Satta Hi like you i enjoyed smoking and was very happy to continue smoking until i ended up with flu, and couldnt breath :( doc says i have start of COPD not happy but my own fault....

    sort of kicked my arse into touch as have 3 kids i love dearly and want to watch them grow up.

    so now on day 15 of quitting and its bloody hard, but worth it, im finding breathing easy, i dont smell of an ashtray (i know this as 1 of the people i work for smokes like a chimney..)

    give it ago you will be suprised how you enjoy being away from smoking and the stigmas that come with it xx

  • Trying to stop smoking because you think you should for the sake of others rarely, if ever, works because you are not doing it for yourself.

    As a result you will continually feel that you have deprived yourself of something you enjoy because of someone else, and that can lead to resentment, a big struggle to stay quit and eventually a cave in.

    Initially I feel you have to want to give up for yourself. Even then it is hard to start with, but it is achievable, as so many long term smokers who have turned into long term quitters are proof of.

    In my opinion where you really win is when you change from wanting to give up to not wanting to smoke. At that point you have completely lost any thoughts of deprivation and the craves disappear. You only crave what you want and can't have. If you don't want it then you won't crave it.

    At the moment you are in the "I ought to quit" category but you feel you ought to quit for the sake of others.

    You need to get into the "I want to quit for me" category or, better still, the "I don't want to smoke" category.

    That takes a change of mindset but it is achievable. I'd smoked for 31 years and didn't plan this quit at all. I just kept giving myself a target. At the start it was getting through an hour. Then it went to getting through each day, then each week.

    As time went on I moved from "let's see if I can do this" to "I want to quit" and now "I no longer want to smoke".

    It can be done, but it has to be because you want it, not because of someone else.

  • Satta

    There's a man who I occasionally see around town. He looks to be in his 50's, although it isn't easy to tell how old he is. His white hair is streaked with nicotine and he pushes a walking frame in front of him. On the frame is some kind of apparatus which pumps air up a pipe and into his nose. He takes two steps, then he has to stop for a breather. 20 seconds later he is ready to take his next two steps. It must take him ages to do his shopping. I wonder if he regrets smoking? Perhaps he remembers the times he wanted to stop, and didn't. Just think, in a few years time that could be you.

  • Hi. I so know how you feel. I am always envious of people organised enough to have a big duty free stash. I WAS NEVER TAT TOGETHER, BUT IT FELT GOOD IF i BOUGHT 2 PACKETS AT THE SAME TIME, BECAUSE IN MY NON SMOKING FAMILY SAYING i NEEDED CIGS WAS ALWAYS DODGY. Sorry caps lock, not shouting.. So on Monday when I realised that this chest infection made it physically impossible to smoke, and that trying another one every 30 minutes in case I was better was not working, my big issue was that I had a full packet. I am an intelligent person, but it took ages for me to figure that I had to throw them away. I hate not having any available smoking material, And if I have it I smoke it. Throwing that packet away was really scary, but curiously liberating. Why dont you try it, you can always buy more. Yes it is a waste, but actually buying them and throwing them away is better for you because they cause fatal diseases. Also, children HATE(that is shouting) the smell of tobacco, and no matter how much you love those children, you will find that you love them more and want to be with them more if you stop. And they will want to be with you. I am on my 3rd day so the throwing away part is fresh, but Ive done it before hence the other stuff. My task this time is to stay quit. This is anecdotal, but I think men may be better at stopping on the 1st ,2nd or 3rd attempt. Best of luck. Hope I dont sound hectoring because I'm not, its just smoking is so rubbish.

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