Completely caved today, at around 3:45 pm, the craving was so bad, then I got in my partners car and the smell of smoke, old cigarette wrappers, lighters, my ash tray, it all got too much!
I had 3 cigarettes and almost chucked myself out the window in anger/happiness. It felt so good omg but so bad HOW CAN SOMETHING SO BAD FEEL SO GOOD ARGHHHHHHH
So I'm back at day one and I'm fully prepared!
- I'm writing a diary
- I bought lots of hands on stuff, like play'doh lmao and a stress ball thing (came with my stoptober package)
- Lot's of sweets and soon ice cream
- Thrown out all tobacco (some people told me not to incase I really do need a cig, but no, if the stuff is in my house, I'll cave)
I've been suffering with social phobia/agrophobia for 4 years, I can't leave my house unless I have someone with me, so I can't go to the shop and buy any cigs and I told my partner if at any point I become to much to handle, leave the room and let me calm down!
No way am I backing down to this bitch, NO GOD DAMN WAY!
Bring it the hell on, as of 8:30pm I am a none smoker and that's how it's staying!!!!!