To the edge and back.

[nsd_user663_51869]

Last night was really hard. I spent the whole evening crying and at 11pm, I begged my boyfriend to go out and buy me tobacco. He did, albeit angrily. So I stared at the packet for 20 minutes deciding what to do, eventually rolled one and stood by the window to light it. And then threw it and the packet out.

I'm quietly pleased my two-week quit is intact but I don't feel joyful, even though I don't want to smoke. I have such a strong emotional attachment to cigs and I really did feel like they were my best friends. I know how pathetic that sounds.

When does it start to feel better? My skin looks dreadful, my hair is falling out to a worrying degree, I'm exhausted and I ache all over. Oh, and I'm totally miserable and hate everyone and everything.

Also, I hate how the Allen Carr books make out that if you're "moping" and feeling sad, you're an idiot who's fallen for a confidence trick after seeing how it works.

[nsd_user663_51869]

Came home after another difficult day and found a couple of cigarettes lying outside the door to my flat. Vogues, actually (I live above a fashion designer's studio - clearly has expensive taste). Probably fell out of someone's bag. Or the Devil himself left them there for me. (Yes, some smokers will pick cigs up from the floor) I smoked one and guess what, it didn't help anything.

Back at day one, still stressed and sad. I will try to keep going.

[nsd_user663_51726]

surely just a slip

I know people have different opinions but surely you can cut yourself a bit of slack and just call one fag a slip, hiccup, experiment what ever you like but just say to yourself you did something stupid your not gonna do it again and carry on...

I'm sorry you also feel so crap but they all say (every one of them ) that it does get better...

Keep the faith :cool:

[nsd_user663_51711]

So sorry you are having such a rough time. It is hard recovering from this addiction, but thousands of people have done it and so can you.

It's a long time since I read Allen Carr , but I think what he meant was what you discovered when you smoked the cig. You thought it was what you needed to make you feel better, and it wasn't and it didn't.

You've found that the cig you smoked didn't help in the slightest, so hold on to that thought.

I hope you start feeling a bit better about it all soon.x

[nsd_user663_6596]

Be strong.

Dont give up lovely!!!

There's many of us on here that have slipped and got back on it!!

It'll get better, today sucks totally, but tomorrow may be better...

fingers crossed and do what makes you happy (so long as its not smoking)

xxxx

[nsd_user663_51869]

Thanks everyone. This forum is really helping

It sounds stupid but I didn't realise that other people feel so moody, so all over the place. It's so good to know that I'm not alone.

I want to stay quit for many reasons, but I also want to be on here in a month's time or longer, giving encouragement to others. Want to give something back!

[nsd_user663_51711]

Ha have a read at Angry Wall. Some of us are having our little strops too ! xxx