On the edge :(

It was all going so well....just feel overwhelmed. Just too much to think about, work (made redundant now on a temporary contract and hate it), choosing a school for my 3 year old, christmas (and all the shopping for presents argghh), had a bump in the car and went into the back of someone (just worrying that I've done damage and my insurance will go up), the house is a mess (again!) plus all the usual crap. I know smoking will not make this stuff better but it's the illusion that it might....feeling crap and on the edge!

22 Replies

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  • Sorry to hear of all those things going wrong Lisa!! I thought they were supposed to happen in 3s! :-(

    We both know that smoking will not make any of them better however! :-) If anything - it will make them worse.

    Chin up and don't let it get to you!

  • dont you dare!!!

    I know how you feel though, as though everything is going wrong and everyone is out to get you its horrible but hey how much more horrible would lighting a filthy death stick be.

    its my calendar month tomorrow and i have been tempted too many times i feel cheated and that somehow by now it should be easier than it is!! but never quit quitting its just not worth it.

    what do you call a fly with no wings?

  • what do you call a fly with no wings?

    a walk!

    hope that made you smile its my favourite stupid joke pmsl

    jenni

  • Oh Lisa - I know it's grim sometimes, it will be no better with fags - that's just the demon doing his Marvin the paranoid android thang "life? - don't talk to me about life" etc etc

    You've come too far to give in. We're all here - you've helped us now we'll help you:)

    gtat

  • Lisa just hang in there girl, you have done so well to get this far. Things may seem bad at the moment with lots all happening at the same time but you will feel 10 times worse if you smoke. Your quit is one of the good things in your life at the moment.

  • as for the house work - I saw a great sign the other day it said

    "A clean house is....

    ...a sign of a wasted life":cool:

    gtat

  • Lisa you really have done so well. Dont give in now please. It wont make anything better and we all need you here to help and support us. You have nearly hit the 1 month mark too

  • Working in Brum, I know what a grey horrible miserable day it is today (and its Tuesday which is the worst day of the week IMHO).

    Make yourself a cuppa with a biccie, put a happy tune on (my favourite pick me ups are Stray Cat Strut or Lucky You), smile through gritted teeth and go 'aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh' - see much better...:D

  • Hi Lisa - I really sympathise. But we've both come too far to let the Nicodemon get the upper hand now. Hang on in there - we need you!

    Sue

    x

  • Hey Lisa...

    Sorry to hear you are feeling this way... Hell I know what you mean but the next day after coping without smoking you will feel a million times better than a smoke would ever make you feel!!!

    Sending loads of positive vibes your way and don't worry about housework, remember it's not dirt it's the angel dust :D xx

  • Lisa

    I really hope you are feeling more positive by now.

    I am having a rollercoaster ride with my quit at the moment, up and happy one minute and down and craving the next.

    If you need us you know where we all are.

    Marie

    x

  • Lisa

    I hope that my the time you see this reply that the demon that is chasing you has moved on. You have been one of the very positive rocks of this forum, always upbeat and giving a lot of time and energy to others who were hurting. It almost feels unreal that you too have periods of self doubt.:confused:

    However, you are still relatively early in your quit and you are vulnerable to these "mood" swings, which you know will pass. :) What I want to do is reassure you that it will pass. I am a little bit ahead of you and have had various ,moods, tantrums, doubts, you can put whatever label you like on them, we both know that the are them daaaaam nico monsters playing with our logic !!! DON'T give in to them......

    You have the best reason in the world not to smoke....... GO and give him a BIG ((((HUG))))) and then tell us again how bad your life is.. (I dare you) .:D .:D

  • Well said Grumpie

  • Arrgh Lisa my friend,

    You know what happened to me and how gutted I felt :mad: Smoking really sucks, yet you stopped cold turkey. Remember I called you one of the BIG GUNS cos I couldn't do that. Well you did it and I am so proud of you mate :D

    Stay strong, cos you will feel terrible if you blow it.

    Love,

    Zoe xxxx

  • Aw grumpie what a lovely post :)

    You are like the grandaddy of this forum (not in age but wisdom!)

    Lisa I hope you feel better, you are normally so positive but even you might have a few down days however hard you try to stay up. Sounds like it's all getting too much in life but you can do this, and do it without nicotine. The demon grabs every opportunity to con you and make you think you need him, but you are stronger than him, I know you are.

    Pip

  • Pip :-

    Aaaah thanks ( I think ) :confused: . Grandaddy ???? maybe Daddy would have done. Ha. Ha. :confused:

    Zoe:-

    :) GOOD to see you back. :)

  • Hey Lisa,

    Talk to us, we all have our ups and downs :(

    You are like the grandaddy of this forum

    Not quite sure who said that to grumpie, hrrrrmphh, cheek :D

    But he does give good advice Lisa, so listen up to grampa :D

    An you take care of yourself, you have done it the hard way, CT, lol that would have scared the erm, whoopsies outta me :eek:

    So go, go Lisa, think how far you have come now since your first post.

    TC,

    Love.

    Zoe xxxx

  • lisa please talk to us

    lisa if you dont talk to us soon i will make you look at my pictures again and they may have death sticks in them!!!!! then you will see what a numpty i looked like smoking.

    wish i could make your dark days as bright as you made mine hun. without you i wouldve wobbled over.

    hope your ok

    love jenni x

  • Not had a fag :)

    Oh my, I didn't expect all your responses and support, I'm crying!!!! I've just gone back on the computer since posting my message. Sorry for worrying everyone. I just needed to get away from the computer a bit. When I wrote my message about being stressed I wanted a smoke so bad I really could taste it in my mouth. Harrison was having a tantrum and I'd been trying to naughty spot him for an hour and half...plus he wants a present for xmas that is all sold out...so stressful looking for it online (it felt like that movie "Jingle all the Way"). I just kept thinking of all the things I had to sort out and do and my head was just popping. In the end I did some painting with Harrison then we got togged up and went out for a walk and sent off his letter to Santa, then made tea, then had an argument with the OH when he came home from work and I do not jest got so fedup went to bed at 6.00pm. I just couldn't face things anymore and I thought that if I go to bed I won't smoke. I must've fallen asleep as I've just woken up. My body clock will be screwed (it already is - damn insomnia).

    I've talked to my OH about how I'm feeling....he seems to just have to go to work full-time and that's about it really. I have to do ALL the other stuff which is a lot on top of working part-time, you know cooking, cleaning, picking schools, getting everyones presents for chrimbo, remembering birthdays, shopping for food/clothes etc. My other half said he should do more and hopefully we'll sort stuff out together more (he does do stuff, I don't want to paint him as a male chauvanist pig but I need more help as it's getting on top of me). I think being made redundant and having that minor car accident has also put a dent in my confidence and self-esteem.

    Thankyou all for being there for me...I'm amazed at all your messages. I didn't want to scare you all into thinking I was gonna smoke but that crave today was so intense. I just got so upset thinking "I can't smoke now, not after what I been through". I was also thinking of you guys and letting you down and that you're all going through the same thing as me and you're not smoking. So I got through today - one of the worst since I quit really. It really is hard when you're having a meltdown to resist the temptation to smoke!! Hopefully it'll make me that bit stronger so when I feel like this again I won't mentally reach for the fags.

    Love you all and thanks...I really couldn't do this without you and this forum.

    Lisax

    P.S. I've booked some annual leave off from work so I can have 3 days to myself next week...I feel like I deserve it especially after today :)

    Oh and if anyone is having trouble finding popular/out of stock xmas toys then I know a website that tracks all the shops to see when they're in stock (sad I know but my friend helped me out and Harrison now has his must have present from Santa).

  • Im sorry i didnt see this :eek:

    wow you sounded so down but glad your more positive now:)

    And the responses show that you are def needed here and not just by the newbies Lisa you have been abig help to so many

    SENDING YOU BIG HUGS X

  • Just read my post back and feel I shouldn't have anything to moan about. Bloody hell people are having it rougher than me! Sorry guys, just feeling sorry for myself. Just shows you what pressures and insomnia can do to you. Thanks again for being there but things could be worse. Sorry to offload on you about minor stuff, it's just when all this minor stuff add up together it just seems like a mountain to climb (if you get what I'm saying). I'm just used to having the old nicotine to bolster me up...in reality it probably just made me more stressed.

    Lisa X

  • Hey Lisa so glad u didnt give in . unfortunately these days come and make a lot of noise, the fag companies love it cos the easy way is to smoke, go on u deserve a treat they whisper, along with all the other money grabbing vultures at this time o year. hold on to your freedom and look forward to being the non smoker u wished for by xmas day. keep with your quit the rest of the world will fall into place and get over itself.enjoy your 3 days off youve earned em cos after amonth of not smoking youve added the 3 days to your life, GO ON GIRL.

    Mash X:cool:

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