newbie, second time of quitting and a smoker who is going crazy on day one...

Hey, this is my second go at quitting... I'm on day one, just passed the 24h mark and I'm feeling really down, that whole at a loss feeling. I'm a teacher starting a new job on august 28 and I really wanted to quit before I turned 30 and started my new job, as I'm sick of revolving my life around cigs. I suspect, as the only smoker in the dept, ill stink the place out too and that makes me feel very self conscious working in a school. My partner is also worried about my smoking ( my dad died at 51 of pancreatic cancer) and he and my mum don't understand why I'm still smoking. I've been smoking since 13. I quit for two months in 2011 and it all came crashing down when a friend and I "tried" a cigarette. Then I tried another....etc. so I'm back again, on e cigs. I've got a very strong psychological addiction, I learnt this during my last quit. Id forget to wear patches and forget my gum, but still feel no different. I use cigs as a reward - ill do this and then have a fag. I now don't have that and I'm dreading so*******ing. I also live with a smoker, so I'm hoping e cigs will help. I'm currently on my own at my partners house whilst he is in the pub. I'm too scared to go to a pub on day one, so I'm sitting here alone and my nictine demons are getting to me. I feel that because I don't go on about it to people and I don't know many smokers they don't know how hard it is. I know you guys do. X

11 Replies

oldestnewest
  • :( wow your certainly having a rough time and putting too much pressure on your shoulders

    i remember you when you was here before and how difficult it was for you to get your head round the whole idea or not smoking as you said it was part of what defined you your life and your family

    you need to change your mindset slowly into quitting and not thinking to far ahead especially with the im never going to be have another ciggie again thoughts :eek: that will def not help

    by just taking one hour at a time and saying to yourself im not going to smoke today will help

    and use whatever helps you to achieve that goal i know afew people that have used the e cig to aid them with there quit

    also try thinking about the positives of quitting writing a list of reasons is a start

    it is achieveable and you can do this by just taking one day at a time and coming on here as much as you need for support and encouragement

    have a look at the link in my signature there are some helpful tips

    im looking forward to reading more of your posts as you continue on your journey :)

    onwards and upwards is the way forward

    hugs

    Carol x

  • Hey Monster Magnet,

    Welcome (or should that be welcome back?)

    you can do this. The best thing I can say is to take Carols advice above. One hour at a time and you will beat this. We are all rooting for you. Look forward to staying updated as you follow your dream.

  • Welcome Monster Magnet...

    first of all weldone on making the decision to quit, i like you originally suffered badly with stopping, you do have a severe psychological addication and the only way to combat that is take it minute by minute.

    use this forum for guidance but remember one thing, this is not forever, the feeling will go away and the most important advice i can give also is do not change your routine in anyway as this will double your loss feeling. You are not missing out on anything you can still do all these things and have your reqrd at the end, the only thing your stopping is putting a cig in your mouth. whole 2 mins and that craving will be gone!

    i will look keep an eye for your posts, and welcome to day 2

    derek

  • Hey Monster Magnet! Congrats on the decision to quit, it's not easy to make that decision, but that is exactly what it is..... a decision / choice! You should be very proud of yourself!:D (pat on back) Like Mark says, follow Carol's advice & you will be fine! Here's to kicking day 2 into touch! :)

  • Thanks so much for your support everybody. I had a bit of a low this morning, we went for a day at the seaside yesterday so I was very busy and got up early, but I had a night of dreaming about cigarettes and woke up today my first thought 'I'm gasping for a fag, ill just get up now and....' Oh. My routine is up, coffee and fag. It did help with the e cig, but it doesn't give you the buzz. I had a bit of a random cry lol, and my partner told me he was proud of me (he is an ex smoker and gave up in 2005 after a health scare which is why he's worried about my smoking, esp with my dad) he told me that if it was too much pressure (we both have job stress and a new term to start) that he would understand if it was too much for me to stop right now and if I snapped and had a fag. I actually surprised myself because I became quite put out by the suggestion I would have another cig as I go into day 3 tonight. I don't want to have another cigarette but all I want is a cigarette...

    Yes, I think people are right about the fear. I watched friends yesterday and they were in that coffee house and I thought, look these people are happy just drinking coffee, not desperate for a cigarette because they're drinking coffee! Will I ever feel like that?

    But yeah carol is right, I come from a family of smokers and the only person still smoking is my auntie, yet still I identify myself as a smoker. I told my friend I'd quit and he said how long for, five minutes? I didn't find it funny. People have said ill never quit, and one of my reasons for quitting is if I have a baby- I don't judge people who smoke around children or during pregnancy because I always thought, I'd be a likely candidate for it! I also don't want my students at school to be able to smell it. I also feel that I don't forge as good relationships as much as I could with my team, as during break lunch and coffee time im not even there. Most people know its because I'm smoking, but I often feel as if I'm snubbing peoples cake days and birthdays. I don't want to obsess about smoking. My partner has booked some riding lessons for us so I have something new to look forward to so I'm pleased. Onwards and upwards....! Thanks to carol, mark, leeroy and derek - following your progress Derek too!

  • Chin up & keep going I'm on day 1 now & feel stronger than ever for wanting to quit after reading all these posts!!!

  • My word i must set aside two hours every time i read one of your posts monster :)

    Good luck in your second quit chap.

  • Hahaha, I teach English... I guess writing and talking goes with the territory! Hey, Sammy, I'm just going into day 4, coming out of the woods now, its always great to have somebody a few days ahead of you for support. Somebody two weeks ahead of me told me today they don't think about them at all now which spurred me on.

  • I've got a very strong psychological addiction, I learnt this during my last quit. Id forget to wear patches and forget my gum, but still feel no different.

    Hi Monster

    Congratulations and welcome.

    Have you read Allen Carr, or anything similar? I found (she says facetiously) that the psycho babble really helped me, and still does. It takes a bit of time to re-train the brain. Ultimately, it's mind over matter.

    Putting a positive spin on the negatives, and considering the utter nonsense in some of my thoughts, is what has kept me going.

    You're miserable because you're not doing something that you don't want to do. See what I mean? Totally illogical! :confused:

    Deep breaths, stay strong. :D

    Shazza

  • Good luck Monster, hope you are still with us. I feel confident that you can do this. Just take one hour at a time...hell, just take one moment at a time if need be.

    The very first thing is You must make the descision to quit. Then you do it. I am coming up on 9 months smoke free and to be honest...I still think about smoking. But, I reject it, I refuse to give into the demons.

    I smoked 2 packs a day for 43 years and then my last year I went up to 3 packs a day. That is 60 cigs a day. I could not carry on a conversation with anyone without coughing my head off and turning blue. I would hack my way threw one fag after the other.

    I decided that NewYears eve was my last night of smoking. This is my 3rd quit BTW. I prepared for it mentally more than any other way. I went and got patches, I cleaned my desk and gave my boyfriend my fags before I went to bed. The next morning I reached for a twizzler instead of a fag. I also used alot of cheese puffs. I used the patch for 15 days but am allergic to the nicotine so took the patch off and went cold turkey.

    I am around smokers all the time. My boyfriend and my son both smoke around me. I also have a neighbor will come over with a fag in his hand.

    My thing is I want to be around for my grandkids. That is my incentive. That and the fact that my cough stopped the very 1st day. I was shocked and surprised. i didn't think it would go away so fast but it did.

    I am also an 11 year Breast Cancer survivor. It took me 11 years and several scares after the cancer to do this. But, I have and I will continue to keep my mind in the right place and never give in again!!!

    So, chin up....mind straight....YOU CAN DO THIS!!! ppat

  • Hi pat, thanks for your positivity, I had a rough patch last night about 3am. Finished a lot of work and wanted a smoke to relax, but I just paced about feeling annoyed. Thete were cigs and tobacco in the next room so I could easily have had one but i didnt. I asked a friend for one puff ysyerday to gague my reaction to taste and I'm pleased to say I just had a take and never touched it. This is massive for me as the old me would have smoked it all and then bought a pack. I don't want one. I never thought I'd hear myself say that. Day 6 and going strong! Only used the e cig once today!

You may also like...